r/Unsent_Unread_Unheard

My fucken personality ALWAYS gets me in trouble oh and my soft eyes!
Sometimes I do get good trouble ain’t gonna lie.

I don’t share my eyes with everyone cuz, they get lost. It’s like they go into a transe and they just wanna stare and it makes me uncomfortable. Plus I don’t want them having feelings: When I speak with people I don’t stare at them ofc im polite and respectful but tend to look in small glances elsewhere! I look at them but their eyes I don’t look into.

I’m sorry if the twinkle of my eye has hypnotized you! U will always remember them! They wil haunt you. Didn’t wanna do that to u. I really do Love yah. Ur eyes haunt me also!

Told u I wasn’t like the rest! I’m so different… so are you. Do we mirror each other. I’m Definitely a keeper….Cuz my kinda love isnt for the weak, or the people who fail to take risks.

You know why cuz now I look for everything I deprived my self from!

I too look for those with soft eyes!
Baby I fell for ur soft eyes!
They make me dream of dreams that my mind goes into every possibility imaginable to any existence:

That is the effect u have on me.
It’s not Obsession sweetheart
It’s an unconditional type of love that has no bounds or limits. It’s never been written or thought of into any existence!
Yes they exist.
My love for u doesn’t come with conditions and it’s timeless.

We’re 2 souls that have been reunited in each realm of existence and possibility. Everything about u feels familiar.

I loved u in that life
I love u now in this life
And
I will forever love u into the next

And remember this sweetheart
We cannot ever run away from it… from this. I prayed about u. I don’t care what u think. There is reason behind our story!
it doesn’t matter who comes into our lives…others will be there, come and go to fill a void
Just know my dear Mirrored Soulmate
For me
You will always be the one!

I want u to be part of my existence now. I’ll take that at any capacity.
Things take time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, even our creator took time to create.

So
Let’s not rush it
Let’s treasure it
Let’s add into it
Let’s just enjoy it
Let’s enjoy the now

Deal…

💙🙏

I see the effort.

You show up. You’ve made time for me. For us. To build something.

I’ve been sweet to you and you me. We light up each other’s lives. Your smile is so bright and warms my soul like the first ray of sun that breaks out of the clouds after a long cold winter storm.

But I’ve rejected you. Time and time again. I’ve hurt you. I don’t like seeing you hurt. The last thing I want to do is hurt you or hold you back.

I’m so broken. So many missing pieces of the puzzle. There’s a life that I want for us. How am I suppose to lead? I only want the best for you. I want to see you thrive and be happy.

I will cherish the time that we’ve had. The conversations. The moments when we connected. Priceless. Invaluable. The only times I felt whole.

What was the meaning of it all? Perhaps the universe has allowed us to cross paths to remind ourselves of what it’s like to experience unconditional love in its purest form…

Kinda like receiving extra curly fries when only ordering regular fries…

OR connecting to complimentary Wi-Fi that is far reaching, and yet, performant…

OR just two individuals being present for each other without anything exchanged; not words, money, or even an awkward glance. Just time. Time, our most valuable and finite asset.

You have a special place in my heart that I visit often. Now go on and find your person. Crush your career goals. Continue growing and being this wonderful soul that attracts others and brings light to everyone’s lives.

I thought i knew you.
You like apples, right?
You like blue because of the ocean, right?
Its your favorite color, right?
You always think twice before you speak,
And you always curl in your sleep.
But i guess i was wrong.
You like pineapples now,
And i guess it was green, not blue.
You’re reckless,
And you sleep like a solider.
Never lie to me again.
Do you really love me,
Or was that a lie too?

I still stand ten toes down that I didn't send that message, but your behavior is finally taking its toll on me. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but I'm finally accepting it.

Looking back at everything you said/did has caused me so much turmoil. I genuinely think that you took some sort of sick pleasure in hurting me. And I've been enlightened that you were in fact emotionally/verbally abusing me for a long time. I was given a list of abusive behavior and you check every box.

I don't care if you see this, and btw I did tell you about my abuser, but you brushed me off, ignored me, and probably attributed it to splitting. You never did listen to anything I said anyways.

