u/kendiray

The only gothic romance I’ve read is {Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier} but I’d like to try more.

I want the romance to be in the forefront with romantic and sexual tension and angst. But with a darker and eerie tone in the background.

Please no paranormal or fantasy. Just straightforward human f/m stories with a brooding but quietly thoughtful MMC and a quiet but clever, knows when to speak up kind of FMC. I usually enjoy 1800s the most.

Thank you ☺️

I can handle a lot of anachronisms in historical romance. “Making love” meaning sex? Fine by me. Honestly, I can’t think of anything better because alternatives are not exactly seductive. “Would you care to join me for a bit of tupping?” sounds like he’s about to throw her into a hay bale behind a tavern. “Do you dream of our amorous encounters?” sounds like singles night for Victorian Ghostbusters.

But I digress.

{Never Met a Duke Like You by Amalie Howard} was going along perfectly well. Funny, polished writing, sexy, until the MMC started saying “fucking” this and “fucking” that and what the fuck did you do? or something like that. My immersion plummeted off a cliff at this point.

As far as I know, until the late 19th and early 20th centuries, the f-word was primarily used more literally/sexually by gentlemen rather than as intensifier or profanity. Which makes me wonder, why not use it for its intended purpose?

“I want to fuck you” mid-foreplay? Yes, please.

But when a duke started sounding like a teenage boy in a backwards baseball cap, my love for the story suffered.

To be fair, I disliked some period-appropriate swearing too. I once read a book where “ZOUNDS!” was the only curse word mcs used. To me, it sounded like something a wizard would say.

After the fifth zounds during an emotionally intense scene, I gave up.

The last thing I learned was that dance cards became popular only during the Victorian era. 😳 This surprised me because dance cards are often depicted in regency novels.

Also, acquaintance cards or flirtation cards were slipped into women’s hands in public by men to initiate contact eg ask if they could walk her home etc. This also surprised me because it seems so cheeky compared to stereotypically rigid British customs in those days.

How about you?

This is two tiered question in case anyone is interested in commenting on the personal side as well as legal. Sorry for the lengthy description.

I'm a retired health professional who has worked as a medical expert witness in personal injury. Six months ago, my mom tragically slipped and fell on black ice, fracturing her skull and requiring brain surgery. My sister and I have been her caregiver since then. We all live separately.

When mom was in acute care, my sister's husband looked into suing the company that owned the parking lot where she fell. Once mom moved to a rehab hospital, we all had a zoom call with the lawyer he'd been talking to for a month. From the call, it was obvious that my brother-in-law (bil) had not asked any right questions. He knew nothing, hadn't even reviewed the agreement but in his mind, he'd "done a lot of work". During the call, the lawyer asked for main contact. I knew my bil would want to be because he always wanted attention and praise and validation, but I couldn't let him.

I said to the lawyer and my bil (my sister had to leave with mom early) that because I have experience in the field, I can communicate with mom (he doesn't speak her language vice versa), and have been looking after her from day 1, I should be the main contact. bil said nothing. I emailed him afterward, thanking him for his initiative and efforts.

Shortly after reading the agreement, my husband and I decided that all the liability (lawyer costs, both opponent and our side, expenses) fell on us. If went to trial and lost, it would be a six digit cost. We also wondered why he hadn't mentioned the insurance they or we could buy to cover these costs. He seemed like a cookie cutter kinda guy so we looked around for other lawyers.

One lawyer who was very well reviewed and timely in his response and specializes in personal injury said their firm routine buys insurance on their dime to reduce the risk on both sides. He charges 5% more than the other and said our settlement would be a six figure. I sent the agreement to my sister and bil and explained the pros of going with this lawyer.

Then my bil went on a smear campaign, saying he wants nothing to do with this and that i snatched away his role when he put all the effort into it. He also claimed that his lawyer said he could settle for 450k. I told him his lawyer said 145k. The lawyer confirmed and said 145-450k. My bil texted my husband, said we can be liable for everything, that if anything went wrong, he wouldn't pitch in a dime. I have experience in the field so i said whatever, that's all bs. But my sister is taking his side, saying she doesn't feel comfortable with the lawsuit because of what her husband said.

FYI, my BIL rented his condo to a tenant who showed 0 credit report. He's not allowed to see a doctor on his own because he asks no relevant questions. He's always trying to please people except his own family. Then my husband said he doesn't feel comfortable anymore and is inclined to let the BIL do whatever he wants because he doesn't want to live with the rift in the family. But when I think about my mom and the financial costs of caring for her in the future, I feel like I need to make sure it's done right.

