u/llamita-qwq

I've been with my boyfriend almost 7 months, in this whole time we've been through some tough moments, the hardest of this being he had a best friend that was really weird about him and it made me feel like I wasn't the girlfriend. Then she left, we kept having a very loving relationship, I was really intense and he used to love that, every time I'd ask about what he was doing or talking with someone he'd smile until a couple months maybe, now me asking those questions seemed to annoy him.

I haven't really know how to felt about it, I don't like being with people but being with him felt safe, we really wanted each other and, I won't lie, I think he made me need him, and as well he used to be jealous about me talking to people, since I'm not very sociable I didn't have a problem with that as long as it meant having him.

At some point he asked for sleep calls but the things is we never hung and now we've been on a discord vc for god knows how long, he asked me for it and we've just kept it.

Some time after this he started spending more time with his friends, even when I had time to be together which is usually hard for me because we have different time zones, I told him I wanted us to have more like we used to and he said the vc time should show I had more than anybody else.

Recently though, as thing of the last month things just got weird, he asked me to play a game but said he was gonna play with his friends regardless, so I accepted joining his server, I didn't know anything of this game and I was excited to try it, but being there the few times I was I realised he was paying more attention to one of his friends than me and that got me really jealous, for once I actually had the time to play more this game with him but he still spent more time with his friends and that made me really sad, since this happened we've been on a constant state of almost breaking up because he just seems to want more to be with his friends, another thing is he started getting upset with me which didn't really use to happen, we had conversations but never argued until now, and he can be a little mean which is still surprising because we never used to.

I'm very introverted and shy, and I don't particularly like this one friend that he's been more with, my boyfriend wants me to be more sociable and play more things with them, talk more etc. While I just want more time for us and just us together

I know neither of us is asking for something fair but it's actually making our relationship so unhappy I don't know what to do. I got used to having each other all the time and even though he gives me attention it feels incomplete and I'm sad I can't have just him like I used to.

We were really good at communicating and work together on things but recently is been a constant "I'm sorry you feel like that" and he doesn't know what to do or say

I never loved someone so much and I really wanted us to work out but I don't feel like it could happen anymore even when I don't want to break up.

He's also AuDHD and I know that's a big part of all this but I don't know how to help or what to do, I know we love each other, things are just too difficult now.