u/ladyofhonor

I just need to vent this somewhere because I spent most of the day sitting in my kitchen crying and overthinking and I feel I genuinely can’t breathe.

I’ve been a single mom since my daughter Ainsley (f8) was born. Her biological dad has never been in the picture, so it has always just been the two of us. But six years ago, my best friend Olive (f29) moved into our apartment complex, and her and Ainsley became inseparable. Over the years, she became family even more than she already was. She was there for every birthday, helped me pick my daughter up from school when I had to work late, and was the best coparent in every way that mattered. My daughter loves her just as much as she loves me.

Last week, we got into an argument over her boyfriend who I have NEVER liked. He is creepy, arrogant, inconsiderate, and honestly someone I’ve been trying to shield my daughter from. I have been expressing my wishes for a long time to not have him around while I am not home and for the most part, she has always respected my wishes. Last week, however, she decided to bring him over without my permission or any notice while watching my daughter, and he was there for hours which I would have never known if Ainsley had never informed me. I sat her down after getting back from work and was trying to explain why this upset me, and after she got upset with me for one of the first times since we became friends. Long story short, she ended up storming out and I left it alone because I felt giving her time was best. I thought she would get over it but I was wrong.

Instead, she showed up while I was at work yesterday, used her spare key, and packed up every single thing she owned from our place. She left her key on the counter with a note saying she is "done being taken for granted" and that she needs to focus on her own life now. She blocked my number, blocked me on social media, and completely disappeared. Six years of building a life together, completely erased over a disagreement.

I am so angry, hurt, and a whole lot of other feelings I can’t explain but what hurts the most is my daughter. She kept asking tonight why Olive’s pictures were gone and when she was coming over to watch movies. I had to sit there and lie to my kid because how do I explain to a child that someone who helped raise her just abandoned her?!

I feel so incredibly guilty for letting someone get that close to my kid just for them to pull the rug out from under us. I’ve been taking it very slow letting people into our lives and dating again just because of how the bio father of my daughter decided not to be in her life. I’m exhausted and heartbroken and I don’t know how to move forward.

I am genuinely at my wits end and need to know if I’m being unreasonable here because I am being treated like a monster.

So my fiancé Angel (27m) and I (26f) are getting married in September. We found a gorgeous, historic indoor venue that has super strict rules about liability, damage, etc.

Now we have his sister, Marisol (23f). Mari is a major animal lover (honestly an understatement) and breeds bearded dragons and geckos. Last week she claimed that she has severe social anxiety and that her reptiles are there for emotional support. This was after she RSVP’d to the wedding and added a note saying she’ll be bringing 5 of her lizards with her and that she plans to wear them on her shoulders during the reception to keep her calm.

I told her as gently as possible that the venue has a strict no pets policy unless it’s a licensed service dog. I also pointed out that having lizards out at a catered event where people are eating might make some guests uncomfortable and also not be safest for them.

Mari completely flipped out. She said I’m incredibly ableist and dismissing her mental health. She told Angel that if her babies aren't welcome, she won't be there. Now my future mother in law is calling me, saying I'm being difficult for no reason and that I should just hide the lizards under a table so the venue coordinators don't see them, then proceeding to call me a bitch after I stood my ground. Angel is caught in the middle and keeps asking if we can just compromise to keep the peace, basically trying not to pick sides which I felt a little upset about considering in this situation I felt he should have my back.

I feel like asking for the rules of the venue to be followed for my wedding isn't a massive request, but they are making me feel like a total bridezilla and I don’t know what to do. Any advice helps 🩷

Excuse any bad grammar or spelling I rushed through this as I’m about to head out of my house.