u/lemon-mae

I don’t meet the demands of this world and I don’t want to. I’m tired of performing how everyone says I must only to be left with nothing worth caring about. I don’t even want friends anymore, just leave me alone to be with my mind, nobody’s presence is worth the incessant reminders of my shortcomings. The more I invest in meeting the demands of reality the more I become unlike myself, distanced from everything that matters to me. The version of me that faces this world and its demands is bitter and watching it take control is like witnessing my own death. 

Everyone else already has friends or can make them with a normal amount of effort. The presence of others is comfortable or even energizing to them. Others face employment as if it’s just the next step of life and not like the coffin it is for me. It must be nice to have a career or field of work that aligns with your aspirations. All I want is to create the stories and worlds that exist in my mind. Even creative fields have you abused in working on somebody else’s vision, the work is frantic and provides little security, especially now that AI exists. There’s no space in this world where I get to feel like I belong.

My partner wants to get married and have kids, I lose my financial support and independence if I marry, how could I possibly support a child? Even in my relationship I am being made to face challenges I cannot overcome. Even if I want those things myself I just don’t see how I could do it, and so my relationship has an expiry date. I don’t even feel like I can talk with my family because of the dissonance, being around them makes me feel so worthless and empty. I don’t get to feel seen or loved because of the prescribed way of life I am incompatible with.

i have autism and ADHD, as well as anxiety, depression, OCD and some dissociative disorder. I have tried so many different angles for stimulants, methylphenidate and vyvanse both make me an anxious, sweaty mess and trigger a passive fight or flight response even at the lowest dose. This is really annoying because they do help me manage my weight because I am not eating so much for dopamine or stimulation seeking, and they do help me focus, though at a really tense high-speed level. i just want to feel clear minded and not controlled by my whims and cravings. I dont know what to do because guanfacine was sedating for me and wellbutrin gave my tinnitus last time I tried it. I dont know what else to do.

I don't belong anywhere. I don't have any friends and have been betrayed and pushed out of 3 friend groups at this point. I don't have a job or career path, nothing is appealing to me and I am not willing to live outside of my values for a paycheck. I'm autistic and I take disability support income. I have spent the last 7 years of my life trying to treat my depression and cognitive issues but nothing works, my attitude has essentially been "if I don't get to feel like myself and enjoy my life, why should I give so much of it to some corporation that doesn't give a shit about me?".

I want to feel creative and work on my own personal projects but lack the motivation or executive functioning to see those things through. I like making art but hate chasing trends or promoting myself online, it's not authentic. I'm not going to make it as an artist if I'm passive, but expressing my voice through trends and algorithms isn't what I want to be doing. I'm not here to justify my existence or insist upon others attention, why the fuck is that my responsibility I just want to draw. I struggle to even care about my own personal projects because of my depression. Not much is enjoyable for me, and the medications they try to give me just make it worse.

I feel like I'm stuck. I never got to have a normal teenage experience and it's continuing into my adult life. Everyone else already has established friendships, nobody considers me to be important enough to keep around. Even shitty entry level retail jobs find some reason to use me as a scapegoat and cut my hours. I literally can't rely on anything.

I exercise, I go to therapy, I eat and sleep well, I don't use cannabis or alcohol. I use magic mushrooms to ease my depression, but it can't change the underlying structure of repeated loss. My partner says she admires my perseverance, but really I'm just spinning my wheels. I feel like she wants me to get off my ass and is just trying to hype me up but there is genuinely no place where I belong. Any direction I choose will be worse than what I currently have going for me, which isn't much but at least I have free time.

I don't belong anywhere. I don't have any friends and have been betrayed and pushed out of 3 friend groups at this point. I don't have a job or career path, nothing is appealing to me and I am not willing to live outside of my values for a paycheck. I'm autistic and I take disability support income. I have spent the last 7 years of my life trying to treat my depression and cognitive issues but nothing works, my attitude has essentially been "if I don't get to feel like myself and enjoy my life, why should I give so much of it to some corporation that doesn't give a shit about me?".

I want to feel creative and work on my own personal projects but lack the motivation or executive functioning to see those things through. I like making art but hate chasing trends or promoting myself online, it's not authentic. I'm not going to make it as an artist if I'm passive, but expressing my voice through trends and algorithms isn't what I want to be doing. I'm not here to justify my existence or insist upon others attention, why the fuck is that my responsibility I just want to draw. I struggle to even care about my own personal projects because of my depression. Not much is enjoyable for me, and the medications they try to give me just make it worse.

I feel like I'm stuck. I never got to have a normal teenage experience and it's continuing into my adult life. Everyone else already has established friendships, nobody considers me to be important enough to keep around. Even shitty entry level retail jobs find some reason to use me as a scapegoat and cut my hours. I literally can't rely on anything.

