u/Jaded-Preparation-31

I don't know what you are talking about, saying I am lying... about wat? And, there's absolutely no way that I can lie to you without you knowing anyways! Sometimes I think you just make things up so that you can get some kind of reaction from me. Or rather, interaction with me. Come on, that's so immature, just tell me you feel like you need more attention. However, how can I possibly give you anymore attention when my whole focus is on you? Do you not feel it? Are we not so connected as wat I thought? You talk about how things should just be in between me & you only. And the next thing I kno, you're blasting about us all over the place! No more games. Please. We really need to get something going pretty quick, I'm feeling way too much chaos here lately. And no, it's not just u & u are not pushing me away at all. But, something needs to happen and I mean soon!!! I love u. More than anything. Our love is all we can count on. Stand on it. Xoxo

Hey.... We're ok, u kno? No worries here. U can walk up to this door at any time & when I see it's u, u better brace urself.... In a good way! Becuz, I love you & u love me & watever is happening, we're going to get thru it, no matter wat! I got U. You got me. Do not ever forget that! We both need rest in a major way....

Oh, but how delicate it once was! The Dish.... Oh so fragile.... And that darn spoon, tho! What was it doing sticking up out of the ground anyways?? Oh Father, Father, where wert thouest??? Where wert thou when thee was needed thy mostess? Shant you just 'allow' the dish to be broken? Over. And over. And over. And over again! Where wert thou? So, what shall be the end of the story? Shall the dish run away with the spoon??? Only tiiiiiiiiime will teeeeeell

Yup! I said it! That's where you are, that's where you stay, no sense of reality whatsoever! All your words- to me, about me, fantasy- that's all it is. It's not real. It's never going to happen! Do you realize how old we are now??? It all just seems to be a big joke, at my expense! You've held me back my entire life! And, always trying to find some angle to explain what you are doing to me, I have never believed a word you say, I can tell when someone is lying & you are full of it, Mister! I see your mouth moving, but I pay absolutely no attention to what you are saying, never have either! When you get out of your little Wonderland you are living in, there's going to be no one for you to go to, because you have ruined it.... You apologize, say how much you care, but U are the 1 doing it all! U think u got me fooled??? I don't think so! Ur not going to pull the wool over my eyes anymore, or try to. Why do you want to waste my time? Who knows how much longer I'll even be here, u've got me in such bad shape! Finally! Finally I am free of all of ur minions.... now maybe I can be slick and find my way out of this labyrinth you have made my life into! I kno I will find a way! There has to be a way for me for me to get out of ur clutches even for a moment to throw u off of my trail, off of my own path! I will not get deterred by ur shaningans anymore! I will find a way! I will find my own way!!!!!

My Love, my 1 and only forever & ever.... you have been alone for far too long now! I miss you. Terribly. This is driving me insane, this waiting for you every single day & I'm falling apart in all kinds of ways, please come save me! We have only shared a few moments together and I just don't know how much longer I can keep it together. I keep replaying those moments of our time together and I just wish that I would've made it all more special. And I wish I would have been able to look for you back then and see you more. We've missed out on SO much! And, the clock is ticking, the days are just flying by.... Still no US! When will this end? When can we finally have the life we want together, that we deserve? Please stop hurting me. I don't know how much more I can take.... I love you. Very much. More than you know or think, I promise. I keep alot more to myself than you are aware of. I feel more. So, I guess there is a whole lot more to learn about me after all. I can't express these feelings. And the only way for you to know them is to be near me to feel them, too.... Come near! Please! I can't do this forever.... I love u.... Coco

I'm not going anywhere, unless it's with you! All my life, I have been living for other people and loving them with all I had. Where have all of the years gone? Were they a waste? I think not because every road has been leading me to you. I will wait until the end of time for you if I have to. I sure hope that there is still some time left for us. But, I'm not going anywhere , I will be waiting right here for you. I miss you. I love you. I hope that you are doing ok. Please take care of yourself for me......