I still doubt that you care about me, and I'm tired of these targeted cyber attacks. You and her share some of these traits and I honestly wish I had seen it before. I wasn't overreacting and you did abuse me.

I always thought it was weird how you immediately jumped to the worst conclusion in every situation, but now I'm realizing you were just covering up your own behavior to save your reputation.

I can't stop shaking. I know it's stupid, but it's real to me.

1. \*\*Lies a lot\*\*

   \* Often dishonest or makes up stories

2. \*\*Always the victim\*\*

   \* Never takes responsibility for their actions

3. \*\*Backstabber\*\*

   \* Talks badly about others behind their back

4. \*\*Constant drama\*\*

   \* Always creates chaos and conflict

5. \*\*Highly manipulative\*\*

   \* Uses others for personal gain

6. \*\*Anger issues\*\*

   \* Easily loses temper and lashes out

7. \*\*No boundaries\*\*

   \* Disrespects personal space and limits

8. \*\*Never apologizes\*\*

   \* Refuses to admit when they’re wrong

9. \*\*Criticizes/belittles you\*\*

Gives unwarranted criticism and uses their words harshly

10. \*\*Ignores you/uses silent treatment/doesn't listen to what you have to say\*\*

Doesn't listen when you talk, is unwilling to fix problems, and ignores you.

Today was my first therapy appointment.

We talked about all the recent loss first. My dog. Relationships. The ghosting. The feeling of constantly having to hold myself together while everything around me keeps disappearing.

Then we started digging into my past and found a pattern I somehow never fully saw until today.

Sudden loss. Not just death. People too.

People making me feel safe, loved, wanted…then suddenly they’re gone. Sometimes physically. Sometimes emotionally. Sometimes they stay just long enough for me to believe them before ripping themselves away without warning.

And honestly? Realizing how many times that’s happened hurt worse than I expected.

Because once you notice the pattern, you start realizing why certain things destroy you more than they should. Why silence feels unbearable. Why ghosting feels like grief. Why distance immediately feels permanent.

I think part of me has spent years waiting for the moment people leave.

Therapy was hard today. Not because of one specific thing…just because I finally connected dots I didn’t want connected.

I still stand ten toes down that I didn't send that message, but your behavior is finally taking its toll on me. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but I'm finally accepting it.

Looking back at everything you said/did has caused me so much turmoil. I genuinely think that you took some sort of sick pleasure in hurting me. And I've been enlightened that you were in fact emotionally/verbally abusing me for a long time. I was given a list of abusive behavior and you check every box.

I don't care if you see this, and btw I did tell you about my abuser, but you brushed me off, ignored me, and probably attributed it to splitting. You never did listen to anything I said anyways.

I still doubt that you care about me, and I'm tired of these targeted cyber attacks. You and her share some of these traits and I honestly wish I had seen it before. I wasn't overreacting and you did abuse me.

I always thought it was weird how you immediately jumped to the worst conclusion in every situation, but now I'm realizing you were just covering up your own behavior to save your reputation.

I can't stop shaking. I know it's stupid, but it's real to me.

1. **Lies a lot**

   * Often dishonest or makes up stories

2. **Always the victim**

   * Never takes responsibility for their actions

3. **Backstabber**

   * Talks badly about others behind their back

4. **Constant drama**

   * Always creates chaos and conflict

5. **Highly manipulative**

   * Uses others for personal gain

6. **Anger issues**

   * Easily loses temper and lashes out

7. **No boundaries**

   * Disrespects personal space and limits

8. **Never apologizes**

   * Refuses to admit when they’re wrong

9. **Criticizes/belittles you**

Gives unwarranted criticism and uses their words harshly

10. **Ignores you/uses silent treatment/doesn't listen to what you have to say**

Doesn't listen when you talk, is unwilling to fix problems, and ignores you.

There was a boy inside the man
Those years had carved his face.
He wore his wounds like armor, ran from love, from truth from grace.

And there was a girl who loved him
With trembling, open hands, the kind of love that stays too long
And still somehow withstands.

They bruised each other slowly, through distance, fear, and pride.
Two hearts, reaching desperately while slowly pulled aside

He hurt her with his distance with shadows he concealed she hurt him with her sorrow with scars not fully healed.

