r/isfp

Is it okay to not be ambitious?

Ambitiousness is something which gets less spoken about.

I don't have an ambition.

Ambition varies from person to person, depending on their experiences, personalities, willpower, prestige and their overall drive.

I don't have a reason to be ambitious for.

I just fake that I am ambitious. Fake it til you make it they say.

I wish I was ambitious. I would be busy with my plans and executing those plans.

But I just am not......not yet.

But I am supposed to be. I can't start thinking of something after the time intervals for such thought has already passed.

I wish the systems went easier on us..

Because not all of us discover our ambitions early in life and work on it.

And we discover it too late, too late as we are stuck in monotonous, life long, minimal salary job with our dreams unfulfilled and we are unsatisfied.

And above all, our potential gone to waste.

I need more exposure to life to make a change. Most of us do

Hey guys ive heard some on the isfps in my life kinda say that they dont always see friends as closw. They reserve that closeness for family. But then i feel that intuitively they do treat me and ppl i know close to them a bit differently. What do u actually think there. Now ive seen this in my isfp connects partixularly so i asked elsw this doesnt seem very specific

again i might be overthinking all of this stuff but idk i need opinions about my sitatuion

introduction and back story:- im an INFP male and i had a huge crush on my classmate (ISFP female)
she had been my classmate (and crush) for two years and in the last two years we almost never talked (mb TwT)
, right after graduating from school (28th march), i confessed how much i love her (on ig, well it was a novel sized message, with a flower bouquet doodle)
but she rejected me (TwT)

important side event :-
i had been trying to find way to spent more time with her (in groups) right before school was supposed to over, and i kinda used one of my friend (ENTP), (he didnt knew about all of it because he was the worst friend one could possibly have (due to many reason), i never told him because im very secretive and as i said he wasnt a friend i would willingly tell about my first crush, YET, i gave many hints, like i genuinely always talked about her, and he knew that i had a crush on someone, he knew i had hard time talking to her)

so this guy went on a date with her (that day was the darkest day of my life, just a day before the day i had planned to confessed), i still confessed to her

for a fact, her does not genuinely like her, he is just one of those who needs a girlfriend
he always used to say me he needs a girlfriend and he once even cracked a sexual joke about her with his other friends

**he was an old friend but from last 2 years he used me alot, he chose his new friends (we were friends from our previous school and he asked me to join this school saying "he is alone" but when i joined, he made new friends and started neglecting me) i stayed because i forgive people easily till its a lot**

after confessing, i unfollowed him and silently broke my friendship
but she told about him, on the same night he came to me saying sorry, but we had a big argument during that time he told be that she is also reading the chat
she read a bit of the chat (or maybe the whole thing im not sure)

back to the main story:-
it was getting really difficult for me so after around two days i messaged her again, casually
we talked for hours
and see here is the thing, he is NOT a good person to be with and she also faced issues after she brokeup from her first boyfriend
so i told her about the s*xual joke he made
she felt really down, and confronted him, but he denied.
i rementioned this thing various times (one day i had argument with him and i also confronted him, he denied and i told her about this event)

i started talking a lot, like really a lot
we shared reels (like really weird ones)
she started asking me personal questions and so do i
we talked about dreams, bucketlists etc
she once said she likes people who can play guitar (she knew im learning guitar), who are smart and knowledgeable (she used to call me knowledgeable)
i mentioned how movies sometimes make me cry and she responded with"it is kinda "cute" that a guy is accepting it "
i would wake up (she is an early bird) with spammed reels, while i'll spam reels before sleeping (night owl)
she would tell me about random things that happened to her
once i was around my guests (i told her) and took time replying to her to which she sent a reel stating that im ignoring her, i apologized to which she said she was joking (i actually felt that she enjoys talking to me)
and i also started sharing my secrets with her (apart from her, i only share my secrets with my best friend (INFJ male))
i also told everything i noticed about her in last two years like all the dresses she wore apart from uniform (it was kinda creepy but never creeped her out)
i played minecraft with her on two random day (my favorite game but she barely know how to play) and one day she asked from her side to play minecraft
we also play mlbb(her favorite) together and she also used to message me asking if i wanna play
she told me about random event from past two years related to us
like once she asked if i blush easily, and after that she told a story how once we both created eye contact multiple times in a row and i immediately broke them everytime which made her kinda blush or that once we were playing games in a group and we both shouted the same thing together and that she always found it weird that i had hard time talking to her and kinda ignored her while i easily talked to other girls
she used to act weird around me and said she find it comfortable that she can act weird around me (i used to match her energy)

