u/letsgetevil66

I work 2 days a week currently so I’m home a lot of the time . I live in a mid terrace house so I have neighbours either side of me . Last year my neighbour to my left had what seemed like a full house renovation which obviously she is well within her rights to do so. However this was work that included knocking down existing walls ripping up every floor it was loud and it would vibrate through my whole house , it was drilling concrete constant hammering and it went on for 6 months including Saturdays starting at 8am. I feel it would have been courteous for my neighbour to let me know but she never did , it would have been nice to have known what her plans were so I could understand what was going on. The work finally finished just before Christmas which was a relief but fast forward to now she has workmen back in the house and it’s hard to even concentrate on what I I’m doing it’s so loud and quite unbearable at times .. I don’t drive and I don’t have any family or friends in my hometown so I am restricted to my home on days off. I do understand that there’s nothing I can do and house renovations happen but do you think it would be reasonable for me to speak to her and ask how long it will be for this time and what she’s having done ? Just for my peace of mind I’m still triggered from the noise last year and she never pre warns me . I feel if it was me I would notify both my neighbours and let them know my plans. The only thing that slightly blocks it out is having a speaker on full blast playing heavy music and even with that on I can still hear it and there’s only so much of that I want to listen to.

My(35f) Dad(75) is showing signs of dementia , he’s not the man he used to be at all it’s like over the last 7 years he’s had a personality change and not for the better . I used to be very close with my Dad and I would spend time with him a lot and we would vacation just us two I have fond memories . However the man he is now is not that man I was close too he would be supportive and give me advice and always be there for me . Now He’s a stranger to me and I feel nothing for him he looks different he behaves different and the dad I knew and loved was left back in 2019. I dread seeing him I feel like Im taking time to go and see a stranger that is miserable unhappy and just damn rude even when I talk to him there’s no resemblance to the father I loved so dearly . I resent this man and miss my Dad unbearably . Now I know this happens to lots of people but no one has ever said they feel the way I do I worry that I’m evil or there is something wrong with me . Everyone just seems to go on loving them the same way they always have but in my head my dad is dead and gone and a strange man has replaced him . I can’t force myself to care for a stranger . Is this normal and most people just keep these feelings to themselves, am I an a asshole and what do you do to cope with these feelings . When someone passes away you can grieve and put them in the ground . When someone exits their vessel but leaves their skin suit behind it’s hard to grieve properly when trying to care for someone I don’t know .
I just want my Dad back . This new person has no similarities to who my father was at all competely different and this new person is mean and nasty .

My Dad is 75 still lives alone but has slowly been showing signs of dementia which this year seems to be getting worse quickly and bizarre behaviours being displayed. My sister is my Dads main contact for care as she lives 5 minutes away I’m over an hour but I get down as much as I can to help . He’s just very weird now and can’t communicate very well, he can’t write anymore , type texts , his cognitive decline is only getting worse . He can still live alone just about as he only eats quiche from a box he refuses to eat anything else so we stock him up with food and he’s able to plod along day by day just sits in his chair watching tv and just about manages to hobble to the bathroom . My sister went to visit today and noticed there was elastic bands all over his kitchen work top when my sister asked what they were for he laughed and informed her that he had been putting elastic band inside lumps of quiche and feeding it to the sea gulls out the back of his appartment knowing full well that will be terribly bad for them if not kill them he thought it was funny . Not only is he harming the birds he’s wasting his only food he eats doing it . Now I’m all for being patient and treading carefully but you mess with animals or harm birds I can’t keep it together .. it’s lucky it was my sister who found this out today and not me because I would have lost it . My sister just tells him not to continue doing it when I know he won’t listen and will keep doing it . There is also lots of businesses underneath his apartment where the restaurant owners are out the back all the time and might also notice my dad being weird. Please what would you do if you were in my situation how do I approach this ? He doesn’t listen to us it falls on deaf ears .. and I’m very concerned about this behaviour . I also feel I have a duty to make sure these beautiful birds are okay and protected .
Dad will not move into assisted living or a care home he is still capabale of making decisions for himself just about so not an option yet .