u/leaveamessage1

I’ve been thoroughly ghosted by this guy I was seeing for months, and without any response from him or acknowledging or explanation. To be so honest I’ve reached out multiple times, he hasn’t blocked me, and still follows me on IG but never views my stories
I checked today and saw a post of him out on a date with another girl. It’s been one week since me and him last talked. I tried everything.
I just want to text him one last time
But the worst part is knowing he won’t respond but there is a little part of me that hopes maybe this time he would be open to giving me some
Sort of closure. It just feels like if he cared about me at all he would give me some of that decency. But maybe the hard truth is that he does not care. At all.

I know that I need to go back to Therapy. Anyways, I got broken up with by a man that I considered the love of my life six months ago and of course, was looking for distractions in other people I ended up meeting a guy a few months after and we started something confusing, casual and situationship-esk.

Somewhere along the line I became pretty attached to him. it didn’t start out great, but it only got worse from there. It started to become just late late night visits at my place and that’s it. No dates, but we talked every day. He was always one of the first ones to look at my story. I became a little bit obsessive as I sometimes do with romantic interests.(working on it) sometime during our months of seeing each other. I noticed his frequent comments on another girls posts. Very romantic, flirty comments that she was responding to. One day He posted a story, and I looked at her story, and she was in the same place as him. I texted him about it and he denied everything and the next picture she posted was them together hugging with a bouquet of flowers. It was clear what was going on.

Obviously, he never got me Flowers never took me places anymore, but he would keep me hanging on with the bare minimum and empty promises. I confronted him about this and he denied everything. He ended up coming over and the conversation sort of came to an end At the conclusion of. He was dating both of us, and wanted to keep dating both of us casually, even though it was kind of clear to me, he was more serious about her, and I basically allowed it to happen. That night I also admitted that I am in love with him which of course he did not reciprocate and he actually said “it’ll pass”

Which definitely hurt but we kept seeing eachother and talking

Anyway, he was supposed to come over one night and he ended up “falling asleep” and never coming. He apologize for letting me down, but I hadn’t texted him the entire next day until I saw what he had posted on his story, and I kind of flipped out and lost my shit.

During our time seeing eachother he would sometimes spend a day or many days not talking to me but still viewing my stories and it started to really bug me so when he did not reach out to me I got in the habit of texting him and calling him too many times. It seemed like kind of a joke between us because he called me his “Nicky” and said he sort of enjoyed that I’m obsessed with him…..

But when I saw his story the day after he didn’t come that see me like he said he would, I texted and called him over and over and over again because I knew he was with her. He never responded. my last text that night was an apology for the spam.

The days after I sent a few texts and called a few times and still nothing. It’s been a week today that he ghosted me and never responded

It hurts so badly because he KNOWS how I feel about him. How he couldn’t just send a simple text or explain that he doesn’t wanna see me anymore. He didn’t even block my number or calls, which I don’t understand either, and he stopped looking at my Instagram stories, but still follows me. I kind of wish he would’ve just blocked me to be honest I don’t understand. Anything he does. But it’s been a week now and of course I haven’t reached out in anyway I’m not utterly insane lol. I get the hint it was just something I was used to doing with him anyways . It’s sad cuz he treated me like shit lied to me and I lost all sense of reason and sanity. I acted so weirdly about him and idk why. Maybe the constant give and take idk. I just really can’t believe he ghosted me. I know I should be the one to block him, but I really can’t. And I do really hope he reaches out one day. Even though I know for a fact, he won’t. We can’t come back from the fact that I was begging him in his texts, and he said nothing. After months of intimacy and talking. Idk I’m sad. But I know I shouldn’t be….

Well, I fucking hate your guts. Are u happy? I’m doing so much better without you. Was it worth it ? Today as I take the same walk that I’ve taken every day to become the version of myself that I want to be, that you would have wanted me to be. The last night I ever saw u plays around in my head. You WERE so smug. You WERE so sure. The words u used stung. You’d think that after two months they’d hurt less but today they hurt worse. In my mind,
I’m seeing u joke about the last corona in the fridge as if it’s so symbolic of our last moments together.
I see you telling me
“I warned you I’m an asshole”
As if that was supposed to translate to me that you were going to break my heart.

It’s such a weird feeling because without this and without u. I wouldn’t be becoming this beautiful and amazing version of myself.
I quit vaping.
I see that you haven’t
I quit being a pot head for the first time in my entire adult life. I’ve raised my standards done inner work made new genuine beautiful friendships
I’ve been brave, I’ve partied.
All the things I know you(the version of you I thought u were) would be proud of.
I’ve changed careers I’m in school I’ve advocated for myself.

None of those things did I do during our relationship
Thanks for the wake up call
Thanks for NOT loving me when I didn’t love myself.
But the problem is. You were supposed to.
You said you did.
That was not love.
I want to tell you M…. I am not wishing you well.
I hate you. And I hope nothing but negativity for you.
You broke my heart truly.
A pain I’ve never experienced, because I’ve never loved someone the way I did you.

For you to tell me …. Your girlfriend, of almost a year that you were just leading me on and that you have matured enough to just end it.
You equated me to just another girl that u have dated and dumped.
Mind you, you have a son.
You left him too. And you left her too.
How could I matter how can anyone matter to you.

Any ways M. I’m doing so much fucking better without you. I hate your guts and I’m taking ur career and going to do better than you. I hope ur so so so so so happy and sure with ur choice now.
Yes I’m bitter.