u/llgbk

I'm talking about the entitlement. I have been trying to just demand what I need without feeling guilty or constantly questioning whether I've "earned" it, when it comes to taking care of myself while being a working wife and mom. And yet I consistently fall short of the complete lack of concern that my husband has when centering his own needs. The way he feels okay to just wander off when we're with the kids and start doing whatever he wants without saying anything, the way thinks staying up until 1am to do whatever he wants means he should get to sleep in while I get up with the kids every single day, the way I ask him if he wants to shower first and he says yes but then just doesn't go and shower for 10+ minutes (???) and then acts annoyed when I say okay then I'm going to go shower.

It's been a long week of my oldest being home before camp starts, and I'm just increasingly baffled and the total lack of awareness for how self centered his behavior is.

This is more vent than anything, but I know this is not uncommon man behavior and I am wondering how others have countered it.

(Do not suggest divorce. I know it's really hard to be a redditor and not just assume someone else's relationship is pointless with almost no information, but like....just don't)

Wife of dx/Rx husband. Since I joined this sub I have learned that a lot of thing I thought were personality quirks of my husband are actually tied back to ADHD and I am wondering if this is one of those. He fixates on a joke/reference for a specific situation and can't seem to stop himself from repeating it every.single.time the thing comes up. One example: whenever I have a meeting I don't want to go to and I say I wish I didn't have to he says "just tell them you have sciatica." Every time. For probably at least 7 or 8 years. Another example: every time I say the word backpack he says "in....my...backpack" in a Rudy-from-Bobs-Burgers-having-an-asthma-attack voice. Every time. We have two kids so I say backpack a lot. It makes me insane. I have asked him to stop so many times and it's like he just can't.

Hi all, I'm new here and excited to find this community. My husband is 42/dx/Rx.

I'm honestly at my wit's end. My husband seems to think he has zero accountability for any issue that can be traced back to his ADHD (which is obviously any issue at all). If I push for an apology then I get called out for "expecting him to act like a person with a normal brain" etc.

He wants me to basically feed him additional information and reminders all the time but if he doesn't need them he gets angry at me for providing them. He also thinks he should get "unstructured down time" and not be interrupted during tasks but we have a 4 year old and 1 year old and I'm just like.....that's not reasonable.

I am wondering how other people address the topic of "reasonable accomodations" with their partners. I understand that as a partner to someone with a disability there are expectations I need to level set, but I'm just one individual person who is also trying to survive. I am also diagnosed OCD which is a really difficult match, of course.

I am trying to figure out how to get us back into couples therapy but money is tight right now and I'm not sure if our new insurance will cover it.