I'm falling hard, u kno? I've always had real feelings for you, but now I catch myself walking around with a goofy grin on my face, thinking about u, about us. I really enjoyed our time on FaceTime earlier, which is odd for me, I'm not usually so open with anybody, I'm finding a very different side of myself because of you. I so wish you were here, I'm carrying my phone around with me all the time now just in case, because I just want to be as close as I can possibly get to you. And it really helps me with going through these crazy days in my life right now. I just need you! Right here, right now. I don't care where, as long as I can just get next to you. I've never been in a relationship like ours, ever. This is all so new to me. So, I have no idea what I'm doing, I'm just going with the flow. Letting things blossom & bloom in their own time. Thank you for being here through the hard times, I don't know what I would've done without you. I know that our future is going to be great. I have faith. In you, in us, our love. I am yours forever, my love....xoxo

I want you to know that when you come home that I will be ready to go with you. I feel as if who I am right now is not really me. Because I am not with you. You've called me an actor before and I believe that you are right about that! I've been acting ok my whole life and I'm not. I never have been. So the great mystery has finally been solved here, about myself, which I am more than happy about, too, finally. Now it just seems to be a waiting game. I am going to be who I need to be for us. As a couple, as a team, as one. I refuse to let you down. You know that I will not. You have always known that I will not! I do agree that there is quite a bit of grace that needs to be bestowed upon me, as well as me bestowing it upon myself. Which is extremely hard for me to do because every single day I am on 1 guilt trip or another. But, I expect more out of myself. I kno that I can do better. And I will. A person never stops growing up. Something is always growing within a person whether it be mind, body, spirit, soul. Time sure is a funny little intricacy, is it not? Time makes things better at the same time it's making other things worse.... which way are we growing? Backwards or forwards? Certain parts back, certain parts forth.... What is the main goal here with it? What creates the sum of a successful existence? Who decides it? Just a little overflow here today... Ready or not here we come.....

I don't like this. Being apart from you. You kno how I am in my relationships, you've seen me in them in the past. I'm all about my dude! Completely. Supportive, loving, affectionate, my heart is always on the table for my dude. But, it's crazy because I kind of knew that I deserved the same in return, but it just was never reciprocated. Then you finally, after so, so many years show back up in my life again! And, oh, how I wanted you when I first met you & it was such bad timing all those years ago. And, here we are again. Older, wiser, more experienced, & I've learned that I actually do deserve that kind of love after all. And yet again, we cannot be together right now. It's tearing me apart! Everyday that goes by & you are still not here with me. It's a complete nightmare. All I want is you. All I need is you. I love you so so much & I know wholeheartedly that you love me the exact same way in return, if not more! You've loved me way longer. When will we ever be? When can it be US? I don't know what to say...

I love you more than anything in this whole wide world, I love you SO SO much! You are with me always and forever, we shall be .... I ache for you. I yearn for you. My heart and soul burn for you. You are my everything and more! These words do not compare to how I feel about you. My feelings are so very intense that I feel as if I'm going to explode at times! Have a good night, baby, come home to me sooooooon!!!! Xoxo

You are all I have. You are all I want. And, that's actually been all it has been my entire life! The others.... just something to pass the time. Easy come, easy go. Good luck to you, nice knowing you.... Bye! But, not you. You have also always been my constant. Even with me not being conscious about it. But, something inside of me always knew. It was always you. It will always be you. And, I got you, babe! I mean, I totally got you! I wish a mothertrucker would!!! Anyways, I love you. I miss you. I want you. I need you. You are all.... XOXO

You better come on all ready!!! Here I've been waiting for you to show up & I have SO MANY plans for you, I'd hate to give someone else all of these blessings I have to share with you! Becuz.... they are meant for YOU!!! So, get it together down there, do what you gotta do, and get yourself home to me asap!!! Becuz, I am not going to wait forever! I want YOU & only YOU & no1 else! ....xoxo

