u/lexbastard

Hi everyone! I have a question about Catholic marriage that came up after reading a recent news story. I’m asking purely out of curiosity and would appreciate any clarification from priests or people knowledgeable about canon law.
I’m wondering how the Church determines whether two people are considered a man and a woman for the purposes of a Catholic marriage.
For example:
Could a feminine man and a very masculine woman be married in the Catholic Church, assuming both were legally/biologically the sexes they were assigned at birth?
What about a trans man who was assigned female at birth and is biologically female, but socially and physically presents as a man, while all of his legal documents still identify him as female? Could he validly marry a cisgender man in the Catholic Church?
Basically, I’m curious about what the Church actually uses to determine someone’s sex for marriage: biological sex, legal sex, gender presentation/social identity, or some combination of these.
I’m not trying to make a political argument or debate anyone’s beliefs. I’m just genuinely interested in how this would be treated under Catholic canon law, especially in less straightforward cases.
Thanks in advance!

I shared a screenshot from a friend of mine. The reason I shared it wasn’t because I agreed with any particular statement in it. What I found funny was how completely random the conversation was and how none of the messages had anything to do with each other.
The messages were basically:
Talking about a TV character strangling someone.
Talking about Walter White killing Crazy-8 in Breaking Bad.
Then suddenly: “Men really aren’t interesting when you’re not ovulating.”
Then immediately: “My bosses are in a really good mood today.”
Followed by a puppy picture and a Spotify link.
The randomness of jumping between all those topics was what made me laugh.
My partner focused on the line “Men really aren’t interesting when you’re not ovulating” and told me to imagine if a cis man had posted something similar but about trans men, changing it to something like “trans men aren’t interesting unless we are horny.”
I told him that wasn’t what I meant by sharing it at all.(he is a cis gay man) I wasn’t endorsing the statement. I just thought the conversation was absurd because every message was about something completely different.
After he explained his perspective, I apologized, acknowledged that it could be interpreted differently than I intended, and said I’d be more careful because it doesn’t reflect what I actually believe.
What bothers me isn’t that he pointed it out. What bothers me is that after I apologized and accepted the criticism, he kept saying things like “it’s not the first time” and “it’s not the first time I’ve told you this.”
So now I’m wondering:
Was sharing the screenshot actually insensitive?
Is it reasonable to think the context (the randomness of the conversation) matters?

Part of why that comparison didn’t fully make sense to me is that I see a difference between a cis woman making a dismissive comment about cis men and a cis man making a dismissive comment about trans men. Those situations don’t carry the same social context. A trans man or cis woman making a broad joke about men may still be unfair or annoying, but it doesn’t strike me as directly equivalent to a cis man making a broad statement about trans men, who are a marginalized group. That doesn’t automatically make the original statement okay, but it’s part of why I struggled with the comparison.

My boyfriend recently moved in with me. We bought some IKEA furniture together: a closet and some drawers. The drawers are mine, and the closet is his.

The delivery arrived around 1pm while I was working (I work 7am–4pm). Since he is currently unemployed, he started assembling everything while I was away. I told him I would help once I finished work.

By the time I got home, he already had part of it done—the main structure was assembled, and only the drawers were left.

I told him I would help once I finished work.

When I got home, I started helping. However, the situation quickly became tense. Every time I tried to help with the remaining parts—like handling screws or assembling the drawers—he would get annoyed and speak to me in a condescending way, as if I didn’t know what I was doing. He also made comments implying that it would have been better if I had stayed working instead of coming to help, and that if I was going to “complain,” I should just leave him alone.

Because of that, I felt unwelcome and like I was only making things worse by staying and trying to help. So I left and let him finish the drawers on his own.

Now he isn’t talking to me and seems upset. I assume it’s because I left him alone with the remaining work, but from my point of view I left because I was being spoken to in a dismissive way and told, indirectly, to leave.