But love remained between them
Like smoke after a flame,
Lingering in every room,
Whispering each name.

Then one day, he disappeared, move farther than the sky, so far she couldn’t follow him, no matter how she tried.

And now she walks through memories like always late at night, searching for the boys, she knew inside the man in flight.

In somewhere far beyond her reach, we’re lonely ocean start, he thinks about her constantly with an aching in his heart.

Because he loved her deeply too, though fear became his chain. A boy pretending to be strong while drowning in his pain

Now they are too distant stars still burning from the past, longing for the touch they lost, a love to fierce to last.

Yet somewhere in the quiet, dark,
Beneath regret and time
Their heart still calls across the world like like an unfinished rhyme.

I have been very weird lately. aggressive actually. punching walls, slamming desks and kicking the desk, biting and pulling on my pillow and wanting to pull on my hair while I saw how much hair I lost today when showering.

i have been so much in ny head, all alone, only talked to artificial intelligence since feb now.

i know its wrong but no kne else meets me that deep. ik thats fake w artificial intelligence but what can I do?

I love a girl, i really do, but eveydya I see hidden agendas behind my "selflessness". as in: I see that I give so much because part of me wants to fix others. because part of me thinks i have earn love. that if i give more, and the truth is i give alot and differently than most my age. im 17M. and i have alot of depth. alot of awareness..but I am also afraid this awareness is fleeting. that if I will be okay I will lose this. i will lose my depth.

the girl im talking abt, she says to me to love myself first as shes unsure of me and thinks that i am too much (indirectly) which is absolutely correct. its unfair of me to ask of her so much, to indirectly want her to be my ground or host or container.

and this is what makes me question my love and selflessness and giving. am I narcissict? did I ever love? am I capable of loving? do I even know how to love? do I even deserve to?

tomorrow i have an exam, annual, and i havent started studying. i dont even have a full 12 hours.

I am so fucked. the moment im alone without distractiong i want to pull my hair out. or I become anxious. i derealized the entire yesterday.

All I want is to be okay. All I want is to love people for who they are. all I want is to see people. all I want is to make people that matters to me feel less alone. all I want is to be kind. to love without expecting it back. to love. i want to love fully. I want to love without strings attached to what I give. I want to love with out ny love being the problem. I want to be okay. I dont know what to do. right now, I am writing this only to stop myself from kicking or pulling on my hair. please help me. I cant have professional help as due to stigma. and money.

What gives you the courage to talk to me?

How can I make you come up to me?

Questions that I’m too afraid to ask you.

Call me anything but a creep, but I beg of you just give me a peek.

I crave your attention; it makes me sick, sitting, waiting for you to arrive.

I want to smile and run up to you.

But being perceived with a crush (despite how beautiful you are) has never worked well for me growing up.

The stares of judgement and jealousy scare me.

The lies they spread, don’t consider them for a second.

Though I possess feminine features, I am a straight male.

I would *never* lie to you. Ask me a question, and I shall deliver the unvarnished truth, my love.

Are your sorrows too deep to carry alone?

Can I carry your weight of problems on top of my own?

My heart throbs, as much as my wrist aches.

Though your body is frail, I’ll never harm you, and I’ll never let you be impaired.

Give me one more chance, one more sign, one more greeting, merely one more possibility of me and you.

I promise I’ll act, I promise I’ll duel with my spine made of grass, and my heart made of glass.

Or rather I just need to hear you speak to me once more.

Show me it’s alive, given that your swain in distress is pining for you.

Which tower must I climb to reach you?

I really don’t. Because you only took the time to care about the side of him you could manipulate. The side of him that you could get to Bend to your Will.

I know he struggles, I know what kind of challenge is he faces. And what he needed was consistency, positive encouragement, a healthy routine, and someone who could look at him and see the things he needed help with so he could thrive also.

But that’s not what you gave him. You gave him absolute chaos. All you did was pick up his life and shake it like a snow globe. And he loved you so much that he would dive into resources He didn’t even have to make sure you felt secure and OK.

His heart is good. All he wants to do is help, to be useful, and to be loved and appreciated.

