u/kirahdot

eu ando tendo uns pensamentos sobre meus níveis de testo,na teoria estão bons mas eu realmente não tenho certeza por que por mais que eu tenha uma boa quantidade de massa muscular pesando 90kg eu tinha feito um teste de testosterona mas no tempo eu estava sedentario demais,tinha parado de treinar fui fazer o exame e deu algo em torno de 800ng/dl e 19,alguma coisa de testo livre com valor referencial de 21,eu não cresço barba alguma mesmo tendo 22 anos e meu bigode é ralo,só tenho muitos pelos que vão do final da barriga até o final das pernas,muitos mesmo,mas da cintura pra cima sou zerado

eu acho que tipo se alguém olhar pra mim ela não diria que eu tenho a testosterona "alta",eu pareço um jovem normal e diria que pareço até mais jovem que minha idade

tipo,eu digo isso tudo por que por mais que pareça eu sinto que realmente não tenho confiança sobre meus niveis de testosterona,queria parecer mais masculino,com a barba cheia e etc

eu sou forte na academia eu acho,levanto 40kg cada lado no agachamento e 32kg cada lado no supino,até chego a zerar as maquinas de costas da academia de bairro deve ter sei lá uns 80kg,mas eu queria saber real,por que mesmo meus níveis estando acima da média,eu tendo uma força relativamente boa e um shape "mediano" (meio fordo) eu ainda sou insatisfeito e encucado com esse negocio de niveis de testosterona,é realmente algo importante? se eles fossem maior teriam alguma diferença no meu físico,aparência e auto estima ou é só bobeira da minha cabeça e no fim é tudo genética?

eu me sinto muito culpado quando eu falto na academia,me da um peso na consciencia sei lá

segunda feira eu faltei na academia por causa do jogo do brasil,nem tinha como ir por que ela fecha no dia por causa do jogo,ai terça feira eu perdi o horario por que eu tava assistindo o resto dos outros jogos de noite sei lá sou otário e agora quarta eu sai de casa por que me chamaram pra comer num lugar que era um buffetzão que tu come a vontade,papo serio eu bati 2 prato ENORME mano tava muito bom,ainda mais que eu to tentando ganhar peso (eu peso 90kg com 1.90cm) ai é foda ganhar peso então toda oportunidade que eu tenho de comer eu como pra krl mesmo

o resultado foi que eu comi tanto que bateu aquela sonolencia pós refeiçao pesadona e eu não consegui aguentar e falei que ia bater só uma sonequinha,resultado foi que eu perdi total o horario e agora faltei o treino pela terceira vez seguida,papo de se mata pprt..

i am 22 years old,i live in brazil and i am currently in one of the hardest moments of my life,and i can't make a choice,and i fear that any choice i make i'll probably regret it.

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I am currently studying law on a private university where i don't pay a single cent,and that is because i have a complete 100% scholarship due to my good grades on the national exam for universitys,thats ironic due to the fact that i had no idea what i wanted to do with my life and i passed with an amazing grade on a fuck ton of different universitys and different graduations

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i have a problem with focus,concentration maintaining routines and a lot of stuff,recently i was doing (professional with actual examination and tests and stuff from actual reliable sources) autism and ADHD tests,and i didn't get the results back yet but i was really trying to finish it quick because i knew i don't have much time until i lose my scholarship due to bad attendance and declining grades,even the person that was evaluating my case said that i have most likely moderate to severe adhd and the funny thing is that from all the days of the week i have almost complete attendance except for a single day of the week that i failed due to almost no attendance,and i think that is due to the fact that i tend to use that day to "rest my mind" from the exaustion of waking up every day in the morning going to college and having to endure like 6 hours of boring classes that i actually dont like at all

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i actually think i am smart,i really do,the problem is that i tend to procrastinate A LOT,and for some reason my brain literally only works for the most useless shit ever,and i learn things that i only enjoy and things that i find boring i can't learn whatsoever and that really fucks me up,i have been having problems with jobs for all my life,i have been fired from more than 6 jobs and i am currently trying to get hired for another one,its so exausting for me to even manage to keep college and a proper job without fucking up any of them

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the thing is that i am in a stage in my life that i am scared to make a choice,or i lose my friends and my college life to start a job minimum wage because i cannot keep on college or i start studying to another type of graduate and try to find some type of stuff that i like or i can change to another major and try to graduate with something else,because i can keep my scholarship that way,im scared that if i just give up on college and focus on trying to find jobs i will keep on getting fired like i always do i just don't know what to do man,honestly i am better at learning things myself like i do but the problem is that i just learn the most useless type of shit that will never get me a job,like a little bit of computer stuff,i learned english by myself,taught myself how to play piano,guitar,i know a lot about the gym and anatomy and video games cinema and stuff but what job can i even get with that stuff,its almost useless

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as of today i live only with my grandma,my dad is deceased,so is my mother and my grandpa,my two sisters live together in rio de janeiro and im considering moving to live with them if everything goes wrong in my life

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i just dont know what to do,i think i should have things figured out by now but i have no idea,really,im a about to fail college inevitably and i dont know what step to take next,a full time job is the most reasonable option im thinking for now...