u/madatedeus

Was playing LW defending Circuit Royal and just have to vent about this. My Zarya was in absolute critical health where I had no time to charge another petal, so by instinct I pulled her in but at the same time she decided to grav. She just stared at me and said “good job” and proceeded to throw the rest of the game. She refused to even leave spawn after dying and said we lost the match because of me. Mind you, this is AFTER the weird update where they can jump out of grip so she literally could have done that and things would have been fine. I truly wish they made the change where we can cancel grip ourselves just to get the utility out of the bubble cleanse because it’s so annoying to deal with salty players who think you did a bad grip just because you stopped them in their tracks. Just wanted to vent about this here because I’m hoping the devs are reading the subreddits to get a clue of how games are going lol.

As the title says, I (28m) feel as though I can’t find myself wanting sex anymore, whether it be with my partner (24m) or anyone else for the matter. We’ve been together for almost 4 years now, and he’s my best friend. The love we have is very special and something that I don’t think I can find with anyone else, but lately I’ve been losing all interest in sex after we attempted to open our relationship.

I never wanted an open relationship to begin with, he was the one to propose it. This unsurprisingly happened after we went through months of conflict once I found out he had been cheating on me. He confessed to me that he was a sex addict, and he even confessed to family and friends about that as well so he could build a network of accountability and really try his best to recover and change, and I can see that he genuinely loves me and wants to be with me. That is until last week once we decided to stop being open. He told me he went to see someone and got catfished, which made him reflect and realize he only wanted things to be open because he wanted the novelty of having sex with strangers. He said, and I quote, “I just wanted to find the perfect guy that I always dreamed of, someone who I could fuck in whatever way I wanted” which felt like a sucker punch to my gut because it really confirmed the fears I had about opening up the relationship.

He told me he was never satisfied no matter how good our sex was. He told me our sex is great to try to make me feel better. Said he never made love the way that we do and that he’s only had sex with others without the same feelings involved, but that only pushed me away even more. I’ve become bitter, insecure, and so self conscious about my body. I’m currently dealing with a chronic back injury too so I can’t go to the gym or do any intense exercises, so I’m watching my figure slowly get less fit and I have almost no sex drive from the intense pain, which makes me feel even more terrified that he might just relapse and find someone behind me like he’s done before.

Sometimes I wish I could end things and move on, but we’re in a situation where we are unable to break up for a myriad of reasons that got entangled along the way. One time I went through his messages to find one saying “I think of you when I’m fucking my partner” and I can’t help but feel so dehumanized and betrayed. Sex with him feels more like a performance to satisfy his porn needs than it feels like an act of pleasure and fun for us both. I’m the bottom and he always tells me he doesn’t like for me to cum, and that he only wants me to cum when he’s fucking me but I have yet to have that happen, and the longer I’m in the relationship the more neglected I feel.

I just wanted to vent about this here. Being partnered with a sex and porn addict feels extremely challenging and I don’t know how much longer I can do this without breaking down.