u/maxnet_

I’m 26F and currently in the arranged marriage process. I’ve already had one arranged marriage prospect that went quite far, but it didn’t work out. Before that, I was also in a long-term relationship that ended, so my family has been pushing me to seriously consider marriage now.
There’s currently a guy I’m talking to through the arranged marriage setup. He’s genuinely decent. He communicates well, is respectful, seems family-oriented and has a stable personality. On paper, there’s really nothing wrong with him.
My problem is… I find him boring.
I don’t particularly look forward to talking to him. His sense of humour doesn’t really work for me, and I don’t feel that “I want to know this person more” feeling. I’m not repulsed by him or anything like that. I just don’t find him particularly interesting.
At the same time, there’s another guy I’ve been casually seeing/hanging out with. We’re not in a committed relationship and nothing physical has happened. He’s about four years older than me, Indian working in the UK, and he is back here because of his visa situation. He’s nice, and I enjoy spending time with him.
However, we are clear we don’t see a real future. He wants something more physical/romantic than I do, and with the uncertainty around his job, location and visa, I don’t think this is realistically going anywhere. So I’m planning to end that situation rather than keep it going when I know I don’t see a future.
And this is where I’m confused.
Should I give the arranged-marriage guy more of a chance because he’s decent and I might develop feelings over time? Or is “I don’t find this person interesting and don’t particularly enjoy talking to him” already enough reason to say no?
I’m also worried that after one failed relationship and one failed arranged-marriage situation, I’m starting to look at marriage as a process of elimination, “this guy is decent, so maybe I should just say yes.”
I don’t want to do that. But I also don’t know if I’m expecting too much by wanting to actually be interested in the person I marry.

What should I do😭

I’m 26F and currently in the arranged marriage process. I’ve already had one arranged marriage prospect that went quite far, but it didn’t work out. Before that, I was also in a long-term relationship that ended, so my family has been pushing me to seriously consider marriage now.
There’s currently a guy I’m talking to through the arranged marriage setup. He’s genuinely decent. He communicates well, is respectful, seems family-oriented and has a stable personality. On paper, there’s really nothing wrong with him.
My problem is… I find him boring.
I don’t particularly look forward to talking to him. His sense of humour doesn’t really work for me, and I don’t feel that “I want to know this person more” feeling. I’m not repulsed by him or anything like that. I just don’t find him particularly interesting.
At the same time, there’s another guy I’ve been casually seeing/hanging out with. We’re not in a committed relationship and nothing physical has happened. He’s about four years older than me, Indian working in the UK, and he is back here because of his visa situation. He’s nice, and I enjoy spending time with him.
However, we are clear we don’t see a real future. He wants something more physical/romantic than I do, and with the uncertainty around his job, location and visa, I don’t think this is realistically going anywhere. So I’m planning to end that situation rather than keep it going when I know I don’t see a future.
And this is where I’m confused.
Should I give the arranged-marriage guy more of a chance because he’s decent and I might develop feelings over time? Or is “I don’t find this person interesting and don’t particularly enjoy talking to him” already enough reason to say no?
I’m also worried that after one failed relationship and one failed arranged-marriage situation, I’m starting to look at marriage as a process of elimination — “this guy is decent, so maybe I should just say yes.”
I don’t want to do that. But I also don’t know if I’m expecting too much by wanting to actually be interested in the person I marry.
For those who have been through arranged marriage: how much of a spark/interest did you expect before saying yes? Did attraction and emotional connection develop later, or did you know relatively early that you wanted to keep getting to know the person?