u/lea_flamingo

Hello everyone!

I just got diagnosed at 36 and looking back at my life and how I was obviously struggling but no one noticed is very sad.
I have a daughter turning 4 this month and I was wondering when should I seek out a diagnosis for her. What were your experiences with your own children ?

She just finished her first year of kindergarten and the teacher said everything is fine except for the daydreaming and inattentiveness... She didn't think anything of it but she definitely pointed it out to me like a big character trait. Minimal participation and very shy overall. At home, she can't sit still at the table, she can't lay still in bed until she's asleep, she gets very intensely emotional... All things that can be normal in a toddler but my brain is just going ding ding ding for ADHD. My mom has it, my grandma had it... My partner possibly has it too...

Am I over analysing ? Should I be proactive or should I wait and observe ?

Hello everybody !

I'm 36F, I was diagnosed recently and started medication. The only reason I got diagnosed is because I've been suspecting that my mom has ADHD for a few years now (my grandma too but she has passed away now) and suddenly began to recognise the symptoms in myself.

I finally convinced my mom to go see my psychiatrist but unfortunately he told her that he is not qualified to care for patients her age (70), he offered to still see her but she doesn't really see the point. She has been seing psychologists for several years now who have helped her a lot through the loss of her parents and her childhood trauma. She also has anxiety, possible depression and is on medication for hypertension. Spending time with my 4yo daughter is a big help in making her feel better when she is down.

She is an artist but her ADHD is preventing her from creating much anymore. She has a tendency to hoard, my parents' house is packed with so much stuff (my dad is not as bad but he's no help). She'll start collecting random stuff for a project and never do it but refuses to get rid of the stuff she collected... When my grand parents died on both sides, they kept so much of their furniture and objects and it's all at their place now. She keeps all the administrative papers because she's afraid of losing the important one but it's a mess and she can't find them anyway... I've tried to help her but she refuses to throw anything away, and it makes up both really mad and we fight.

I've been trying to educate her (and my dad) about what is ADHD and how it has affected her life, trying to make her feel less guilty. I really want to help her but I also see my own limitations (having ADHD myself I'm not super enthusiastic about cleaning and tidying and I hate it when I get mad at her and we fight).

I know her psychologist will look into ADHD to try and help her with that. She has tried to have the different psychologists she saw help her with the hoarding but I think they don't understand how bad it is. My parents don't have much money so she's been getting the free therapy from a senior center near where we live and I don't have much money or I would pay for it (although I doubt she would take my money).

I'm looking for any advice or if someone has gone through something similar, helping a parent with being neurodivergent, how did you go about it, were you able to help them in any way ?

I've just started meds for the first time a few days ago and I feel like my stims are much stronger/more visible or intense maybe ? I usually do very subtle stims with textures or small objects with the tips of my fingers and now I'm full on bouncing my legs, fidgeting with my hands and also the same ones as before but more intensely.

Does anyone experience that ? I feel like the meds make me feel much more attentive to what I'm doing so I may just be that ? I'm not sure but it does feel different.

Hello everybody !
I'm 36F, I've been wondering about having ADHD for a bit now...

I have been writing this message in my head in bed for weeks now.

It started with trying to help my mom with her mental health and wondering if she has it herself : 70F, struggling with so much stuff, being on time, losing her stuff, extremely sensitive to criticism, hoarding/very messy, very difficult for her to start doing things, definitely doing things that are not essential instead of very important things and then pulling an all nighter, skipping meals, nail biting, sound sensitivity, touch sensitivity, having trouble socialising but at the same time being very sociable...

I was doing well at work, or I thought I was, even though I was barely surviving while taking rhodiola rosea or other plants for stress and almost had a burn out untill I suddenly quit last october. After I quit my job of 7 years, I decided to change careers and get a diploma as a dietician... So now that I'm supposed to be studying on my own, I suddenly have remembered my years as a young adult, studying and how I thought there was something wrong with me because I couldn't, for the life of me, do the thing. It was extremely depressing watching myself not do what I was really passionate about and then inevitably fail. And even worse : not being able to explain why. So I did that for three diplomas, my driver's licence (twice and I still don't have it) and eventually had no more money and started working in a grocery store. It felt amazing to have no more pressure, I was not living up to my potential but I was not bored out of my mind sitting in front of a computer all day for the first time. Stimulation in every direction all the time.

I can remember countless times I showed up the wrong day, wrong time or wrong place for meetings, dates, appointments, exams... I lose my stuff, I cannot clean or tidy (the mess is real, however there is a system). I am always late and in a rush, I plan too much stuff and get overwhelmed fast. I stim almost all the time with my fingers.

As a child at school, I was always daydreaming, very quiet and easy (late to school because of my mom dropping me off late). Would forget about homework, do it last minute but overall good-ish grades (could do better). I was bullied a lot in junior high school for being weird, and after that I was always very awkward socially. Saying the wrong thing, understanding things wrong etc. I can't hear what people are saying even though I have tested my hearing and it's perfect.
Now, I'm just stuck. I don't do the things I want to do. I start doing stuff that doesn't matter, I doom scroll (I have had to delete youtube and instagram from my phone it was becoming really bad for my mental health). I forget to eat (or just can't get up to eat). PMS is horrible I can barely do anything I have zero motivation.

My boyfriend doesn't seem to believe me when I say I think I have ADHD, when I read the symptoms to him he says it sounds more like him (I mean maybe but that's not the point since I'm the one struggling right now).

I always felt different but thought maybe it was just a feeling everyone gets...

I would like to get assessed but all the psychiatrists that specialise in ADHD and that my health insurance covers are all overbooked and I can't get an appointment. And the procrastination is powerful.

If anyone has any insight it would be greatly appreciated. I'm afraid of going to a psychiatrist and him saying I don't have ADHD and feeling even more lost. I feel like I can't get anything right and I will never be able to do a job I love just because I can't get to the end of my studies. If a do get a diagnosis, would medication help me ? Should I start something with a psychologist while I wait ? I am out of a job and have no income, so that does not help my whole situation... Also, I live in France where ADHD is not super well known.