things were going good and i thought maybe i might have chances in future
but than one day she said she would be busy with household works
but after than she started messaging lesser and lesser
now here is the thing,
(as a overthinker there is a really high probability that i might be overthinking everything )
she is active on instagram (im not sure if it is in background or what)
unlike earlier, she takes time to reply (she also started keeping notifications off, thats what she told me)

dry replies
her messages used to be energetic but no more

i dont wake up with spammed reels

she no more askes to play mlbb (though we still play if we both are online at the same time)

she does not askes questions anymore

Earlier when ever i asked some questions she would always reply with "wbu" but now she sometimes doesnt

she no more shares about random things like she used to

like its not at all what it used to be

here are my speculation:-
again i might be overthinking all of this stuff

they are still in contact and play mlbb, not sure if they talk or not (i tried a lot to warn her about the type of person he is but well, i failed)
maybe it has something to do with that

maybe she started to think im boring (im very philosophical and talks a lot about stuff like mbti which she is not interested in)
and i kinda did what she did but multiplied, like asking questions and all

whenever she was busy i used to tell her that its fine we can talk later and that she does not immediately have to reply to me if she is busy (see ik im crying about what i asked her to do, but i never asked her to reply with dry texts, and not to constantly ignore me)

though im romantic, can write poems (also showed poems i wrote about her), send flower reels but i dont have that stupid thing people call "rizz"
im just a cute (actions, not lookwise), "chalant", deep in love, romantic kinda person

maybe i flirted a bit too much:- like sharing about how i felt about her in moments, sharing flirty reels (earlier i asked for permission saying that it might be weird but she said its fine) and always replied with "awwwww" or "thank youu ^^" or those flower reels
she still replies the same but a bit dry

im kinda overdid my traumadump and maybe she thinks im just a depressed lifeless dude

im kinda clingy and ik that ISFPs are very independent kind of people, maybe she didnt not like clingy nature of mine (im very independent but i want a person i can be emotinally dependent on, i can do my chores and stuff, and can be a dependable person just i wanna be assured that i have someone)

or maybe she found something about me really weird

(one day i randomly asked if she would like to watch a movie online, (i'll watch from my home while she will from hers) and asked her to pick a movie and lemme know whenever she can, to which she replied with joy and said it will be fun, but she didnt talked about it again and i had to mention it that if we can watch movie after her exam (she had one a few days ago) she said that she forgot to choose a movie and that she will)

im kinda of a person who need validation
so i directly asked once if everything is alright and she said she is really tired of all those household stuff and all
and i asked if i did something weird she replied with "NOOOOOOOO"
this was the first time in a while when she didnt dry replied and actually typed a lot, following it we had a conversation about things and i wasnt the only one who was talking she also mentioned that she tried to find a movie but couldnt
(its been almost 6 days but she didnt mentioned it again)

i also said reels as jokes stating "sorry to message you" ik a risky move but that had funny backgrounds

she used to send her artworks (we both enjoy art) but no more to which i asked if she had been drawing these days and she said no

she also said she is usually always surrounded by her family members now a days (she is not allowed to use instagram) and that it would be the same until she gets admission in a college

well the thing im most scared about is that, ik most ISFP silently distance themselves if the find something weird about someone and might never like them back

so i wanna know opinions if its me who did something wrong or is she is actually busy rn and im just overthinking btw she lied to me once which i caught and mentioned,( it was that we were playing mlbb while she invited another person saying they are her's online friend, which i realized that he is that friend of mine, she is kind of a person who might try to not leave someone alone so maybe she did this, but a lie is a lie)
so there is a high chances that she might be lying about a few things

its midnight and i hope i will wake up to reel spam (i didnt spammed reels though i asked a question after she slept and hope i wont woke up to just a dry reply)

note:- i might have made it sound worse than it actually she still sometimes shares new and funny stickers btw

also im thinking to propose her (earlier it was just a confession) in the coming future (not sure when though) and i need suggestions related to it

I’m an ISFP girl and I’ve always found it weird that I hate sudden changes to my plans, even though I’m supposed to be a “go with the flow” type. Maybe what actually bothers me isn’t the change itself but the feeling that I didn’t get time to mentally prepare? Does anyone else relate?