Even with insurance, there are risks. We are covered up to 100k by insurance company and still responsible for our lawyer's billable hours which can be up to 50k per year.

Personal Q: Should I take care of the lawsuit or hand it over to my bil to keep peace in the family? My husband was also diagnosed with cancer a few days ago so I feel I should keep things less stressful for him.

Legal Q: How high is the likelihood we might have to pay for our lawyer's billable hours if we withdraw the suit (e.g. if mom gets too stressed or tired) and the coverage is capped at 100k?

Thank you all in advance for your constructive comments.

I'm a retired health professional who has worked as a medical expert witness in personal injury. Six months ago, my mom tragically slipped and fell on black ice, fracturing her skull and requiring brain surgery. My sister and I have been her caregiver since then. We all live separately.

When mom was in acute care, my sister's husband looked into suing the company that owned the parking lot where she fell. Once mom moved to a rehab hospital, we all had a zoom call with the lawyer he'd been talking to for a month. From the call, it was obvious that my brother-in-law had not asked any right questions. He knew nothing, hadn't even reviewed the agreement but in his mind, he'd "done a lot of work". During the call, the lawyer asked for main contact. I knew my bil would want to be because he always wanted attention and praise and validation, but I couldn't let him.

I said to the lawyer and my bil (my sister had to leave with mom early) that because I have experience in the field, I can communicate with mom (he doesn't speak her language vice versa), and have been looking after her from day 1, I should be the main contact. bil said nothing. I emailed him afterward, thanking him for his initiative and efforts.

Shortly after reading the agreement, my husband and I decided that all the liability (lawyer costs, both opponent and our side, expenses) fell on us. If went to trial and lost, it would be a six digit cost. We also wondered why he hadn't mentioned the insurance they or we could buy to cover these costs. He seemed like a cookie cutter kinda guy so we looked around for other lawyers.

One lawyer who was very well reviewed and timely in his response and specializes in personal injury said their firm routine buys insurance on their dime to reduce the risk on both sides. He charges 5% more than the other and said our settlement would be a six figure. I sent the agreement to my sister and bil and explained the pros of going with this lawyer.

Then my bil went on a smear campaign, saying he wants nothing to do with this and that i snatched away his role when he put all the effort into it. He also claimed that his lawyer said he could settle for 450k. I told him his lawyer said 145k. The lawyer confirmed and said 145-450k. My bil texted my husband, said we can be liable for everything, that if anything went wrong, he wouldn't pitch in a dime. I have experience in the field so i said whatever, that's all bs. But my sister is taking his side, saying she doesn't feel comfortable with the lawsuit becasue of what her husband said.

Mind you, he's the one who rented his condo when the tenant showed 0 credit report. He's the one who's not allowed to see a doctor on his own because he asks no questions. He's always trying to please people except his own family. My husband said he doesn't feel comfortable anymore and is inclined to let the bil do whatever he wants. But when I think about my mom and the financial costs of caring for her in the future, I feel like I need to make sure it's done right.

Even with insurance, there are risks. We are covered up to 100k by insurance company and still responsible for our lawyer's billable hours which can be up to 50k per year.

Should I take care of the lawsuit or hand it over to my bil to keep peace in the family? My husband was also diagnosed with cancer a few days ago so I feel I should keep things less stressful for him. What should I do?

Thank you all in advance for your productive comments.

Kleypas was one of the authors that got me started reading HR along with Julia Quinn and Mary Balogh. So when I heard she was updating her books to replace non-con and dub con, I had mixed feelings.

I haven’t read the new editions of SECRETS OF A SUMMER NIGHT or IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT so I’m curious. Are they better or worse or just different? Did it impact your enjoyment of the story?

But the bigger question is, do you think authors should update their books to reflect 1) their own values IRL 2) the current sentiments 3) they should do whatever they want. It’s their book.

I have mixed feelings about it but if a renaissance painter wanted to update their paintings, I’d think that was crazy.

I’m all for consent. I understand that there are situations where the MCs need to check with each other, especially if she believes babies are delivered by storks. I’m ok with the MCs asking once. “Do you want this? / Yes, take me”. What I don’t like is “Are you ready? / yes / are you sure? / yes, she is sure. U deaf?” Then he checks again in the middle of the scene. “Are you alright?” Yes! She’s moaning and calling your name. What more do you need? I know what authors are trying to do and it’s well meaning and all that, but for the most part, it’s not women who need to be educated about consent. And even if it were, i think counting on our fictional mc to read her body language is not too far fetched. Interrupting the scene for the third time to ask kills the mood, imo. Am I being grumpy or anyone else feel this way?