u/julie1730jt

Hey 😊

I just want to write something, get my voice out lol 😂
Yesterday I did my make up and everything with my partner, this was the third time I've done it with her, each time I was kinda sad because I still saw my normal self in the reflection staring back at me. But this time when I opened my eyes, I quite literally couldn't form words for a moment.

My partner was like uh? Do you hate it? Why are you quiet?

I was like I don't know what to say, I don't see me? I see her, I... Look beautiful! Amazing! Omg you should do makeup for a job Hun! Haha 😂

I'm still not sure of my gender and everything, still very confused with everything going on in my head.. But I can say for the first time in 35 years I looked in the mirror and thought omg I'm beautiful 😊

I just wanted to say it out loud haha I hope everyone is having a lovely day 😊

I'm so confused with everything at the moment :(

I'm 35 and a few months ago I opened up to someone close about my desire to try make up. Once those words left my lips it's like a door blew wide open, I can't stop thinking about it all the time :(

I want to dress up, I want to try being her, wear make up, wig and everything! But it's all so scary :( I'm so confused by it all :( I never really thought of myself as trans or anything until now. I used to look at women in public and think she's hot but now if I see a hot girl I think what could I look like? It's so weird how much things have changed in a few months :(

To make it harder to figure out myself I'm a quadrapligic and in a wheelchair so I can't explore or do anything myself :(

I don't know what I am and I just want answers :( I've spoken to chatgpt for hours about it all and it said I might be leaning towards transfem but not to read too much into it as it's an AI lol. But yeah it's all so confusing :(

I'd love to talk to people if you'd like to talk :)