I’m looking for some insight and advice on my situation with my roommate. We are friends and we have supported each other through hard things. It can be a bit hard navigating things now that we’re living together though. She will often talk for long periods of time like a monologue or stream of consciousness if there’s an opportunity, like I’m eating dinner with her and her kid. She will change topics throughout and tell lots of stories so there isn’t really any back and forth or opportunity to interrupt. What’s hard is I get drained and feel like I have to suddenly cut off the conversation. It feels very abrupt because there’s no easy way for me to segue out of the conversation. I’m not sure how to manage these interactions because she is also pretty sensitive. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I get so exhausted and wind up listening for longer than I even can handle. Do any ISFPs have any advice? Thank you!

Ive been thinking of a fews path when i get older and such, and engineering and military navy branches are looking pretty good, just wondering if anybody has any experiences in the military here in ISFP?

Just wanted to express my deepest gratitude to u fellow isfps. Am an infj with an isfp bestoe. Being with him has taughtbme so many facets of life. U guya can be chill and live life in the moment. U guys can be chill with evryone but know how to show subtly that u enjoynsomebodys company. Amd the way u guys can socially blend into scenarios while maintaining ur philosophical side and persona is inspiring.

The level of committment u guys show is reassuring and u all are gems. The world needs more ppl like u who can love the present moment and teach spontaniety and true relationship

Hi, I have a question out of curiosity and a small concern.

I’m currently dating an ISFP (male), who is slightly older than me. I’m an INFP (female). Our relationship is generally good with only small arguments. Even when we do argue, we usually talk it through and get back to normal quickly, so things are fine for now. We are both naturally quiet people. But lately, when I’m with him, I notice I become more extroverted and expressive, while he stays calm and composed.

When we spend time together, I tend to laugh a lot. Even small jokes or simple cute moments make me laugh more than usual. Sometimes I worry that I might be “too much” for him. I think this happens because I usually hold in my feelings, so when I’m with him, my happiness comes out strongly. I also feel very happy just hearing his voice or seeing his expressions.

I’ve tried telling myself to stay more grounded and not be too loud, but I still naturally laugh a lot when he says something funny or cute.

So my concern is: am I being too much, and would an ISFP find this annoying or get overwhelmed in the long run?

Thank you 🌸

Edit: I think I'm okay now, TQ!

type me help

hi i'm still looking for my mbti i always get 1.ESTP/2.ISTP 3.ESFP. i'm a girl 22yo

I make sure that everyone is included in the group and feels like they belong and are not left out, even if I don’t always feel it emotionally or sometimes I do. I still feel obligated to do it because I don’t want anyone to be hurt. It’s not necessarily because I feel it deeply every time, but because it is a principle I have. ( Ti-Fe ? )

I really don’t think I’m a Fe-dominant type, because that kind of thing drains me, and other people’s emotions drain me as well. I don’t enjoy helping others, and I don’t like feeling responsible for them or guiding them in their decisions.

I can do it from time to time if I feel that the person is not becoming dependent on my opinion. What I truly enjoy is debating or sharing my knowledge when it involves logic and reasoning. For example, solving a problem or explaining a logical calculation is mentally stimulating to me, because I like demonstrating that I can reason clearly.

I also rarely know what I’m feeling. Most of the time, I feel nothing in particular. My emotions tend to come more from external experiences, such as going out or spending time with people I care about. And when I’m not doing well, it’s usually other people who tell me that I should talk about my problems.

don’t really like my personality because I become very very attached to people. I genuinely love being around others, and even if I’ve only talked to someone once, I may immediately want to see them, meet up, go out, or have a meal together.

I’m often drawn to people I find attractive, and I can get emotionally attached to them very quickly. But when I’m no longer with them, I sometimes start questioning the point of having friends at all, or I suddenly feel drained and lose interest for a while.

Even so, I know that I do care about them and that my feelings for them are real. It’s just that my desire for connection tends to come in intense waves, followed by moments of emotional distance. That’s why I like having a lot of friends, so I don’t get tired of any one friend.

I’m not a very talkative person. My conversations are usually quite simple and based on what I see around me, the things in my environment, and straightforward connections between them like food, activities, or whatever is happening in the moment. If nothing comes to mind, I don’t force the conversation.

I don’t naturally have the kind of conversations where ideas keep branching out endlessly the way they often seem to for Ne-dominant types.

If I invite someone over and we don’t do anything in particular, I tend to become quiet and nonchalant; I may not talk at all, and I find that boring. On the other hand, if we cook together, go out, or do some kind of activity, that’s when I feel like myself, as long as emotions come to me it all depends on whether that happens.

That’s why I thought I might be an ISTP or ISFP, but my very sociable side approaching people and really liking people a lot makes others tell me that I might be an ESTP or ESFP.