And because of this whole bullshit shit show the one living being that gave him consistent unconditional love is now somewhere in another state. And you can’t even find the time to help him get her back.

I wanted to like you, I wanted to support you as a couple despite my own feelings. But you couldn’t even handle him talking to me because I’m a female.

Now I can’t stand you. It doesn’t matter what kind of challenge is he faces. Nobody deserves the bullshit that you pulled. I hope I never see your face. Keep your chaos to yourself.. He doesn’t need that kind of bullshit. He needs steady, gentle, compassionate, and sacrifice equal to his own.

And I don’t care what anybody has to say about him. Because if people can complain about who he is when he’s facing some of the hardest things in the world, then they really can’t see the man underneath. You’d be amazed at what he’d be able to accomplish if he had the right kind of support. And staying up though 6 AM getting wasted every night. Isn’t it. Get your shit together and if you can’t be a healthy and positive influence in his life, leave him alone.

I love her more platonically than I could love anyone romantically.

I love her laugh, her smile. It lights up even the darkest days. I love her goofiness and her energy, and everything about her personality.

I notice when her smile drops really fast, or when she doesn't have her energy. I notice when she isn't okay. At least I think I do.

There's too many things she doesn't say. Things she doesn't trust anyone with. But I wish she would just tell me the things she can't say. I wish she would come to me with her problems. I would try everything in my power to help her. I wish she could see that I'm right here for her. Waiting and waiting everyday.

When I look for friends, I look for people like her. The same energy, the same personality. Maybe that's why I have no friends.

It hurts that we live so far apart. It hurts that we only meet every 4 years. It hurts that I can't do things with her, like go to the mall or get coffee. It hurts because everything I do, I wish she was here with me. Her energy makes even the most boring tasks, fun.

She means all these things, and she'll never know.

it’s crazy how silence can answer every question you were too scared to ask.
i really thought i would’ve heard something by now… anything. a text, a call, even anger.

instead i had to sit with the possibility that maybe there really was someone else the whole time.

i wanted us to build something real. a foundation. something healthy after all the chaos. but maybe disappearing was your closure.

and maybe my closure is finally accepting it and moving on.🖤

One final neon sign as I shout to you over the endless voices in the void. Before this, whatever “this” is dies quietly with a whimper.
We spoke of your passions, you listened and complimented me on mine and the gravity of that moment carried a weight that settled in my core. For a second we shared a look, but a moment, I recognized an unmistakeable glimmer
Of perhaps mutual curiosity?
Maybe hope?
Maybe nothing more than simple cordiality.
You spoke of how you’d shine if someone sat intently and I wonder if you realize that’s already me.
Your willing audience, your biggest fan.
The music we would make
Anyway, this letter will remain
Unsent,
unheard,
unread because I live in reality.

I think I’m finally learning that loving myself isn’t loud. It’s not posting quotes pretending I’m healed. It’s not “winning” a breakup. It’s not making someone regret losing me.

It’s smaller than that.

It’s laughing with my coworkers again.
It’s buying myself little things because I deserve them too.
It’s realizing I shouldn’t have to beg to be loved correctly.
It’s understanding that being ignored hurts, but abandoning myself to chase someone hurts worse.

I spent so long trying to prove I was worth staying for that I forgot I was already worth loving.

And honestly? I miss me.
The version of me that was funny and chaotic and excited about life instead of constantly anxious about whether someone cared enough to text back.

I’m still sad sometimes. I still have moments where I want to reach out. I still grieve people, memories, and the version of the future I made up in my head.

But I’m learning something important:
The people who truly love you won’t make you feel hard to love.

So now I’m putting that energy back into myself.
Into healing.
Into therapy.
Into friendships.
Into becoming someone I recognize again.

And slowly…through all the grief and chaos and disappointment…I’m starting to like myself again.

