u/k_leigh777

I have a feeling that the answer to this will be to just ignore it, but I wanted to ask anyway.

I am 18 and my stepmom is 50. I have a boyfriend who treats me right and has never done anything to make anyone think. Otherwise he basically worships the ground. I walk on, but I overheard my stepmom talking about how she thinks he has no drive and gossiping to her friend about him and I and how she thinks I could absolutely do better. She was insinuating that she would be concerned if we actually ended up staying together for life (which is the goal) although she claims to like him and has even said outright that she knows he would never do anything to disrespect me.

Now I know this is probably a parental thing, like” no one will ever be good enough for my kid” type thing, but he has a lot of drive she doesn’t see. It’s not like it’s hiding. He blatantly says what he’s passionate about. He just doesn’t quite know what he wants to do for college yet because he is still in high school.

My issue is that in my brother’s past girlfriends or recent relationships, their girlfriends can do no wrong. They can be the exact same way as my boyfriend, but my boyfriend will get slack for it.

My boyfriend believes in God, but has not been baptized yet and that’s a big issue for her, but in my brother’s most recent relationship, she had not been baptized either, but she loved her to death.

If you’ve seen any of my other post, you know that my stepmom can be unfair and that she favors my brothers, but if I’m being honest, I’m just kind of overthinking right now.

It just seems like no matter how amazing he is compared to anybody else that’s been in my family, it won’t be enough for her.

So, is this just completely normal and I’m overthinking? Because that’s totally plausible. Is this just standard parent stuff? Should I just ignore it since I wasn’t supposed to hear it in the first place? Is there anyway for me to get her to realize how amazing he is?

I’m 18 and just recently graduated highschool. I am staying home for college as it is affordable and nearby. I have a lovely boyfriend. One who is respectful of my boundaries, caring and overall perfect for me.
Unless you ask my step mom. She is quite bipolar as she says she loves my boyfriend but subtly hates on him and when he’s not around. She is VERY religious and believes that him believing in Jesus is not enough, and that he needs to try harder and “lead me”. In her books he doesn’t have God, while I tend to believe, that belief and faith in God is what truly matters.
Id say I’m pretty religious but not nearly as old school as she is. To her I have failed by choosing this boyfriend and being “unequally yoked” even reposting stuff on Facebook that she requests me to read and constantly said TikTok’s or reels talking about purity or modesty.
I don’t know how to handle this. If I just don’t respond she believes I’ve blocked out God and the church…which isn’t true. But if I talk I’m afraid I will snap, and I know she thinks she means well.
We have problems in general…after all she just recently showed a picture of me to me and said that if I were raped in it, it would be my fault (because my skirt was “too short” and that it’s wrong because “I’m trying to cause men to stumble”) but that’s beside the point.
I need to be cordial with her I just really want some advice from someone who may have been in a similar situation as me. I’ve sat down and talked with her but she picks and chooses days to harp on me.