u/lolfuckigottawork

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I have been dating my boyfriend seriously for a little over a year now. We live separate, however we only live 5 minutes from each other so if I'm not at work, I am probably at his house. I am childfree.

He has 2 kids, boys, 9 and 11, every other week. I met them about 8 months ago, and we hit it off pretty well. Within the past couple months, the 9 year old has been picking on me... relentlessly. To the point it's getting tough not to let it get to me.

A few examples:

My boyfriend saying "watch for that car" in the parking lot and 9 year old saying "Dad you shouldn't have said anything just let it hit her"

Me saying I have to go to work (swingshift office job) and 9 year old saying "well atleast my dad works when he's at work you just sit around all night"

My boyfriend is building a house next spring. We have decided it would be best for me not to be put on the house and the mortgage loan yet, as we haven't actually lived together yet. The goal is eventually marriage, however anything could happen once we actually live together. So with that being said, he is paying the majority of the upfront cost for a new house. 9 year old knows this, and continues to tell me that I must be broke and lazy because I can't afford to help with the house. (Just to clarify, I could help with it, but we both agreed I won't pay more than some of the mortgage/monthly bills until marriage).

We went on vacation about a month ago, all together. 9 year old asked his dad to "sleep with (him and his brother) and not her" which is fine, but it was the way he said it. He said "her" like I am some terrible person or something.

This is only a few examples, but there has been more. I cannot even jokingly pick on their dad around 9 year old without 9 year old jumping down my neck. I understand 9 year old is a kid, and doesn't understand things, because he is a kid. But I can't keep going with this disrespect. I try to be as nice as I can to 9 year old but recently I just stopped talking around him. I don't even acknowledge the remarks he makes anymore.

Today it got so bad that my boyfriend actually stepped in and sad "Jeez (9 year old), don't you think you're being a little harsh to her? You're kinda getting mean" which I appreciated immensely but I still don't know how much I can take... or how to make it stop.

How do you guys tolerate/address disrespectful comments directed towards you from your partners kids/step kids?

I have been dating my boyfriend seriously for a little over a year now. We live separate, however we only live 5 minutes from each other so if I'm not at work, I am probably at his house. I am childfree.

He has 2 kids, boys, 9 and 11, every other week. I met them about 8 months ago, and we hit it off pretty well. Within the past couple months, the 9 year old has been picking on me... relentlessly. To the point it's getting tough not to let it get to me.

A few examples:

My boyfriend saying "watch for that car" in the parking lot and 9 year old saying "Dad you shouldn't have said anything just let it hit her"

Me saying I have to go to work (swingshift office job) and 9 year old saying "well atleast my dad works when he's at work you just sit around all night"

My boyfriend is building a house next spring. We have decided it would be best for me not to be put on the house and the mortgage loan yet, as we haven't actually lived together yet. The goal is eventually marriage, however anything could happen once we actually live together. So with that being said, he is paying the majority of the upfront cost for a new house. 9 year old knows this, and continues to tell me that I must be broke and lazy because I can't afford to help with the house. (Just to clarify, I could help with it, but we both agreed I won't pay more than some of the mortgage/monthly bills until marriage).

We went on vacation about a month ago, all together. 9 year old asked his dad to "sleep with (him and his brother) and not her" which is fine, but it was the way he said it. He said "her" like I am some terrible person or something.

This is only a few examples, but there has been more. I cannot even jokingly pick on their dad around 9 year old without 9 year old jumping down my neck. I understand 9 year old is a kid, and doesn't understand things, because he is a kid. But I can't keep going with this disrespect. I try to be as nice as I can to 9 year old but recently I just stopped talking around him. I don't even acknowledge the remarks he makes anymore.

Today it got so bad that my boyfriend actually stepped in and sad "Jeez (9 year old), don't you think you're being a little harsh to her? You're kinda getting mean" which I appreciated immensely but I still don't know how much I can take... or how to make it stop.

How do you guys tolerate/address disrespectful comments directed towards you from your partners kids/step kids?

My (29f) boyfriend (40m) of 2 years has 2 boys, 9 +11. I am childless. Since I've made my last post, I have attended some of their games when I didn't have to work, and just generally been more... in their life. This is just a vent for those who understand.

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The last 3 or 4 months, as long as our schedules allow, I have slept at his house or he has slept at mine. Well tonight, we watched a scarier show at his house, which scared the kids. They begged him to sleep in their room with them because they were afraid to sleep alone, and of course I told him I didn't care because truthfully, I want him to be there for his kids. I'm a big girl, I can handle myself. His kids are kids who need their dad in this scenario. So he went into his kids' room and slept with them. I went back to my house. I am not sad, or hurt by it... just... damn.... this kinda sucks, you know?

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I think the more integrated I am becoming in their lives (which is great) I am realizing what I am also missing out on. I cannot have kids. Prior to us dating, we talked about possibly adopting a girl, but that hasn't been spoken about since. We have plans to build a house together next year, 3br 2 bath. That's not big enough to adopt (what would be) a 3rd child...

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I'm just realizing what I'm missing out on by watching him with his kids. When they're scared, they turn to him. They think he's the best person in the world, as they should. I see the unconditional love they have for each other, and I'm starting to realize I may never get to have that.

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I've been holding off about asking him if he still wants to adopt a girl for a couple months now. I'm going to ask him tomorrow. I'm afraid of his answer. I'm afraid of him saying no, because I do truly love him, and his kids as well. I just don't know if this relationship can continue if he says no, because everyday I'm getting a close up look into what a life with children is like and realizing if he says no, I will never have that, even if my only choice is to adopt... and that sucks. That's something I don't think I can live with.

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This just... sucks.