u/lizard-brainz

Then I looked at her page. It'd been about a year. Yep, I did it. Why? I don't know. I'm 7 glasses of wine in and have been in my feels. I was also curious. I can't believe the public posts she has, making her look like some amazing grandma to her grandkids. She has been awful and posts with her step-grandkids only, or maybe my estranged sister told her she can't publicly post her kids' photos. Oh, and there was also a post on estrangement—ha! I drunkenly commented that she deserved it. That comment may be the only one she gets until her grave.

I am 45 and now realizing that I may never have a real conversation with her before she dies. I got my son settled into college yesterday, and this just breaks my heart more. Her stupid posts made me want to vomit. Some were so blatantly right-wing. Fu** her. I am so angry, but at least I looked and gave her a chance to show a shred of redemption. She failed.

I think my landlord is a pathological liar. I signed a lease in Colorado four months before I moved to a rental house. I was told two weeks before I moved from out of state that the house I’d be renting was ready. I later found out that he had a huge trampoline in the yard moved out the day before I arrived. Not a big deal, but then…

After a 16-hour drive, I arrived to an unlocked front door. The house was dirty (he later told me he had it professionally cleaned—right). The hot water heater needed to be replaced, and there was not running hot water. One sink’s pipes were not hooked up. The shower faucet in one bathroom did turn on. The gas fireplace he told me worked did not turn on (still doesn’t). A month before, during a friendly conversation, he had mentioned that he would put up a cover for my car since we get hail here. That was never mentioned again. He told me he had ordered a new stove range since only 1 burner works and it’s missing knobs. I’ve been here 2 ½ months, and it still hasn’t been replaced. The smoke detectors kept going off with a beep that indicated they had an internal issue. He promised to bring me new smoke detectors before I left town for a work trip. That did not happen until two weeks after I got back from said trip and after making I made a big deal about it. Then the “new” ones had the exact same issue, yet he claims they were brand new. The ceiling’s paint job looked horrible, and he told me he’d have “his guys” redo it. When that didn’t happen, I said I’d just do it, and he said he’d supply the paint—still waiting on that. I need an outdoor outlet cover, and he said he’d install it—over a month ago. A shower faucet started leaking (I pay a ton for water here since we have droughts), and it took him two tries after two or more weeks to get it to stop. I now have a hole around the faucet in the wall, and it’s unusable.

I recently left town again to get my son settled at college. He said he would get some things repaired around the house while I’m gone so as to not bother me while I’m home. I just got home. It appears he only brought new smoke detectors and hung them. Literally, NOTHING else was done.

I am fuming and exhausted from shitty landlords. I have never rented and paid for ALL utilities, yet here, I pay for electric, gas, water, and even trash. I figured that if I’m going to pay all that and go over my budget, the least they could do is provide the property in the condition that we agreed to.

To complicate matters, I also pay them to board my horse at their new property where they live on-site. I am at the point where I am considering selling my horse, which would free up lots of money per month and make me feel more comfortable if I have to move again. The horse industry makes it super hard to find a great boarding barn too, so I promised myself that if their barn didn’t work out, I’d sell my horse and leave the industry.

I feel burnt out and totally feel like I’m dealing with a used car salesman. He says all the right things, promises stuff, then only delivers 1% of the time. The smoke detector issue is when I “snapped” and told him I think he’s dishonest via text, and he snapped back at me. But then, he ended up calling me and apologized for talking to me “that way” and promised he’d get stuff done while I was out of town. I feel like I’m being gaslighted and am losing my mind. What do I do?!

https://preview.redd.it/7t1x3u3la0kh1.png?width=468&format=png&auto=webp&s=2e3b896a057c8b8bf4f5efc2921cbc62f1711fa4

I think my landlord is a pathological liar. I signed a lease in Colorado four months before I moved to a rental house. I was told two weeks before I moved from out of state that the house I’d be renting was ready. I later found out that he had a huge trampoline in the yard moved out the day before I arrived. Not a big deal, but then…

