u/macbookpro_2015

I made a post a few months ago about how a certain website takes a deep dive into the attitudes of yts. This was a mistake because nobody needs to look at it anyway and the mentality of that website got into my head. I then spilled its poison into this forum over the last few days while thinking I was making meaningful contributions. I'll refrain from posting and commenting until I fix myself and can actually say something of value.

"The racist secretly suspects that the races are equal - the antiracist secretly suspects they are not."

The way they carry themselves, their facial expressions, and how they talk are all grossly out of proportion with the state of their lives. And nine times out of ten they're in a high status job, know a lot of white people, are married to a white person, and emulate whiteness as much as possible. They're like this because they're drawn to power and status but a part of them is also terrified of what the people in their cutthroat white environments might do to them. It's quite pitiful.

E.g. if she's watching riley reid she'll imagine herself as riley reid. It's a kind of immersive lesbianism.

The media and the history books do a great job of depicting racism as something that ignorant, low-class old people did in the old days. Most people are ageist, ableist, classist, and look down on the past so when they're seen as racist and feel racist, they feel that it lowers them to the same level as those kinds of people. So that completely incinerates their self-conception of being young (or young-spirited), fresh, hip, trendy, enlightened, humanitarian, refined, cosmopolitan, and in the age of now. H.P. Lovecraft was racist even for his time and he often called himself "the old gentleman" or "grandpa" so that hidden feeling's been around for a while.

Also being anti-racist is seen as transcending one's inner beast so when someone says X race is the most racist they might be saying that they're the most animalistic.

Trigger warning: vague mention of wanting to give up on life

They have the monopoly on everything - morals, ethics, wisdom, philosophy, civics, etiquette, socialization, history, tradition, categorization, art, music, media, fashion, beauty, sex, love, romance, eroticism, aesthetics, architecture, design, government and politics, leadership, humanitariansm, lifestyle, entertainment, war, world peace, power, money, materials, intelligence, knowledge, education, science, technology, engineering, even how we talk and the shirt on my back. Everything and everyone is defined by them. They decide what's worth paying attention to and what isn't. Everyone has to live by their blueprint. It's like they control every single fiber of my body and there's nothing left of who I would've been if I was brought up in my native land, absent of Western presence. Almost everything I am is ultimately because of them and sometimes it feels like we only exist to make themselves feel better about themselves. Yes my family is successful in the societal sense but at what cost? There's a part of me that sees my own tribe as perpetual children under white people's provision. I might as well turn into dust if I'm going to spend the rest of my life with this mindset.

Anecdote:

I was watching a video in class a few months ago and one of the scenes was a girl either dressing or undressing (I can't remember). The girl sitting next to me just snapped her eyes and head up to the screen. I don't think the video was even in her peripheral vision before she did that. She also had an ex-boyfriend and probably a current boyfriend at the time (This was in October or November).

Not from physical danger but the notion that we can only ever be judged outside of the few moments where they see us as entertainment and self-soothing (crumbs of kindness)

That's what Europeans like to say but the US and Canada have their own equivalent. They can say "at least we're not Europe" but they're probably all the same in how they view and react to non-whites. Granted I only know what the US is like and I went to a Catholic high school where the racism was probably more similar to European racism but I think I can assume that at the end of the day, they see us as anything but human like themselves on either side of the ocean. I'm not sure about Australia or New Zealand.

My mom's cousin lives in the UK and used to live in Italy and one of her friends used to live in France but neither of them have seemed to tell her anything truthful about the racial climates there.

I'm curious because young-adult media from the 2010s and earlier seemed to portray an image of equal attraction between the sexes (e.g. 2000s chick flicks and 2010s romance novels). I don't know about now.

Was there a feeling of one-sidedness back then as well or was there still a notion of women being attracted to men in a straightforward way?

They get enough pleasure and stimulation from themselves.

And I'm pissed at media for sprinkling the image of mutual adoration (not just contemporary media but all of the romanticism from earlier times).

I read about this multiple times a few years ago and I used to just be like "hurr durr ok". I'm so dense.

When they say stuff like "her shorts are too short" or "her chest is so flat" they're really ogling at each other but sublimating their infatuation into mannerisms that make them seem disapproving of other women (sublimation is a psychological technique where you express something simple and usually embarrassing and socially unacceptable in a more "proper" way).

There's a part of me that wants to believe that it's just a big inside joke among them.