u/loonaluvgud

i’m 28 and have been friends with this girl since we were about 7. we grew up together, our families know each other, and she’s been one of my closest friends basically my entire life.

she’s getting married in a few months and asked me to be a bridesmaid earlier this year. i was there when she picked her dress, helped with wedding stuff, and she asked me to host her bridal shower, which i did.
leading up to the shower, she had gotten a little distant, but i honestly didn’t think much of it. we’re adults and sometimes there are gaps in communication. there were times she didn’t respond to me and vice versa, but there was never a fight or any conversation about something being wrong.

i do know she’s been extremely stressed about the wedding. she even took a second job to help pay for it. she never directly told me how stressed she was, but she ended up getting shingles in both eyes and her doctor apparently thinks the extreme stress contributed to it. so clearly she had a lot going on that maybe i didn’t fully realize.

the shower was stressful behind the scenes because a bunch of things went wrong and we were running behind, but it ended up being really nice and everyone seemed to have a good time. afterward, i texted her a couple times to check in and make plans and didn’t get a response.

then our other close friend reached out to her asking if there was anything more she could do to help with the wedding. she lives across the country but has flown in for basically every wedding event, so she was also confused by the distance. the bride responded saying basically, “thanks for reaching out, but i’ve already made my decision. i’ll be texting the group chat.”

neither of us knew what that meant.

then she texted our group chat saying she had been praying about it and decided we would no longer be part of her wedding because she wanted to move forward with people she could “trust and rely on.” she said anything that needed to be discussed would have to wait until after the wedding, then left the group chat and removed us from social media.
i genuinely have no idea what happened. there was no argument, warning, or conversation about her being upset with either of us. after 20+ years of friendship, being told there’s apparently some huge issue but we can’t even discuss it until months later is what’s throwing me the most.

has anyone experienced something like this? what would you even do in this situation?

twice this week my (f28) bf (m28) (who’s been on a weeklong bender with his friends) confidently remembered telling me or asking me something that never actually happened.

the first time, he said he had invited me over the night before. when i told him he hadn’t, he said “i must’ve just thought about it.”

then today he insisted he had called me the day before and told me specific information about his brother needing a ride. the thing is, he never called me. he only texted me that his brother was in town, and he never mentioned needing a ride at all. he was convinced we’d had that conversation on the phone until i corrected him.

his explanation is that he’s been drinking heavily all week and his memory is shot. he says he’s been forgetting where he puts things and can’t remember much from the week.

what i’m trying to figure out is whether other people have seen someone confidently remember conversations that never actually happened after heavy drinking. i’m not talking about forgetting things or blacking out, i mean genuinely remembering details of conversations that didn’t occur.

i’m trying to figure out whether this is something people have actually experienced before i decide what to make of it.

twice this week my bf (who’s on a weeklong bender with his friends) remembered something that he told me or asked me that he didn’t.

said he asked me to come over the day before he actually did too, when i said he didn’t he said “i must’ve just thought about it”

then today he said he called and told me something that he only texted me partially about. this time he was adamant he told me and even tried to say it happened during a phone call that i recall, but we didn’t talk about that.

is he being weird because i definitely don’t create false memories i just forget everything but maybe someone here can relate. before i chew his head off

i have been best friends with her since we were 7 and 8 years old, so literally 20 years. we’ve gone through everything together in a trio friend group.

last year around this time she got engaged, and she has been planning for a wedding that is set for this summer. during this planning process everything has been super busy, as expected, but me as well as my other friend have been asking if she needs help, checking in periodically. i have personally stepped up to help plan her bridal shower, i hosted the event and done planning and research for her makeup artist, hairstylist etc for her big day.

all this is to say, i have been a very active friend before and during this process! even if we don’t speak literally every day, we speak pretty regularly. today, randomly, out of the blue, she drops the below text in our trip friend group chat:

“After taking time to reflect and pray, l've decided that both of you will no longer be a part of my wedding.
Right now, I'm choosing to move forward surrounded by people I can fully rely on, trust and genuinely supported by.
If there's ever a conversation to be had, it will need to happen after the wedding. Despite everything, I sincerely wish you both the best.”

me and my other friend are completely confused, and hurt over this. i’ve wracked my brain trying to understand. she proceeded to remove us from all our socials and every group chat we are in together. i guess i’m just wondering what the f to do?

When I first started talking to my boyfriend about two years ago, maybe around the second week of knowing him, we went out to a club with his cousin.

At one point, we were standing outside a pizza place. He was really drunk, and there was a girl standing near the entrance by herself. He walked up and started talking to her while I was standing there all alone.

I don’t know exactly what they talked about, and he says he doesn’t remember it because he was drunk. He also said he generally talks to anybody when he’s drunk and didn’t intentionally mean to make me feel weird.

At the time, I felt uncomfortable and a little disrespected, but I didn’t really make it a huge thing. Now, for some reason, I keep thinking about it again and wondering if I was right to feel weird about it.

Was that actually disrespectful, or was it not a big deal and I’m overthinking it?