u/luckyinnings

I’m a guy in my early 30s and have been dating a woman around my age for a few weeks.

We’ve been on a few dates and have gotten along really well. We have good chemistry, enjoy spending time together, communicate easily, and recently became physically intimate.
The issue is that I don’t think we’re compatible long-term, even though I genuinely like her.

She’s in a very different life stage than I am. She has a child from a previous relationship and has responsibilities that understandably anchor her to where she currently lives. I completely respect that and don’t view it as a negative. It’s just not the life I see for myself.

Meanwhile, I’m in the middle of a career transition, helping care for family members, and actively planning a move in the next few years. I know I don’t want to build my future around where I currently live, and I know I’m not in the ideal place for a serious relationship right now.

The confusing part is that I genuinely enjoy being around her. If I ignore the long-term compatibility issues, everything else feels easy.

We’re not exclusive. We haven’t defined the relationship. Nobody has made promises to the other person.

My concern is whether continuing to date someone is unfair if I’ve already concluded that I don’t see a long-term future.
Part of me thinks it’s okay to keep getting to know each other while being honest about my situation.

Another part of me worries that if I already know the answer is “no” long-term, then continuing to date her is just delaying the inevitable.

Has anyone been in a situation like this? At what point does continuing to date someone become unfair?