u/meloncholycalling

Then why be so weird and distant.

You would at least interact with me here and there.

You like me but you can’t because of my situation. At least from what I’ve heard? But if you knew the situation more in depth I swear you’d be fighting to show me how you feel.

I can admire you not wanting to cross boundaries. I’m the same way. I’m not one to break a moral code. But also, again the dynamic of things changes. Honestly, I’m not even asking for you to be like “ hey. I like you. Let’s fucking run full speed and see what happens “ more like.

“ hey. I see you. Tell me what’s happened. I’m here for you” just show some interest.

You’ve been sly with comments in the past. I catch them. At least I think? Idk dude you’re so confusing and that’s what I hate. My brain doesn’t do well with hot and cold. It’s all I’ve dealt with.

So just TELL ME. Don’t be scared or nervous. Nothing else has to change right now. I just need you to tell me and stop being so avoidant.

Then why be so weird and distant.

You would at least interact with me here and there.

You like me but you can’t because of my situation. At least from what I’ve heard? But if you knew the situation more in depth I swear you’d be fighting to show me how you feel.

I can admire you not wanting to cross boundaries. I’m the same way. I’m not one to break a moral code. But also, again the dynamic of things changes. Honestly, I’m not even asking for you to be like “ hey. I like you. Let’s fucking run full speed and see what happens “ more like.

“ hey. I see you. Tell me what’s happened. I’m here for you” just show some interest.

You’ve been sly with comments in the past. I catch them. At least I think? Idk dude you’re so confusing and that’s what I hate. My brain doesn’t do well with hot and cold. It’s all I’ve dealt with.

So just TELL ME. Don’t be scared or nervous. Nothing else has to change right now. I just need you to tell me and stop being so avoidant.

sunny skies with scattered rain today.
the kind of weather that feels confused about itself.
maybe that’s why it feels familiar.

there’s distance between us now
and it sits heavy in my chest
like a song stuck on the wrong note
never resolving.

today held so many things worth celebrating
small victories
beautiful moments
pieces of a life i once begged the universe to give me

and still
beneath all of it
was the ache of wishing you were here to witness it with me.

i think that’s the part i hate most.

how naturally my mind reaches for you.
how every good thing becomes softer at the edges
because you aren’t standing inside of it with me.

some days i convince myself
there’s something real here.
something pulling at both of us
quietly
violently
like gravity pretending to be coincidence.

other days
i feel insane for even thinking it.

like maybe i invented entire galaxies
from a few lingering glances
a few moments of connection
a few conversations that simply meant more to me
than they ever did to you.

and i don’t want to become
the girl who mistakes longing for destiny.

i don’t want to sit here
romanticizing silence
while you sleep peacefully
untouched by any of this.

but the truth is
the what if’s have started haunting me.

because if you feel this too
even a little
i wish you’d say it.

and if you don’t
please say that instead.

give this feeling somewhere to go.
because lately i stay awake replaying everything
trying to decode the space between words
trying to find proof
that i didn’t imagine the electricity of it all.

Let me sleep.

sunny skies with scattered rain today.
the kind of weather that feels confused about itself.
maybe that’s why it feels familiar.

there’s distance between us now
and it sits heavy in my chest
like a song stuck on the wrong note
never resolving.

today held so many things worth celebrating
small victories
beautiful moments
pieces of a life i once begged the universe to give me

and still
beneath all of it
was the ache of wishing you were here to witness it with me.

i think that’s the part i hate most.

how naturally my mind reaches for you.
how every good thing becomes softer at the edges
because you aren’t standing inside of it with me.

some days i convince myself
there’s something real here.
something pulling at both of us
quietly
violently
like gravity pretending to be coincidence.

other days
i feel insane for even thinking it.

like maybe i invented entire galaxies
from a few lingering glances
a few moments of connection
a few conversations that simply meant more to me
than they ever did to you.

and i don’t want to become
the girl who mistakes longing for destiny.

i don’t want to sit here
romanticizing silence
while you sleep peacefully
untouched by any of this.

but the truth is
the what if’s have started haunting me.

because if you feel this too
even a little
i wish you’d say it.

and if you don’t
please say that instead.

give this feeling somewhere to go.
because lately i stay awake replaying everything
trying to decode the space between words
trying to find proof
that i didn’t imagine the electricity of it all.

let me sleep.

i wish i could know you
deeper

more intimate
beyond the trauma you’ve shared
beyond the fragments
and small moments
we’ve managed to find in each other

i want to explore you
slowly
like tracing constellations
with cold hands in the dark

i want to chase stars with you
watch the moon change shape
over and over again
until we understand
that some things are still beautiful
even when they are always becoming something else

it’s been raining all day

and i keep thinking
how badly i wish
we could sit outside together
saying nothing for a while
just listening

to the rain
to the silence between us
to each other

i wish i could know you
deeper

more intimate
beyond the trauma you’ve shared
beyond the fragments
and small moments
we’ve managed to find in each other

i want to explore you
slowly
like tracing constellations
with cold hands in the dark

i want to chase stars with you
watch the moon change shape
over and over again
until we understand
that some things are still beautiful
even when they are always becoming something else

it’s been raining all day

and i keep thinking
how badly i wish
we could sit outside together
saying nothing for a while
just listening

to the rain
to the silence between us
to each other

The way he treats me. My friend told me you mentioned it to her. That felt validating. To know you don’t even know all of it. But still SEE it. When you opened up about your ex I was shaking my head because YES I know. I see you too and I’ve been through it, literally word for word I’ve been through it. But obviously I couldn’t say it out loud.

Just know I see you and I hear you. And I know how you feel. I feel it too.

Why are you do distant with me though? I wish I had clarity on that. Idk. I hope you’re okay. I’m doing my best.