u/katsmellslikeaustin

I have a possum friend that lives in the yard next to me. I have so lovingly named her Persephone. I had befriended her; petted her, hand fed her food, and enjoyed having her around.

Around 5:30 this morning I found out she had babies but not the way I had hoped. My dog went after one of them. He broke the skin and he was bleeding. I put on a compress on him until the bleeding stopped. My gut instinct told me to take him to the vet but at the point he went to his mom.

I feel like I messed up by not going with my instinct.

Ughhh.

Hello,

I plan on taking my dog out for her last day out in a couple of weeks. I’m getting a wagon to take her on her last day out fun. Probably go to buzzmill for pup cups, then get ice cream. Followed by a walk on the trail to get last day pets. I want to make a sign but I’m struggling? Give me your suggestions.

Celebration will end at Fraziers with a beer and burgers with friends.

Well it’s finally over, and it didn’t happen pretty. But much like our relationship nothing was pretty.

It started off picture perfect but who was I to know what really lied inside of this person, the hidden beast. The beast that I suspected after 8 months of dating but I was naive and in love. He blamed it on his roommates for his hiding of alcohol.

The lying started early just not with the beast. It started with hiding he was hanging out with ex and friends with her. I don’t know why he decided to do that if the relationship was so important to him but he did. It created mistrust from the beginning.

Things started snowball with his drinking once I moved in. I believed his lies and why he hid his booze, but eventually I caught on because we are all smarter than them. I decided maybe it was a phase and decided to reach out to his ex to be friends with her. 6 months flew by and not a peep until his mom said something to her. By that time I knew how she prioritized him and how she valued him.

Things start to get progressive worse, his drinking starts to impact our relationship. I find empties in the car, I find him passed out in his car multiple times. I’ve carried him out of the corner store where he pissed himself and I thought it was because of his ms. His “ms” ruined so many good times for me, he couldn’t stand up, sometimes he could even go to work. I called in for him.

Around April of last year, he has his first seizure. It was the alcohol. He was adamant it was the heat but you can’t dispute facts given by doctors. He immediately drank after. Not long after that, 2 months, another seizure. I was done. I signed my lease in the hospital. The lying, the roller coaster and the manipulation had a toll of me. I needed self preservation.

I was weak when I moved out and allowed him in my life again. He continued to do the same but in my own home. Hiding empties in my couch when his mom was there but blaming me. That had consequences for him because he knew my boundaries. A lot of tension and a lot of I don’t get your boundaries.

During this time I found out he lied about having ms to cover up for his drinking. I was at a loss of words and I’m still at loss of words for that lie. How does one move forward from that? Honestly I don’t think you can, at least not me.

In the following 6 months he would have two more seizures, one where he decided to get sober.
But apparently you can still be a shady piece of shit when you’re sober, or a dry drunk.

He knew my stance on his ex and he could have that relationship with her if he wasn’t shitty in the first place. Things ended dramatically and horribly. But he finally got his shit, and I blocked him and his mom.

She enabled him and still does to this day. 39 years old and your mom is drinking with you one day, washing your chonies the next, to being supportive.

My emotional capacity is done and I’m tired. He came to get his stuff and that’s it.

This a reminder the journey is hard, and no one except us knows what the journey is but it will get easier and we will be better because of it.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

After everything I’ve gone through; the lying, the lying, the hiding, the 4 seizures, him getting sober, to not admittedly relapsing, to lying about his ex again, and then finding out about it again.

I just want to bunt kick his phone into the street. Tell to me to do it. I know it will make feel better. Like fuck him and fuck being made to feel crazy when they say I should trust them.

Only right answers only.