u/labubushwick

straight people have more of a "path" or relationship ladder than we do. a number of my (older) straight friends are getting married and it's making me feel weird because i know that, if i were straight (especially being raised in a very religious background), that i'd be married by now. i also don't love how some straight people use the institution of marriage to delegitimize lesbian relationships either. a lesbian couple that's been together for 5 years is absolutely more serious than a married straight couple that's known each other for a year. nonetheless, part of me feels like i'm falling behind when my friends are getting married and i'm still single.

and are you more butch or femme? as a young lesbian (like when i was 11), i was very set on adopting a kid, but even then my identity was never focused around one day being a mother. the older i get, the more i want a kid, but adoption doesn't really seem feasible now due to the wait and the costs involved. i can't get my mind around carrying a child myself though personally, it's always been too body-horror-y for me. my personal autonomy is very important to me. i'm more femme so i've run into more of an expectation that i would be the one carrying the child. i went on a few dates with a futch/butch a while back though who was very open to carrying a kid, which was surprising to me. but my friend's butch wife is very averse to carrying a kid because it would cause gender dysphoria for her. is there a correlation between wanting a kid (and wanting/being willing to carrying a child specifically) and butch or femme-ness?

i'm in my mid-20s with cptsd and i'm not where i thought i would be in life. i did intense degrees and certifications only to end up in an obnoxiously stressful, low-paid position with a long commute. (at least i get insurance and benefits.) i used to see my best friend several times a week. i've been trying to meet up with them for almost a month now but they keep pushing the date back :( i accidentally ran into them recently but there were no words exchanged between us. i didn't know what to say to them in that moment, and it wasn't the right place for the long conversation i wanted us to have. a small part of me wants to buy into the comphet and tradwife stuff and get into a relationship with a random dude because i would finally have someone to rely on and center in my life, but part of me is scared to get into any relationship in general because i know i'm in a vulnerable place in life, and i don't want to rely on someone who ends up being abusive. i don't talk to my family at all because they're quite mentally ill and abusive and any sort of interaction with them instantly plummets my mental health. i'm quite a self-reliant person in general but life sometimes reminds me that i need other people. and i try to form relationships and friendships with other people but seem to struggle to get close to them. i had to move some furniture the other week and asked my many roommates for help. (all no's). realized i had no friends to call to help me with this stuff. tried to do it myself and was able to, but ended up pulling a muscle in the process which took like a week to heal. it's hard to be hopeful for the future. i feel like all my effort has gone to nothing. i feel like such a loser. i'm supposed to go on some meds in a few weeks that will hopefully help me feel a bit better. but the circumstances of my life would still suck. anyone have similar experiences and have their life get better? or any words of wisdom

how often do you guys have a crush on someone? not just thinking someone's cute but actually yearning for someone. i haven't had a crush on a girl in like 2 years. i've gone out on dates and thought girls were cute but the yearning + fantasizing component of crushes that makes them so lovely has been missing for a bit. wondering if it's just a me thing or if others experience this too. maybe it's just because i'm older now, even though i really don't want to have outgrown the "having crushes" part of my life, if it is indeed a stage.

tired of straight love stories, want to hear some lesbian meet cutes 💞

Looking for obnoxious but tasteful lesbian wall art that will make straight friends visiting my apartment raise an eyebrow and think to themselves "wait, is she gay?" Straight women and gay men seem to have monopolized cheeky art that celebrates the female and male form respectively. Straight women have their female torso candles and their boobie art. I saw a gay man with a sweater custom embroidered with two dudes jerking each other off. Lesbians could never. I have a hat I got from a lesbian bar that I used to come out to some of my friends who were being too straight but I am looking for more subtle. Like yes I could wear a millennial-coded "WNBGay" hat but I am looking for more artful. My walls are bare and waiting to be decorated. Thank you for your recommendations.