Was this situation sexual abuse? (TW)
As a kid, my (1.5 years) older brother consistently bullied me and did sexually abuse me through indecent exposure and non-consensually exposing me to porn. But there's another incident that is unclear to me.
When we were pre-teens, there were multiple times when we'd be home alone and he'd start wrestling with me. It would be completely silent and not at all playful. He'd wrestle me to the ground and pin me down. He'd pull me back into it when I'd get back up. We have never spoken about it, even now that we're adults, which is odd to me because if it was just silly wrestling we did as kids, you'd think it wouldn't be a topic we'd never revisit or discuss. This is especially odd to me because most of what we do when we're together is reminisce about fun, silly kid stuff we did in childhood.
I guess I'm confused on if this qualifies because he technically didn't do anything overtly sexual, but every time this happened I was very worried that it was going to turn into that. I remember wondering "is he going to r*pe me?" multiple times during these situations.
So I guess my question is, can something be sexual abuse if the other person's actions aren't overtly sexual, but you're worried that they're acting in a sexual way?