u/koskam99p

Feedback Needed:

Hi everyone! I’m a beginner writer sharing the first draft of my script. Since English is not my native language and this is my first complete draft, I’m looking for general thoughts, constructive criticism, and advice.

I’m particularly interested in feedback on:

Character dynamics and emotional tension

Dialogue naturalness and flow

Pacing and overall story structure

I’m not looking to do a script swap at the moment, but any notes from experienced readers or fellow writers would mean the world to me. Thank you for your time!

Ps.

Before anyone says it's AI, it's not. I use scenario for writing and it automatically numbers my scenes.

[effacé]

Hey everyone!

I've written a short, 1.5-page dramatic scene and I’d love to get some honest feedback on it.

Logline: A hopeful young man visits his secret partner, only to be confronted with the painful reality of addiction and emotional detachment.

What I’m specifically looking for:

Does the tension and shift in dynamics between the two characters land well?

Does the dialogue sound natural?

Is the visual ending effective?

Any constructive criticism is welcome! Thanks for reading.