u/kreuzzzzz

My main hairline doesn't look proper receded from 4 years ago but I have noticed baby hairs I used to have around it miniaturized and are barely there now. I had a hairdresser in January tell me I looked like I was thinning on one of my temples and I dismissed it because I've always had thinner hair around there but now I'm taking it seriously and I think I've caught MPB at a early stage. I am taking TRT at the moment and have not dialed in levels properly yet (getting blood test in a couple days) but I want to get on this ASAP at a low dose. Does anyone here have experience taking 0.5 MWF as that is what I'm looking to start with. Also im 27

I'm almost 27 and been on T since 18, ID'd as trans since 12 and have nothing but regrets at this point. I had top surgery in 2022 and it was traumatic since my surgeon fucked me over with post op care and I had delayed healing in 1 nipple, it doesn't look right and I want a revision on it. Now I'm having nervous breakdowns about my hairline since I've noticed miniaturized hairs on my temple (always had baby hairs around there but I'm worried these might be falling out) and even though it looks the same as it did 3 years ago I'm still panicking over the future and debating whether to start DHT blockers or cease testosterone. I want to stay on T for muscle builiding and maintenence and because I can't 'go back' and ever be read as female again but I'm so scared of reacting badly to hair loss meds and fucking myself up further. I haven't been able to sleep in 2 days over it. My skin is royally fucked up at the moment since I used a bunch of harsh acne treatments since I had a bad T dose causing crazy amounts of acne and I damaged my barrier to the point it looks mottled, it's getting better month by month and doesn't look like there's actual scarring but I've been a shut in for years now. I have zero dating life and never had sex or kissed because I was always waiting & I have goals to force myself out there next year because I want a boyfriend (bisexual but prefer guys, prob wouldnt have transitioned if i wasnt since i think i have some sexual inversion thing where i wanted to be a type of guy im attracted to) All in all transitioning hasn't fixed shit it's just made me feel ugly as fuck and like a freak. I have severe OCD, BDD + AuDHD & I feel like a fucking idiot for going down this route when I could have just sucked it up and been a hypermasculine woman, i felt so ashamed of being female I tried to conceal my sex and looking back on it It all happened after I had a traumatic experience at my primary school graduation where adults scorned me for showing up in mens clothes, doesn't sound like much and I rejected the idea i had trauma over it but my parents noticed my behavior change overnight after that. I dont know who to talk to about this irl I have a psychologist appointment next month but really i feel I need some kind of outpatient care or something. I feel like im suffocating and I can't stop crying. Its 2am and I can't sleep over this shit. my hormones are all fucked up right now too since I'm DIYing testosterone to try and give myself a more optimal dose to stop acne & I'm on my 11th week on it and still having menstrual cycles from adjustment (public health in my country doesnt offer T in vials only prepackaged, so i had to buy my own from the underground market. I'm injecting 3-times a week). my options now are either continue with transition and get on a DHT blocker asap as a preventative for any potential balding or stop T altogether and live life as a feminized looking guy, and give up on my dreams of being ripped & probably feel like shit either way. I self harmed a lot in high school too and this feels like the ultimate act of self harm i can't hide. To top this all off I developed a fucking detrans/misgender kink about a year after surgery and started wishing I had a bf who would treat me like a woman in bed along with getting off to lesbian sex fantasies and wishing I had breasts again purely for sexual reasons. Dont know if I even wouldve liked having them played with. I had a tuberous deformity so I wouldve felt fucked up about them even if I didn't transition but at least they were a part of me. I look at old pictures of me pre puberty and feel like crying cos i wonder wtf went wrong & I looked so normal, and pre-T I had this androgynous bishie thing coz I had an emo haircut to hide my face going on and a lot of girls liked me. I genuinely feel like a fucking monster now and unlovable even though ive been told im handsome. Im grieving who i was so much I can't believe i actually went through with all this shit its like chasing a fucking dragon. I can't believe i thought living as a masculine woman or just a woman period was impossible. I live inside my own head a lot and am a chronic daydreamer too and would jst do that 24/7 to escape from my shitty ass life back as a teen and i still do it now. its hard to break out of & I'm unemployed and on disability and only now trying to start a career path through online college but i cant even focus on that. I want to start living so bad. I barely have friends too just 2 others and none of us are doing well. If anyone here's in Sydney hit me up because i'm fucking lonely. Transitioning has made me jaded as fuck too for meeting new people since they treat me as one of the guys & I know they would treat me differently if they knew and a lot of them prob would straight up dislike me coz they're sexist/homophobic/conservative and don't like GNC women or women who step out of line or whatever.

I want to know your dosage/protocol and what side effects you've experienced (if any), and whether it has maintained or stopped your hair loss.

I've been on T since 2018 and so far zero change to my hairline. Or so I thought. I've noticed I had a few light stray baby hairs closer to my forehead disappear a few years back and its made me paranoid. MPB runs rampant in my family and only my maternal grandpa was spared so the odds are against me, and having my hairline change at all would fuck with my mental health bad but so would stopping T so I want to take preventative measures because I know me not doing anything is playing with fire