u/kyybby

Hi! This may be worded strangely but I had a baby in May and ever since then, the creases before my thighs start are dark and the whole area between along with my butt.

Is there anything I can take or do to lighten these areas without causing harm, or do I just live with it? I’m a pale person, can’t tan, any hyperpigmentation is very noticeable and I haven’t ever been this dark down there before.

My routine is small, I don’t really do much. I use Dr. Bronner’s peppermint wash on my body, Dove sensitive bar soap around my intimate areas. I use a wash cloth on my body and my hands to lather below. I use Nivea Soft after showering and occasionally coconut oil after. I don’t take any vitamins currently. Unsure if it’s relevant but I shave using oil & men’s razors. I mostly wear boyshort panties. I don’t wear anything lacy. I don’t know has caused the darkening, maybe it’s just part of having a baby, still want to lighten if I can.

Side note: I only got the big thing of Dr. Bronner’s because it helped cool where I was still hurting postpartum so I’m just finishing out the bottle and getting a different wash; recommendations appreciated for this also. I don’t like anything scented too sweet if that makes sense, like anything marketed for teens. Not a fan of creamy thick soaps, I like something that lathers really well and feels fresh, I like citrusy - flowery - gourmand - woody - feminine scents.

Thanks!

Hi! (sorry in advance this post is repetitive, long, and unrevised)

We have wonderful neighbors, we are very lucky to live around such good people, and the only neighbor I have a negative opinion about lives behind us.

We’ll say her name is Lucy. We’ve lived here 2.5 years, we take our trash out behind our backyard in the “back alley”. Across the “back alley” is where Lucy lives.

For the first half that we lived here, Lucy and I were very friendly and talked every time I took the trash out or was in our backyard for a good while. I’m not a big people person so I’m usually not the person striking up a conversation, Lucy never had an issue being the one to say hi. We have a shed in the backyard with all of my husband’s tools. We were in the middle of house renovating and my husband would also be around the back alley a lot getting his tools and throwing out old wall paneling etc., so naturally him and Lucy struck up neighborly conversation just like her and I did.

I never thought anything of them talking to each other whatsoever because it’s totally normal, and she talked to me too. I got pregnant with our first child in August 2025, and Lucy talked about everything with me anytime I was outside. I’m a big people pleaser and never said anything off to her.

I had my baby in May, while I was in the hospital I trusted Lucy enough to even come into my house and take care of my dog. When baby arrived, Lucy met her and asked how I’m doing and everything was good. Ever since then Lucy has completely stopped talking to me. I still go outside to take the trash a lot or go to the shed for things, she avoids looking at me and I’ll even stare to try to wait for her eye contact so that I can wave at her. I’ve even said hi and she’s very short with me and just says hey.

Her and my husband still talk every single day. Every single time he goes outside they have a 30+ minute conversation to the point where he has said he avoids going outside. Out of everyday that I’ve been outside, she won’t even make eye contact with me or continue a conversation.

When her and I did talk, it was very friendly but nothing about her relationships or anything like that. Before I got pregnant, she had a boyfriend named Matt. Matt talked to my husband sometimes. Her and Matt ended up breaking up, and me and Lucy were still talking at this point, but she didn’t mention it to me.

Whenever they were dating she would complain about Matt to my husband but never to me. She talked about how he annoyed her and she was thinking about breaking up with him. She would only ever tell this stuff to my husband, never mentioned her relationship issues with him to me. She told my husband about them breaking up, talked about how Matt was still emailing her and trying to come to her house. She went out of her way to describe how obsessed with her he was. Again, never brought up to me even though her and I still talked during this time but I brushed it off.

She was constantly telling him about her personal issues and drama with men. All because he goes to take the trash out or get tools out. He doesn’t strike up conversation with her.

Lucy does yard sales every weekend in her yard as her job, and we only have off street parking, but she knew where my spot was. Every weekend, she started parking in my spot right behind my husband’s truck to make room for her customers. In front of my house. I would literally have nowhere around my house to park because she would take my spot and we live at the stop sign so I can’t park right in front of the stop sign. Our houses are pretty separate and she stopped parking in front of her own house and took my spot instead. She also brags to him about how much money she made from each yard sale and all of it just makes me feel like she is trying to impress him.

