u/livrexx

I’m just really curious about what’s your best weekly drop was. :D

like: “oh i’m making myself a cup of coffee, but why does it remind me of the intrusive thought???”

I can’t really explain it. There are just some times where I don’t have any thought that feel neutral, everything just feels connected to the intrusive thoughts.

It’s making me feel even more anxious, because every single thought doesn’t feel safe anymore and I’m not getting any rest.

I really hope it’s understandable and someone can relate to this, because it’s driving me insane.

stay strong fellow fighters <33

(sorry I think I chose the wrong flair and I have no idea how to change it)

Hey there,

I’ve got strong OCD since a little bit over 5 years and sometimes it’s so worse but I always get out of the hard times but right now it’s so unbearable, even tho I know that it’s just my OCD.

there was a heatwave were I live over a couple of days long and since I also have ADHD and overall since a couple of months a constant activated nervous system, I have some specific things that need to be right so I can sleep, for example some stuffed toys around the edges of my bed or like my favourite blanket texture and stuff but I always sweated so much and stuck to the mattress which made me even more uncomfortable and I couldn’t sleep but of course right then my mind decided to give me a brand new OCD thought.

I believe many of you can relate to that how it feels when you are massively overtired when not sleeping at all in the night and how strong the OCD will get then. But then I sleep at day because i’m so tired and scared that the OCD thoughts will get much worse when i’m even more tired.
But the problem is that this first night is over a week ago and the heatwave is over but my sleep schedule is so wrecked.
I’m only able to fall asleep when i’m so exhausted that my eyes close on their own which is some time around 5am and if I accidentally wake up, I will need to get up asap because the intrusive thoughts and the panic in my chest is waking up with me.
this night I wanted to go to bed sooner but my mind doesn’t let me rest. I can’t concentrate on anything for more than 10 seconds before the proofing of my thoughts, the panic and the unease starts again. Even tho I’m trying to „breathe the thoughts away“ I get so uneasy that i will panic.

I’ve got this specific intrusive thought for a little bit over a week now but it feels like an eternity and so fucking hopeless of it ever going away. It’s stuck to something that is really important to me and i feel like im going crazy, because I can’t stop proving if the important thing is contaminated by the OCD.
I feel like no matter how much I try to concentrate on something the thought is always at the back of my mind and it’s driving me crazy.
I know I need to sleep but it’s stressing me to feel like i’m surrender to my thoughts as soon as I close my eyes, because the thought is more like a picture that always pops up.
My brain can’t seem to shut up and it’s always searching for triggers and associations and i’m so exhausted and scared by it. I’m basically just fighting to get thru the day. Nothing of my normal OCD coping strategies seem to work, I only feel panic and hopelessness.
I feel like I can’t get out of my head anymore and can’t experience anything without thinking and searching for the intrusive thought. I just want this shit to go away I don’t want any type of OCD anymore. it’s draining me.

I’m sorry if this is hard to read but english is not my mother tongue and i’m fucking exhausted and desperate.
I would appreciate it if someone could give me some advice or at least relate to it :)

Stay strong! <3