I absolutely love wat u said.... however, as I replied ..that it all is mostly ur fault. Not entirely, tho. I've always been quite a loner. But, I also found out why & I'm ok with that. In fact, u kno that I still prefer that. So look... I want u to kno that I see you too. How hard u work. And that small of a sentence doesn't do u enough justice. I honestly do not kno any kind of words to describe how hard u work becuz there just aren't any! Blood, sweat, & tears is still not descriptive enough. Your dedication, devotion, commitment, perseverance, drive... still not deep enough words for what you have been doing your whole life. All I can tell u is that I feel it. What u have been doing. And the thing is.... is that, I'm the only person in this whole world that knows all of this about you! I'm honored. And I'm so blessed by knowing you so deeply. I've never in my life felt special. But this... you... you make me feel beyond special. I don't write you much becuz I cannot find the words to describe how I feel, they're so very intense, my feelings about you & for you. That's why I can't wait to finally be with you. Becuz, I'm very sure that you will be able to feel me. And, maybe u already do, with the things u write about me, but I just think that we'll be able to communicate better, on a whole nother level. You challenge me. In so many different ways. And I kno that you hear me grumble & whine & cuss through it all. But, I'm pretty sure anybody would do the same. However, if it was anybody else, I kno that they would just give up & quit. And, I've wanted to so many times, but I just push through it all & try to go above & beyond. Your sacrifice. Almost half a century now! Everything you've had to give up or put off until later. If there even is a later for them! While you watch everyone else. I wish we would've had more time together together. I've definitely followed your lead, I kno this now. And I'm grateful for it becuz I've felt like I was lost so much of the time. These are just a few things that I wanted to share with you. There is so, so much more. And most of it I cannot write becuz there are no words for it. I just feel it. I kno u understand, thankfully. But, I wanted you to kno a little bit of what I do see about you. Thank you. For choosing me, for seeing me, for loving me, for being my very best friend ever! I thought I was nothing. A nobody. But, knowing that I am yours... that is absolutely ALL that I could ever want or need in my whole existence! You are my forever. And there is absolutely nothing... NOTHING... that could ever change that! ...... Until we meet again, my love... I'll be right here waiting for you....xoxo

That's all that I have received from this man and I refuse to accept anymore of them! The things that he does to me? I just wonder if he has any shame at all. Here I am now, back at the grindstone after he's had me pinned down for a year and a half. Yet, never shows his face! And now I'm feeling quite independent again, why would I need a man anyways? Who wants sum1 who does nothing but lie, cheat, & steal from them? Makes me sick! A whole year & a half & I've aged 10 years from it! No breaks. No vacation, no family, no friends, no fun. Only hardship and brokenness, over & over again! NO MORE, I say!!!! Stay away!!! Your 1st Love of money is gonna make your soul rot even more! Keep it. Sleep with it at nite, make love to it. I really don't need you anymore. Treat me like the rest... like I am one of them! Because that is what I AM!!!

You want me to tell you wat I will never forget? How you gave away my place that I had worked SO dang hard on & then sum1 comes along & takes the credit for everything I did there! I would have thrived there! And all of the friends that I will never make now becuz you want everything YOUR way! I'm sick of you! All you do is run me into the ground, all the time! You are breaking me & not in a good way, you are making me hate you! This now, what all is going on in my life, this is just WAY too much! Im going to need something different really, really soon. And it better be something that I like, that I'll enjoy, because right now.... me & you are pretty much no more! I'm absolutely disgusted with you right now, I can't do this anymore, I'm just about done with it all, you are drowning me!!! I feel like I can't breathe, I'm so miserable & you are the source!!!

I'm not sure what is going on right now, you just seem unusually quiet right now. I kno how busy you are all of the time & I'm hoping that you mite actually be resting some. I'm exhausted, baby, so I imagine you are times 10! I miss you. You're doing such an amazing job, I'm more than proud of you. I feel as if I may be seeing you soon. I can't wait! Just kno that you don't have to entertain me or put on any kind of show... just fall into my arms and kno everything is gonna be ok. I love you. So, so much! XOXO......