Today, I have realized that it is possible that you still love the person, but you don't want to be with him anymore because staying in the relationship hurts more than leaving him.

genuinely why was i the one blocked when they basically had all their exes still added

everytime i look back on that relationship i just see all the messed up shit. I JUST FIND IT SOOOO FUNNY. because WHAT DO YOU MEANNNN i had to fit into your almost impossible standards while you didnt EVEN TRY for me. rightttt righttt righhtttt. because that makes total sense. because oh! you can talk about your exes ALLLL YOU WANT but i so much metion something that happened with mine and all of a sudden you go quiet??? right rightttt righttt. i’m just glad that the heartbreak went away. like it hurt a lot at first and now i just cant believe i trusted you. thanks for the learning experience!!!!! okay im going tf to bed

edit: i still miss you tho like so fucking much

Then why be so weird and distant.

You would at least interact with me here and there.

You like me but you can’t because of my situation. At least from what I’ve heard? But if you knew the situation more in depth I swear you’d be fighting to show me how you feel.

I can admire you not wanting to cross boundaries. I’m the same way. I’m not one to break a moral code. But also, again the dynamic of things changes. Honestly, I’m not even asking for you to be like “ hey. I like you. Let’s fucking run full speed and see what happens “ more like.

“ hey. I see you. Tell me what’s happened. I’m here for you” just show some interest.

You’ve been sly with comments in the past. I catch them. At least I think? Idk dude you’re so confusing and that’s what I hate. My brain doesn’t do well with hot and cold. It’s all I’ve dealt with.

So just TELL ME. Don’t be scared or nervous. Nothing else has to change right now. I just need you to tell me and stop being so avoidant.

When I close my eyes. I see yours looking up at me. Those green eyes pierced my soul. Soften my scarred, and stony heart. In those moments you were the only thing that truly mattered. How badly I wanted to maintain your gaze upon me. To hold you in my arms, and kiss your forehead. It’s been far too long now. You were my weakness, I removed my armor, and laid it to rest at your feet. Discarded my helmet to see you more clearly. Sheathed my sword, and dagger so you’d fear me not. This is why true love is so fragile, why fear grows so intensely, and why nothing hurts like love. I am forever changed. I’d hoped to have held your hand through this season. Instead I’m only left with a transient ghostly presence. I still feel you through the ether.

I’m feeling numb. I’ve picked up my armor, my helmet, my sword, and dagger. Maybe to never remove it again. It’s only love that can hurt like this.

I’d like to rest without this ghostly visage of your beautiful green eyes gazing up at me. Without the cobble stone streets in my minds eye. The fleeting smell of the Baltic in my nostrils. A peripheral glimpse of you in my passenger seat. Without your spirit visiting me in my sleep.

Perhaps I do not. Alas I must retire this softened heart, and return to the world of men.

Today felt like me again.

It’s honestly amazing what happens when you stop letting one person control the mood of your entire world. I went to work today and instead of sitting there overthinking, checking my phone, replaying every hurtful thing in my head, I just…existed. And it was GOOD.

My coworker and I spent the day laughing, making dumb jokes, causing minor workplace chaos, and acting like complete idiots. Honestly? It felt normal again. It felt light. Like the version of me I thought disappeared somewhere in all this stress and sadness finally walked back in wearing sunglasses and carrying googly eyes.

I forgot how much fun I am when I’m not emotionally babysitting someone else’s behavior.

For the first time in a while, my chest didn’t feel heavy all day. I wasn’t waiting for a text. I wasn’t wondering if I mattered. I was just living my life and laughing until my stomach hurt.

Turns out peace is a lot louder than anxiety when you finally stop feeding the anxiety.

And wow…I missed me.

​

I'm taking a moment, throwing a tantrum. I'm frustrated, I'm hurt, idk what to do with it. 

Our lives changed, my life changed several springs ago and I’m still hung up. Still hurting. I'm going kinda crazy. I'm so angry, I'm so frustrated I don't know how to move beyond the victim position and actually heal. Just go through the motions, try to let things go and process, find new things etc. 

I don't understand how we just continue on, how the most devastating moments can take place and the world keeps rolling. People are resilient but it feels useless. Hope is hard. It hurts. 

It feels like the world doesn't care if people are able to continue on because there's always people. And I feel like I'm dying slowly from the inside out and the world doesn't know or care because it just keeps going. Life moves on. People live their lives. My life ended and I'm supposed to keep living. It's unpleasant, it's hard and I just wanted to cry about it cause idk what else to do.