After a 16-hour drive, I arrived to an unlocked front door. The house was dirty (he later told me he had it professionally cleaned—right). The hot water heater needed to be replaced, and there was not running hot water. One sink’s pipes were not hooked up. The shower faucet in one bathroom did turn on. The gas fireplace he told me worked did not turn on (still doesn’t). A month before, during a friendly conversation, he had mentioned that he would put up a cover for my car since we get hail here. That was never mentioned again. He told me he had ordered a new stove range since only 1 burner works and it’s missing knobs. I’ve been here 2 ½ months, and it still hasn’t been replaced. The smoke detectors kept going off with a beep that indicated they had an internal issue. He promised to bring me new smoke detectors before I left town for a work trip. That did not happen until two weeks after I got back from said trip and after making I made a big deal about it. Then the “new” ones had the exact same issue, yet he claims they were brand new. The ceiling’s paint job looked horrible, and he told me he’d have “his guys” redo it. When that didn’t happen, I said I’d just do it, and he said he’d supply the paint—still waiting on that. I need an outdoor outlet cover, and he said he’d install it—over a month ago. A shower faucet started leaking (I pay a ton for water here since we have droughts), and it took him two tries after two or more weeks to get it to stop. I now have a hole around the faucet in the wall, and it’s unusable.

I recently left town again to get my son settled at college. He said he would get some things repaired around the house while I’m gone so as to not bother me while I’m home. I just got home. It appears he only brought new smoke detectors and hung them. Literally, NOTHING else was done.

I am fuming and exhausted from shitty landlords. I have never rented and paid for ALL utilities, yet here, I pay for electric, gas, water, and even trash. I figured that if I’m going to pay all that and go over my budget, the least they could do is provide the property in the condition that we agreed to.

To complicate matters, I also pay them to board my horse at their new property where they live on-site. I am at the point where I am considering selling my horse, which would free up lots of money per month and make me feel more comfortable if I have to move again. The horse industry makes it super hard to find a great boarding barn too, so I promised myself that if their barn didn’t work out, I’d sell my horse and leave the industry.

I feel burnt out and totally feel like I’m dealing with a used car salesman. He says all the right things, promises stuff, then only delivers 1% of the time. The smoke detector issue is when I “snapped” and told him I think he’s dishonest via text, and he snapped back at me. But then, he ended up calling me and apologized for talking to me “that way” and promised he’d get stuff done while I was out of town. I feel like I’m being gaslighted and am losing my mind. What do I do?!

This is so confusing, and I'd appreciate any help. I moved from out of state and have a car financed through a dealership back in that state.

Drivers License: I was able to make an appointment for this online through the state DMV and have that confirmed for early August. Any tips for this? I did change my last name and had the marriage certificate mailed to me to verify that (dumb, antiquated rule).

Registration: This is where I'm most stuck! Online says to register through my county (El Paso). I keep seeing that I need to make an appointment, but there are no links to make said appointment. Also, I keep reading that I need to contact the dealer who financed my car and get some type of paperwork? And I also need to get the VIN verification done (okay, that part seems maybe the easiest). Can someone walk me through the steps like I am a dummy please?

I've tried calling but can't seem to be able to talk to a live person. AI prompts tell me to make an appointment on the website I keep going back to that has no scheduling link. I'd like to get this squared away sooner than later.

Thanks!

How have you all navigated estranged family when your kids are going through a big thing? My son graduates high school soon, and my mom left a voicemail just saying she misses me and loves me. Nothing else. No words of accountability or anything. She sounded SO sad, and it got to me. I mentioned it to a friend who told me she is calling just so she can be invited to my son's graduation. At first, I wasn't convinced and asked why she'd even care, and my friend told me it's a way for her to brag to others. That hit home!

My mom had reached out to his dad AND to my son in prior weeks (triangulation?) to try to get invited to grad stuff, asking about plans and such. But it hurt because she was asking them and basically pretending I didn't exist. It felt gross.

I've told my son that he can invite her if he wants her there, but I'm not planning to talk with her about it. It's hard because I don't have anyone else who can come. I'm estranged from my sisters too and won't invite them. His other grandparents aren't mobile enough to come. He's an awesome kid, did extremely well in school, and should be celebrated. How do I navigate this?!