17yrs of lonlyness is killing me
I feel broken and lonely.
Since childhood, I've never really had friends. Even when I did, they never truly cared about me—they treated me like I was just there to make everyone laugh.
I never got the love or support I needed from my family either.
Then I fell deeply in love with a girl, but she loved someone else. I still haven't completely moved on.
Even now, I don't have any close friends—male or female. Whenever I try to find a relationship, people seem to judge me by my skin color and my face instead of getting to know who I am.
I earn my own money. I know how to cook. Sometimes it feels like I've gone through experiences that many people don't face until they're in their late twenties or thirties, even though I'm only 17.
I don't know what to do anymore. I'm exhausted, and lately I've been having suicidal thoughts.