u/kissaphobic-ftm

Please don't come into the comments calling me an idiot or a ret*rd or anything, I get enough of it as is. Looking for actual helpful advice and/or reassurance, thank you.

I'm a current freshman rising sophomore, MVB and ENS dual major, and my GPA is absolutely fucking cooked. I am passing 3 out of my 6 courses, and that 3 includes SBU 102 which is a given and my chem lab. Failing calc 1, gen chem 2, and what was supposed to be an easy A geo 102 course considering I've taken earth science before. I GPNC'd my calc course but the other two are still an issue.

I was fine first semester, I had a 3.2 GPA and got solid B+'s, which isn't like *amazing* but I was at least okay with it. I'm afraid my GPA is like a 2 or lower now and I'm freaking tf out. I'm usually a decent student, but I am physically disabled and have a ton of mental health issues. I ended up feeling like utter shit this entire semester and honestly considered dropping out or taking medical leave the entire time. I've been so stressed that it's skyrocketed my blood pressure and I ended up in the hospital. I've barely been eating and I feel like I need 12+ hours of sleep just to feel well rested so I gave up on the classes I was failing a while back and now I sleep for half the day or more. Plus I'm in a shit ton of physical pain all the time on top of that, which has been worsening by the day. I feel like a failure and a disgrace and like I don't even deserve to be here.

Does it get better? Is my career doomed? Is there anyone else out there who's struggling as bad right now? Please tell me I'm not alone in this. I desperately need help.