u/justsomeshitlol

F20, Here’s the situation: I gave my nMom one-word answers when she tried to reach out to me, didn’t fall for her manipulations, didn’t speak to her affectionately, and refused to go to the store at her request, simply because I didn’t want to go. She told me again that she was upset that I was treating her like a stranger, and that she didn’t understand what she had done wrong. I said that it wasn’t just her imagination—that I really wasn’t being warm toward her, and explained that I was treating her this way at least partly because she’d woken me up that morning just to yell at me for leaving my stuff in the middle of the hallway—instead of moving it against the wall so it wouldn’t be in the way. After that conversation, I left. She probably feels abandoned, and most likely is now feeling a mix of sadness and distress, interspersed with occasional anger toward me. The problem is also that she has a panic-level fear of rejection—something that has happened to her often—so she’s afraid to trust people and has spent a long time only interacting with me.

So, after that, I felt confident again, remembered that I could be myself and think for myself, and magically got rid of all my anxiety and was ready to move mountains, but now I can’t stop feeling bad because, due to my “wrong” behavior—because of me—she had to face the truth that she has a bad relationship with her daughter and all that sort of thing… I can’t shake the guilt and anxiety and the feeling like:

“Well, I’d already had a little fun—that’s it. I definitely can’t have any more fun; I’ve used up all my fun. If I keep going, it’ll be too selfish, because it’ll mean I’m insensitive and don’t care about people who might be feeling bad (and right now I’m convinced she’s feeling bad, even though I don’t really have any proof).”

Hi, right now I’m really in need of some good books on this topic. A lot of people recommend "Healing the Adult Children of Narcissists: Essays on Surviving and Thriving After Parental Abuse" by Shahida Arabi, but when I opened it, it seemed to me that it mostly contained general and vague information—I didn’t find literally anything new in it. Maybe it’s good for gaining initial awareness, but I’ve already been there. I need something more specific—fiction would work too. I would be EXTREMELY grateful

As an ISFP, have you ever been in a romantic relationship with an ISFP, ENFP, or INFP? What were the pros and cons? Would you do it again?

или все равно плохо то что я использую свой номер телефона и надо будет чето дополнительно сделать?

Hi!

Please share what kind of career interests you, what you’d like to try, or what your current career is (if you’re satisfied with it).

Right now, I’m actively thinking about what I want to do in the future and what profession to study, but nothing I’ve come up with feels truly interesting or exciting to me. And what I found on career websites for ISFPs is exactly what I’d already thought of myself, and it didn’t really impress me.

For a while, I wanted to become a fashion designer or stylist, but I’m not sure that working with clothes is something I want to dive into. It feels like it’s “not enough” to spark a genuine interest and desire to explore it.

((Lately, I've gotten into dancing as a hobby, but to be honest, I'm not sure if it'll last, haha. I also like to imagine myself as some kind of K-pop idol, but that's just a kid's fantasy, lmaooo

and In particular, I look at Jungkook, who is also an ISFP. He demonstrates and constantly improves his singing, dancing, and English skills, seeking new approaches to communicating with the public, both artistically and personally. He views his work as a great cause, believing that what he does is a great support for his fans, so his work is important (which is true). From the outside, it seems like a dream job, haha. sorry for that.))

Maybe you could suggest something? Anything out of the ordinary is also very welcome!

Hi, guys! I don’t use Reddit that often, and English isn’t my first language, so sorry if the text is hard to read or something—I wrote this using a translator. If there are any misunderstandings regarding what I'm trying to say, please let me know—I'll find some suitable synonyms or try to explain it better.

First of all, I wanted to say that I’m an ISFP and I really, like, REALLY enjoy hanging out on this subreddit—I’ve never felt this comfortable anywhere else, tysm!!💖

Getting down to business—do you ever find that when you’re talking to people, you notice the vibe in the room and automatically, almost without thinking, adjust to it instead of expressing your own thoughts or feelings?

When I say “express my own thoughts or mood,” I mean lightening the mood too, not just my really own thoughts or mood (but them too, lol). like, a friend of mine is very tense, and instead of helping him relax or cheering him up, I’ll—as if out of some kind of fear—end up mirroring his tension after one or two awkward attempts to relax him, or even without trying at all. Although inside I’ll feel an incredible need to help him somehow, and because nothing works out (because I’m afraid to be persistent, for example), I’ll get very nervous and think I’m doing something wrong just by being there (of course, it doesn’t always come down to thinking I’m doing something wrong, but there’s always a background thought that I’m “not enough”).

Or, for example, when I interact with a store clerk who works according to a strict, well-established system—he has the same stern, professional demeanor and tone of voice (even though he’s just one out of ten clerks at a clothing store where the atmosphere is usually relaxed)— I adopt their rules and act like a good girl, even though this often doesn’t match my inner mood or sense of self, and it really bothers me. It feels like I’m deceiving people or betraying myself or something like that.

I guess it’s important to clarify something here—from age 11 to 19, I was depressed and mostly behaved like an INTP. Now I’m 20 and I’m actively learning to live, understand myself and the world, and find new ways to express myself in the world. So maybe the thing is, I’m just not confident enough yet? On top of everything else, I’m constantly trying to fit into a mold; it’s hard for me to just be myself, you know, with confidence. And it’s way easier when I think of someone with my type and use them as a guide, kind of confirming to myself inside that it’s okay to be like this—like, look, I know someone who goes through life like that, and they’re doing just fine.

I was wondering—is this something we all have in common and is generally normal, or is it a “condition” of mine that I need to do everything I can to overcome? I feel like it’s getting in the way of my life. On top of everything else, I’m currently working hard to break habits I picked up during my depression, and I can’t yet tell if this is one of those habits—and therefore a problem—or if it’s actually a part of me that I need to accept.

Anyway, I apologize if it turns out I wrote off-topic or just nonsense.

All the best to everyone! ❣️