Je sais que je suis isfp et sur la plus part des points c'est le mbti qui me correspond le mieux. J'ai déjà refait le test plusieurs fois et même sur les points je sais que c'est celui qui me représente. Mais voilà, je suis très insociable et je me met en retrait facilement. Je n'ai que très peu de nouveaux amis car je n'arrive pas à m'en faire de nouveau.

Néanmoins tous les isfp que je connais sont très sociable malgré le introvert du type. Ils n'ont pas de problème avec la sociabilisation..

Donc je voulais savoir, est-ce que c'est moins qui me suis mal informé sur lez différents type (et que donc je devrais sans doute revoir mon type) ou il y a d'autre personnes dans ma situation

I think I very rarely feel anger. I get frustrated a lot but don’t feel like I show it much. I get told that people can’t imagine me yelling and honestly I can’t either. I’ve never had any crazy outbursts where I yelled at people. Sometimes when things build up I get panic attacks and cry. And there’s this feeling under my skin that makes me want to tear it off or hit my head on something (I never do but it comes out as a panic attack). Before it gets to that point though I mostly just shut down and go quiet. If I haven’t eaten I get snappy but otherwise I’m good. I honestly wish I could get angry sometimes though, it seems like it would be easier. Do other isfps relate or is this more of an individual issues based on circumstances?

Hey guys just wanted to ask.Do u isfps prefer starting a xonversation or letting one start it. Am an introverted feeling mbti too. And is that behqviour variable between th9se extra close to u and normal ppl. and what is smthing u look for in a friend

Today I was at lecture about trance state. One of things I learned there is that you can cause it to your audience by providing information with incomplete data, so they would finish the picture based on their subjective experiences and interpretation. For example a person went on vacation to sea. A sea has a shore, but due to lack of data it can be interpret as being sandy or filled with pebbles, which are sensory details. The more general description you provide, the less concrete data it contains. Therefore abstract is about intangible ideas and concepts while concrete is something tangible you can experience with your five physical senses.

Few days ago I saw on this subreddit a post from an ISFP who wants to have deep conversation with her intuitive friends, but can't. Today I had the following exercise: I give my conversation partner a general description of my experience and the latter tries to figure out concrete details, which puts me in trance state as I try to remember them and confirm whether they guessed it correctly, then we switch roles. There was a philosopher named Friedrich Hegel, who used from abstract to concrete method which translates intangible concepts and general principles into physical examples, so the exercise I had today is the opposite, to make descrptions as general as possible. With this I started to understand intuitives even better along with my own Ni.

hey y'all! I'm kind of new to enneagram. I'm familiar with MBTI, but not enneagrams or tritypes. I've looked into cognitive functions and I know that I'm an ISFP, but I've looked into different enneagram numbers and I think I *might* be a type 6w5. for a long time when I had a surface level understanding I thought I was a 2w1, but I don't think that's correct anymore. so I wanted to know if these four things are compatible?

-ISFP

-6w5

-261

-sx/sp

If you are an ISFP lady that has dumped your partner due to emotional overwhelm/felt like you weren’t validated in conflicts but didn’t voice out your concerns (obviously no fundamental issues like cheating or betrayal in the relationship), what would you have liked your ex who has made actual changes do to win you back?

Is it just space? Or would you have liked them to put up a fight? Or just to stay around and be available?

I’m aware everyone is different and asking because I’m curious. Not really applicable for my situation but just want to be educated!

Fi confuses me, I'm not sure what it does for me. What is the purpose of Fi, and how has it helped you all?

hi guys am an infj with an ISFP bestie. just wanted to say. u guys are amazing. but had a concern. like my friend helped me get over some real bad emotional disappointment and he seemed really cheerful and talkative and friendly with me. suddenly, next day, he became silent and didn’t talk to me the whole day. while he talked with the rest. like he’s genuinely caring and loving and he himself asked me how I was feeling before helping me out but is it that i am too overbearing

like do u isfps do that when u wanna dislike somebody or keep them away or what. like I’m genuinely confused he didn’t even tell me clearly when I asked him if he was alright like if I troubled him too much

I wonder if it happens to you too...???

Sometimes... a random fact or thought starts a "line/chain" I keep following, and start to research topic after topic... (probably in a rather Ni fashion, one thing connecting to the previous).

Psychology topics, random pieces of history or science.

I don't dig deep enough to become an expert, but read enough to have an idea, to know such things exist (even if I probably won't use that knowledge... but maybe I will... or maybe it has a personal connection)

How about you? :)