I exercise, I go to therapy, I eat and sleep well, I don't use cannabis or alcohol. I use magic mushrooms to ease my depression, but it can't change the underlying structure of repeated loss. My partner says she admires my perseverance, but really I'm just spinning my wheels. I feel like she wants me to get off my ass and is just trying to hype me up but there is genuinely no place where I belong. Any direction I choose will be worse than what I currently have going for me, which isn't much but at least I have free time.

As the title says, there are not a lot of images online of results coming from WCH. I will be getting mine done in May of next year with Dr. Krakowski and Dr. Millman. If anyone here has experience I would like to know more, are you happy with the aesthetics and function? Has there been any complications or issues with depth? I'd like to hear firsthand from a gal who has gone through it. Thanks

I have tried dozens of psychiatric medications, from SSRI's and SNRI's to anticonvulsants, mood stabilizers and stimulants. Every single one of them has made my mental health worse overall. I have collected 8 or 9 diagnoses trying to explain my issues in different ways, no angle really quite fits.

If I take a stimulant for example, it might elevate my mood for a short while as it introduces more dopamine into my system, but my brain is then going to downregulate dopamine receptors to balance out, which just leaves me numb, detached and anxious. Same with serotonin, having more of it floating around in my brain doesn't really matter when the receptors blunt the signal in response, it just leaves me feeling emotionally blank unable to enjoy anything, the very opposite of what it's supposedly prescribed to do.

I have been losing my mind trying to get my issues treated, I meet some criteria for anxiety, some for depression, some for ADHD, I also get headaches so throw migraine in there. OCD? Sure why not. All I want is to witness my life with a clear mind and the energy to do things that matter to me. I've been in a dozen different forms of therapy, that doesn't make a difference either. The only thing that ever worked even a little bit was in a clinical trial, there's no official way for me to access it now, and even if it were available it wouldn't be covered by my government insurance. I don't know what to do anymore.

as I understand, with SSRIs psilocybin’s effect is blunted or reduced, but given how trintellix is different from most SSRIs, would the same be true? Does anyone here have any experience with it? I participated in a clinical trial for Psilocybin and found it to be extremely helpful for my depression, anxiety and brain fog issues for about 4-5 months. Now my doctor is prescribing me trintellix, and I’m unsure, since it seems I have to choose one or the other. Let me know what you think!

hello I am a sheridan grad. I am missing the community connection of being in college. I want a space to work on art alongside other artists. I know the Oakville art collective or art society exist, but I mainly see older folks and not a lot of young people as members. Where are young people going to find artist community? I have been fairly isolated since school. I am now 26.

Hi I’m a clean and quiet 26 year old woman looking for a place to rent short term until October 1st. I have a maximum budget of about $1000 per month. If you have anything or know of anything please let me know.

I am looking to spend under $700 Canadian. I am in the Toronto region, but usually just buy online. I really enjoy the wide soundstage and the imaging of the 9500s. I have tried the Hifiman sundaras and enjoy those as well, I think I like a bright but balanced sound signature. The sundaras imaging doesn't quite beat the 9500s, I find myself coming back to the phillips even though the sundaras have way better clarity of sound, no graininess, higher resolution. I frequently listen to Koss KSC75s on the go, really enjoy the sound of those as well.

I have been looking into the Sennheiser HD 490 PRO Plus, but thats at the very top of my price range and would be interested to hear other ideas.

A friend has generously let me stay with them for 60 days while I seek affordable housing. I have a budget of about 700 per month including all utilities. I have a modest but consistent income and am a responsible, clean tenant and a friendly roommate. I just ask for my own private space. I am disabled and really just need some stability right now. My support systems are here in Oakville, I do not want to move away. Please help me.

I'm an artist and express my feelings through my art. I posted recently, about a week and a half after our breakup and no contact. It wasn't anything specific to her or our relationship necessarily, it was metaphorical and abstract. This morning she left my discord group with her and unfollowed me on instagram. We are still discord friends, which has me kind of confused. If she's going to slowly do things like this to push me further away should I just unfollow her on things now?

I know this decision to break up was a difficult one for her, in the end of our fight she asked me to be friends. I told her that leaves all of the pain on me and that I can't do that, but if she ever needs me to reach out. I wanted to leave a door open for her because she knows I still want to try to make things work. She says she lacks the capacity for a relationship. If she's going to slowly burn me like this maybe I should make some more distance. We do steam library sharing and have a shared spotify playlist. I don't want to be passive aggressive and delete these things entirely, but if we aren't going to be together then I don't know how else to go about it.