u/makeupjunkie77

I'm looking for outside perspective on whether I'm overreacting or if it's time to move on from my job.

I'm the Finance Manager for a growing construction company. Although my title is " Finance Manager," I'm part of the company's Leadership Team alongside the CEO and COO and participate in strategic planning, leadership meetings, and company-wide decision-making. Over the last few years, I've built much of the Finance Department, including budgeting, cash flow forecasting, financial reporting, KPI reporting, WIP analysis, AIA billing oversight, SOPs, and financial controls.

The problem is that I've never felt truly trusted. My recommendations and knowledge have been questioned for years, long before the recent issues. It often feels like I have to defend basic financial concepts rather than collaborate with leadership. I will add that I do not have a Finance degree, I have a bachelor’s in Healthcare Management. However, the owners promoted me to this role, so to be constantly questioned and untrusted is becoming increasingly frustrating. I’ll add that the co-owner, (the company is owned by a husband and wife) was the “CFO” prior to her handing the finance department over to me. I took over her role and responsibilities and so much more.

Things became more complicated when my husband left the company. Before he left, he was publicly yelled at and demeaned by the owner on multiple occasions. I've also been yelled at during meetings myself. My assistant is terrified of the owner and never wants to be in meetings or conversations with him. He has zero emotional regulation and is often belittling someone in a public setting, however, the situation with my husband was the worst. I know I’m biased, but I’m being truthful. My husband began struggling with his mental health because of the toxic work environment.

Side note: my colleagues on the leadership team have called me recently to ask if I also struggle with anxiety leading up to our weekly Leadership meeting. This is all because the owner is aggressive and is always yelling at someone or making things incredibly difficult. Just another example of how toxic this man is.

So, after my husband resigned, ownership called a meeting with me and questioned why I hadn't told them he was considering leaving 6 months prior. They found out about this after my husband left. They also raised concerns about potential conflicts of interest and stated they believed restrictions still applied to him because of his compensation level and position, even though he never signed a non-compete agreement. I found myself repeatedly answering questions about hypothetical things he might do in the future rather than being evaluated on my own job performance.

There have also been situations that made me feel personally undervalued. For example, a major leadership presentation that I was expected to participate in was scheduled on my son's birthday. I didn't expect the company to change its plans for me, but I did expect some level of understanding or concern. Instead, it felt like the expectation was simply that work came first. That moment forced me to think seriously about whether my priorities still aligned with the company's expectations. I’ll add that they know us pretty well on a personal level, and they know that my kids come first. They hired me knowing I homeschool my kids and they come first. So this isn’t some huge surprise that being away from my son on his 9th birthday is going to a be an issue for me.

I've also feel like my loyalty is being questioned because of my husband's decisions. In my mind, there is no question, my husband comes first. But they don’t think that’s how it should be. At the same time, I continue to carry significant responsibility for the company's financial operations, participate on the leadership team, and provide strategic financial guidance, but I don't believe my title or compensation reflects the value or level of work I'm providing. It hasn’t for a long time, because again, I don’t have the Finance degree to back me.

What I'm struggling with is that this isn't really about one event. It's years of having my expertise questioned, seeing employees publicly criticized, being pulled into issues unrelated to my role, feeling expected to prioritize work over important family moments, and feeling increasingly undervalued despite my contributions.

Would you stay and try to work through this, or would you take it as a sign that the relationship and trust have broken down beyond repair?

I'm looking for outside perspective on whether I'm overreacting or if it's time to move on from my job.

I'm the Finance Manager for a growing construction company. Although my title is " Finance Manager," I'm part of the company's Leadership Team alongside the CEO and COO and participate in strategic planning, leadership meetings, and company-wide decision-making. Over the last few years, I've built much of the Finance Department, including budgeting, cash flow forecasting, financial reporting, KPI reporting, WIP analysis, AIA billing oversight, SOPs, and financial controls.

The problem is that I've never felt truly trusted. My recommendations and knowledge have been questioned for years, long before the recent issues. It often feels like I have to defend basic financial concepts rather than collaborate with leadership. I will add that I do not have a Finance degree, I have a bachelor’s in Healthcare Management. However, the owners promoted me to this role, so to be constantly questioned and untrusted is becoming increasingly frustrating. I’ll add that the co-owner, (the company is owned by a husband and wife) was the “CFO” prior to her handing the finance department over to me. I took over her role and responsibilities and so much more.

Things became more complicated when my husband left the company. Before he left, he was publicly yelled at and demeaned by the owner on multiple occasions. I've also been yelled at during meetings myself. My assistant is terrified of the owner and never wants to be in meetings or conversations with him. He has zero emotional regulation and is often belittling someone in a public setting, however, the situation with my husband was the worst. I know I’m biased, but I’m being truthful. My husband began struggling with his mental health because of the toxic work environment.

Side note: my colleagues on the leadership team have called me recently to ask if I also struggle with anxiety leading up to our weekly Leadership meeting. This is all because the owner is aggressive and is always yelling at someone or making things incredibly difficult. Just another example of how toxic this man is.

So, after my husband resigned, ownership called a meeting with me and questioned why I hadn't told them he was considering leaving 6 months prior. They found out about this after my husband left. They also raised concerns about potential conflicts of interest and stated they believed restrictions still applied to him because of his compensation level and position, even though he never signed a non-compete agreement. I found myself repeatedly answering questions about hypothetical things he might do in the future rather than being evaluated on my own job performance.

There have also been situations that made me feel personally undervalued. For example, a major leadership presentation that I was expected to participate in was scheduled on my son's birthday. I didn't expect the company to change its plans for me, but I did expect some level of understanding or concern. Instead, it felt like the expectation was simply that work came first. That moment forced me to think seriously about whether my priorities still aligned with the company's expectations. I’ll add that they know us pretty well on a personal level, and they know that my kids come first. They hired me knowing I homeschool my kids and they come first. So this isn’t some huge surprise that being away from my son on his 9th birthday is going to a be an issue for me.

I've also feel like my loyalty is being questioned because of my husband's decisions. In my mind, there is no question, my husband comes first. But they don’t think that’s how it should be. At the same time, I continue to carry significant responsibility for the company's financial operations, participate on the leadership team, and provide strategic financial guidance, but I don't believe my title or compensation reflects the value or level of work I'm providing. It hasn’t for a long time, because again, I don’t have the Finance degree to back me.

What I'm struggling with is that this isn't really about one event. It's years of having my expertise questioned, seeing employees publicly criticized, being pulled into issues unrelated to my role, feeling expected to prioritize work over important family moments, and feeling increasingly undervalued despite my contributions.

Would you stay and try to work through this, or would you take it as a sign that the relationship and trust have broken down beyond repair?