Since then, I just stopped parking there because I was tired of not knowing when I would be able to or not.

When I was pregnant, she constantly talked to me about the pregnancy and things of that nature, we were good. After my pregnancy, she met baby, we were good. Now anytime I’m outside with baby or even by myself she wants nothing to do with me.

Anytime my husband is outside with baby she goes out of her way to talk to him, and when he is by himself. She also has always asked for his help with moving pallets for her yard sale a LOT, which was cool until it started getting in the way of things I needed from him because she would keep him outside for so long.

Anytime I go outside while they are talking (I don’t do it intentionally) she finishes up the conversation with him. She got a new boyfriend recently and he looks JUST LIKE MY HUSBAND. Which I know sounds stupid but same figure, same style tattoos, same hair, everything but just a different face.

I made a point to my husband that, what if I went towards her house and started talking to her boyfriend but ignored her? It would be weird, right?

I am so sick of him being outside talking to her for 30+ minutes while I actively need help with something. She completely ignores my existence even when I try to get her attention but talks to my husband about her boy issues, personal drama, her kids etc. It is just odd to me, and I feel crazy like maybe I am the problem.

I could add more but this post is already long and I’m busy ATM. It is just driving me crazy. It is EVERY single day, multiple times per day.

I don’t have a specific topic to rant about. I just hate scrolling social media and I can’t do it anymore. I have to delete all of my accounts. I just had my first baby in May, and before I had her, I was always a very nonchalant and hard-to-connect-with kind of person. I usually have never been emotional, and that in itself always made me emotional.

That probably won’t make sense to anyone, but in other words, I’ve always been insecure about how I’m not an “emotional” person and my lack of ability connect with things and people. It has always made me feel like a horrible person. I’ve always beat myself up and I’ve always had intrusive thoughts. I look “normal”, but I believe people are disheartened when they spark up a conversation with me. I have always been really detached if that makes sense. Totally going through a 5AM rabbit hole with a sleeping baby on my arm.

A lot of things that bothered “normal” people never bothered me. I didn’t feel badly about horrible situations and I had lackluster opinions. I observe things and people and don’t talk, and stay out of it.

Something changed when I had my baby. Every time I log onto Instagram, Facebook, anything, I see horrible things that just hurt me so badly. I cry when I see children with deformities, war rubble and aftermath, hurt animals, any kind of bad news, etc.. Bad things in general that are really truly happening. And of course it’s normal to have an emotional response to these things but lately I can literally feel it in my bones and soul and it hurts. I feel like the internet is so desensitizing, it was always easy to scroll past and not give a second thought - but these situations could happen to any of us at any moment.

I feel so horrible for people going through bad things. I hate that people feel sad or upset or alone. Hate that people are having to choose what they have to live without for the month/which bill they can pay. I hate that children are being hurt or hungry or not getting proper education and in a second if I turn away that could be my baby. It hurts that there are children somewhere right now as I type this being hurt. And animals. It hurts that people are so cruel and bad and ruining others’ small businesses and killing each other. Hurts that people are hurting so badly that they kill themselves. A lot of women who would be amazing mothers lose their poor babies before they ever get to even meet them. Teachers and family members are constantly molesting their children. Animals constantly tortured by us and their homes destroyed. Babies are born with deformities that require surgeries that aren’t affordable. Cops in my area have been caught distributing child content. Food is poison and my daughter is going to grow up in a shit world. Everything hurts and there’s never any good news anymore. I never felt strongly about anything but now that I have I really cannot do it anymore. Something about me changed and it just makes me cry and just feels too horrible to keep watching and casually scrolling like this stuff isn’t a big deal. It feels morbid that I can watch it and scroll and forget about it but it’s genuinely something happening and I can’t help. Things as simple as someone not being able to drive to work. Or someone who just keeps getting rode hard by life all at once.

I know it all sounds naive and “no shit this all sucks and happens everyday” or “chick has baby and experiences human emotion” lol and of course I felt bad before but I just feel sick. Mentally I am sick seeing posts or videos and I think it is probably best that I just delete my accounts. I love my family and my friends and I wish the best for everyone. Life is just so unkind, mostly to people who don’t deserve it and it’s all overwhelming.