u/kiek0h

Demographic: Female Asian; Highly competitive public school in California

Interested Major: Biology

Interested Schools: UC (UCI, UCSD, UCB, UCLA) if not CC then transfer

GPA lwk kinda cooked compared to my high school with everyone having a 3.9+ UW with my 3.7

So i got a B my first semester in spanish ik im really bad with languages it's not funny and then def getting a B this semester and have a possible of getting a B in english (english cambridge AS). IDK what to do I plan on trying to get a 4.0 my junior year and locking the hell in to balance my gpa and show an "upwards trend" even though lwk im showing a downwards trend rn...... is there still a possible a decent (not perhaps or rarely)

lwk im thinking bout getting a crap ton of credit enough for a year+ go to a CC then transfer in a year or less but tbh my school is super competitive and my ego is telling me no if u do that then your a suck compared to your school (ik cc is a great option)

I think the fact i had a bunch of stuff going on like actually joining clubs this year and not being a literal bum like my freshman year and im really bad at language like i said bef

Extracurriculars include:

- Red Cross Club Secretary (VP junior yr)

- Ink Club: Artist made 2 picture books for little kids (Director of Illustrators junior yr)

- Started Volunteer at a Clinic

- Varsity Goalie Waterpolo

- Art Social Media (90+ subs not that big but is a passion project)

- Total of 99 Volunteer Hrs this yr

Other stuff:

- Program at my school Candidate

- Cambridge AICE Diploma Candidate

So i got a B my first semester in spanish ik im really bad with languages it's not funny and then def getting a B this semester and have a possible of getting a B in english (english cambridge AS). IDK what to do I plan on trying to get a 4.0 my junior year and locking the hell in to balance my gpa and show an "upwards trend" even though lwk im showing a downwards trend rn...... am i still in the range for a good UC

So i got a B my first semester in spanish ik im really bad with languages it's not funny and then def getting a B this semester and have a possible of getting a B in english (english cambridge AS). IDK what to do I plan on trying to get a 4.0 my junior year and locking the hell in to balance my gpa and show an "upwards trend" even though lwk im showing a downwards trend rn...... is there still a possible a decent (not perhaps or rarely)

lwk im thinking bout getting a crap ton of credit enough for a year+ go to a CC then transfer in a year or less but tbh my school is super competitive and my ego is telling me no if u do that then your a suck compared to your school (ik cc is a great option)

I've been struggling with this (i'm not sure if this is recent or if I've always felt this way) and I think it's due to my low self esteem (but I'm not sure what the root of my low self esteem is, if anyone has advice of that that would be great).

I'll get jealous of my friends achievements like getting an A or higher grade than me, they are better at my sport (position) than me, etc. And Ik this is a bad way of thinking feeling jealous of my friends to the point where I lwk resent them and myself for it, like I'll be like why did they get that thing or why didn't I do as good as them, etc. And it's not that completive type of thing where, I'm gonna do better next time kinda thing.

Kind deep down Ik this feeling is wrong and I shouldn't be feeling this way because I should be proud of my friend's achievements, but I don't and end up feeling resentment.

Additionally I feel jealous when my friend's become closer with other people that me specifically my best friends. Like I'm friend's with both of these people and one of them I'm a lot closer with and she and my best friend feel a lot closer than my relationship with me and her (my best friend). Like I don't wanna lose her and personally i feel that I don't have a lot of best friends in general so I feel kinda hurt when she is a lot closer to someone else.

I've notice that people like don't respond to my text in a group chat but will respond when I reach out directly, like they'll have a complete conversation just ignoring my text. Or when I text a question the conversation or smth stop and I'm like guy's you had a conversation like a min ago and you can't respond with a simple sry can't or whatever.

Additionally I feel that all my friends have a gc that is highly active and all the ones I'm in literally no one talks. Idk if I'm not a very charismatic person (pretty sure I'm not tho so makes sense) or am a bad friend, etc.

I think it's a honeymoon type thing where I have my friend group in which there are people I've known for a while and am pretty secure with them. But I end up becoming friends with other people who I wanna hangout with, similar interest, etc and being a bad friend to my other friends who have been with me for a long time. Most of the time I end up having a falling out or we aren't as close at the end of the year so ditching my friends to hang out with a new friend entirely is dumb and looks poorly on me.

I'm still in school right now so it's kinda difficult to have a stable friendship unless I hang out with them out of school (lwk don't got time tho), in my classes, during breaks, or sports. I wanna have other friends than my main friend group where we have a secure and stable bond but don't wanna ditch my friend and ik this is a bad thing to do but end up doing it anyway. It might be a maturity thing, etc. But if you guys have any advice that would be great!!! (ik this is lwk confusing.... and somewhat dumb but I actually need advice thx)

This has happened a couple times. The first time she was new to my school and I ended up become friends with her and it was great. But then at some point she kinda ditched me and ended up being friends with someone else in my friend group (This was when I was younger and I lwk ditched my friends to become friends with this person and it came to bite me back so i didn't really introduce this friend to my friend group)

The second time was when I met someone she was new to my club for my sport and we became good friends. But then she ended up becoming closer to other people at my club and now I feel lost. This has happened multiple time and I'm not sure if I'm the problem, its some honeymoon phase thing, etc. Thanks!!!