u/kazedoodles

For context, I'm 27 years old and have been identifying as trans/transmasc every since I was 16 year old. For most of my life I been keeping myself in the closet due to the fear of what others (especially my family) would react if started my journey. I have been in two situations where I came out to my mother for her to reject me and/or tell me she wouldn't love me if I did decide to transition.

So, for the longest, I have been trying to promise myself that I can push off and wait to a point to start my transition. But that wait is agonizing and I decided recently that I don't think I have the strength to wait anymore. Part of it is envy of seeing my friend's transition journeys, part of it is the fear that I'm going to be stuck like this.

I talked to my therapist last week about finally getting on hrt, then today to my endocrinologist. She was thrown for a loop (I didn't really talk about it with her, this appointment was about my issues with PCOS), but was willing to help me begin. I'm excited to begin, but at the same time, I feel so nauseous and scared. I guess I'm writing this to gauge how others experienced wanting to start their journey but feeling like absolute shit and worrying about your future relationships with a family that isn't supportive.