u/lucky7cozy

In any other circumstance, it would be easy to have compassion for myself for getting traumatized from being touched inappropriately by a middle-aged stepbrother with his gross hands and getting PTSD nightmares from it, the same man burping loudly in my face, living in a home with human feces and body fluids smeared everywhere, and having to hear loud gross noises 24/7. People say you should be tolerant, but I feel like having your bodily autonomy violated shouldn’t be tolerated in any circumstance. 

I have this trauma because of him, but because of his Down syndrome, having these negative feelings and psychological reactions makes me feel like a bad person. 

Other people in my family have admitted to me that they will feel relief when he passes away, because whenever he’s absent everyone has less conflict and less stress. Even though logically I know that my feelings are common and I’m not alone, I still feel guilty for having them.

I wish parents would invest in headphones.

I get it’s a different time, and you can’t just send kids to play outside to have hockey stick fights or do Ed Edd and Eddy style scams on each other anymore as the older generations used to do in the 70s and stuff.
I get that you need a way to pacify your kid so they don’t bounce off the walls in professional spaces. But letting your kids play whatever YouTube kids brain rot on full blast in a room where you know other people can’t leave because they have to work is fucked up.

My poor mom will come home from work, and you can tell she’s on her last nerve from the overstimulation of listening to 3 different screens play 3 different repetitive and loud low-effort children's content for 5 hours non stop. I feel so bad for her.

I’ve also been noticing adults are doing this bullshit too. Where they just scroll through TikTok and YouTube Shorts at full volume in a room where everyone is forced to listen. I want these people to get publicly shamed more often. My dad does this. He shamelessly plays Candy Crush and iPhone games at full volume at inappropriate places like my school’s admin office, where people are trying to focus on work and students are trying to get things done; it’s incredibly embarrassing.
By the way, if an adult's excuse for doing this is, “I have sensory issues with textures and physical objects touching my ears, and that’s why I don’t wear headphones in public.” THEN DON’T DO THINGS ON YOUR PHONE THAT REQUIRE SOUND! LOG THE FUCK OFF AND STARE OUT THE WINDOW FOR ENTERTAINMENT! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR BRAIN ROT YOUTUBE SHORTS FEED!

If you’re an adult with iPad kid energy, you automatically lose respect points.

TW: mentions of child abuse

Do you ever hear those stories from younger siblings or people reminiscing about their childhood, talking about their parents who parentified their older children or guilted their older family/community members to take care of them?
And because the people didn’t actually want to care for them or had resentment for having to care for them, they ended up neglecting them or even abusing them?

There are so many stories that go like:

“When I was a kid, my mom used to force my brother to take care of me, and he and his friends used to beat me up and torture me.”

“When I was 7, my mom used to make my older sister take care of me, but she would send me outside to play with the neighbour because she didn’t want to deal with me, and then I kept getting molested, and when I tried to tell her, she didn’t believe me.”

“When I was a kid, my grandma used to make me live with my aunt who hated dealing with me. She used me for free labour and would beat me for not getting all her chores done on time.”

I’ve even seen people who were in the forced caretaker position admit to abuse and neglect because they didn’t want to be doing that:

“My mom used to make my life revolve around my special needs older brother, so whenever she was away and it looked like he was having a medical emergency, I wouldn’t tell anyone in the hope that he would die and I could be free of him.”

“I remember grandma used to make me babysit ya’ll, and I used to whoop ya’ll asses. I still remember the funny face you made when you screamed and cried.”

“When I was a teenager, my mom used to make me take care of my little brother, and I would just lock him in his room until he cried and slip cereal under his door to feed him.”

This is why I can’t stand people in the anti-capitalist movement and pro-communal movement who advocate for living in a society where everyone MUST help parents take care of children or mentally delayed disabled kids/adults who need 24/7 care. I myself are not super pro-capitalist and would prefer more social safety nets for people, but some people in that umbrella believe that means living in a world where everyone EVERYONE is obligated to help with their kids, and that's a great way to open your children up to being someone's victim. Having a system that cares about people and community doesn't automatically make people who don’t want to care for your vulnerable family members fit for the job.

I understand the surprise about someone being enthusiastic about caring for their child, and then ending up abusing or neglecting them. But I have trouble sympathizing with parents who are surprised that the person who was clearly disgruntled about caring for their kid and tried to refuse or avoid the job, but was guilted or forced into it, ends up hurting their child, because clearly they didn’t give a fuck from the beginning.

Find people who are ACTUALLY passionate about care taking work for real.