u/maiduwu

This is SmashRage. Why does nobody call Ganondorf out on his bullshit? This is the place. Are you scared? I’m not. Ganondorf is a disgusting character that is one of the least fun to fight.

Whether Ganondorf evades hatred by being pitied or respected it doesn’t matter; he deserves neither.

Everyone’s always saying ‘hE’s SlOw’ as a way to justify his absurdity. First of all, a good few of his moves come out alarmingly fast. He isn’t completely out of swift options. His tilts (with the obvious exception of his up tilt) come out much faster than the rest of his kit, while still being powerful enough to win trades.

ALL of his moves do RIDICULOUS damage. You only need to land SIX to earn a stock. SIX moves or fewer earns a kill. More often than not, it only takes THREE.

Starting with his stupid aerial, the biggest fish to fry, his NAir is his best move, so all passive gameplay is spamming it and hoping it connects. Lame as hell when it fails and infuriating when it succeeds.

On stage, his side special command grab deals 12% and loops into ITSELF and combos into ANY of his smash attacks, all of which kill at FIFTY. If you roll too quickly for a read, his UNCHARGED down smash does NINTEEN PERCENT (31% total). Even if the Ganondorf player in question can’t read your roll, he can just down tilt for another TWELVE PERCENT free damage, for a total of 24%, and KILLS. It can be used when he’s ledge to GUARANTEE a free kill if it connects. No effort at all. No frills. If you’re on your last stock near the edge, he wins. You plummet into the void and have no way to recover.

When you’re on ledge, his neutral air covers if you jump, or he can warlock punch to punish your roll with a kill. You either jump and are punished or stay at ledge, which makes you vulnerable to his down tilt. There’s NOTHING you can do.

Don’t get me started on his down air.

It does TWENTY-TWO PERCENT. When it hits sweet spot, it kills offstage before TWENTY.

BEFORE TWENTY. THIS PUTS PYRA’S SMASH ATTACKS TO SHAME.

Sour spot kills by sideways launch at SIXTY. You can’t whiff the move because its hitbox is MASSIVE. Onstage, It kills by ricochet onstage before NINETY.

When you’re landing, his huge smash attacks punish your landing. They NEVER MISS because they’re so big and they can’t be dodged because they have so many active frames, and even if not, they could wait until you mistime your dodge to hit you with the full attack.

His moves so rarely miss due to their ENORMOUS range, so although he has no true combos, he can take entire stocks with hardly a blow to his health.

Rarely does anyone use his Volcano kick, but when it hits, it’s devastating AND makes you feel terrible. You might just be bad, but it feels every kill Ganon earns is cheap and every kill you secure is equally cheap.

There’s NO satisfaction from killing him because it always seems to be due to their fault or your moveset than your ability.

If you land a projectile or do anything else he can’t counter, you feel carried and skillless. Gimping his recovery feels hollow. Cheap. Everything right is unrewarding.

Meanwhile, when you play as him, his weaknesses SHINE. Suddenly, all of his moves are slow and terrible and never connect.

He’s terrible to play as and against. No, he is not ‘free win’. Every second of the game you are in constant threat of losing your stock at THIRTY PERCENT. Every mistake is a potential STOCK TAKEN.

So what if he has trouble landing moves? He only needs to land TWELVE to win the game. I’m not saying he’s broken, I’m just saying that there’s no way everyone’s fine with his bullshit. Being made doesn’t excuse you from being criticized.

I. HATE. GANONDORF.

Edit: no, I am serious.

Edit II: no, I don’t lose to him, but he makes winning stale. It’s stressful to fight a character so obviously bad that everything he does right makes you seem all the more bad. Getting hit by one of his clunky moves makes you predictable. Because he has so many flaws, everything he does right is your fault. Ganondorf, through his weakness, only highlights your weaknesses.

All of his moves have end lag. Dodge one and you get a free punish. He has no mixups. His recovery is predictable. You can outspeed some of his moves by grabbing after he has initiated it.

When you’re winning, it feels like you’re kicking a kid in a wheelchair. It’s a fight so unbalanced that it isn’t fun. You aren’t proving anything by winning against him.

On the contrary, if he takes a stock, or a game, you’ve nothing to blame. Losing to Ganondorf means you’re pathetic. The worst-of-the-worst. And when you start making mistakes, mistakes pile up.

Winning against Ganondorf feels pathetic. Losing to Ganondorf is even worse. There is no good outcome.

Edit III: Gonna say this again. I don’t lose to Ganondorf often. It is a terrible rarity. Part of why I dislike him is that there isn’t a shadow of glory when you win. Even against other bad characters, you feel a little good when you win. Winning against Ganondorf is empty. It is not rewarding to win, but feels is terrible to lose. There is no positive.

You either win in a landslide, in which case everything feels stale, undeserved, eke out a victory, or lose, in which case your flaws are all the more apparent. I hate Ganondorf.

TL DR: his moves are annoying. They don’t land, but the threat of it is omnipresent. Any good you do is by fault of Ganondorf’s design, not your skill. Any good Ganon does is by skill. Fighting against a character who has no frills leaves nothing to blame your mistakes on. When you win, you won because you fought Ganondorf. When you lose, it means you’re terrible.

The end of the game is always a disappointment, and the middle is wracked with the knowledge that one mistake costs your stock if you don’t know what you’re doing.

Edit IV: damn. The comments are 50-50 ‘wow. This trash bag is losing to Ganon? Pathetic’ and ‘genuine, burning rage on r/smashrage? Beautiful.’ with no in-between.

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Blue has openly stated (and proved) that under his voting booth is dynamite, rigged to explode and kill everyone who voted for him, if he loses the election. His base is located far enough away from civilization (and the red base) that the only damages would be the death of every voter who went to his voting base.

Red offers, if you vote for her, complete and honest protection in her voting base from Blue during election time, with no strings attached. Doing so might help her win the election, and if she wins, all Blue voters will be blown up.