u/AromaticZebra906

I remain unseen. Loved ones, those who care about me, it doesn't matter.
I don't know what I am. I don't know what's inside. Perhaps I've been pretending so long that I almost believed I'm not hollow and empty on the inside.

Pretending I'm finally happy, but it's not true. Cut me open, there is nothing inside. It's so convoluted and messed up, torn apart and eating itself.

If everyone has a vessel that stores energy, my vessel is corroded. Leaking. Unstable.
I'm wise beyond my years, I've often been told. I'm wise, I listen, I understand.

I try not to anymore... But it hurts wanting to love and care and give my all for others, knowing it will never ever be reciprocated. I want to be thoughtful, but I hold back now.

I've been burnt out too much, corroded, from the thankless effort that goes unnoticed.

"You don't do kind things for a reward"

I know.

I swear I know. But my kindness goes completely unnoticed and taken for granted. It is so selfish being mentally ill...

And yet I always want to save someone when I should save myself first.

I'm always running away. The euphoria I get from being a good listener, a wise mentor, a good friend... Yet it doesn't matter because this euphoria is made of plastic. Fake, superficial.

What's the point in showing love when the inside is empty, and when the other is too filled with anguish to reciprocate?

"Thank you..."

But it's never enough. I'm still hollow. I can't love with all my heart to protect myself, I should restrain myself and not give my all out of sympathy... But I wish I can abandon it all and just be happy qnd content with putting in a thankless effort.

I wish I didn't need praise and affection from those who can't afford to give it to me.

I wish you cared about me. I wish you care about me more than your pain. I wish I was more important to you. I wish I was akin to a God to you like you were to me. I wish you worshipped me like I worshipped you. I wish you cared for what I thought like I cared for what you thought. I wish you didn't pursue me and made me fall in love with you.

Why did you have to drag me into loving you, adoring you, only to drag me down with you.

Why did you come into my life if you eventually don't wish to stay? If you don't wish to try and see me?

This dull pain is suddenly overwhelming.
I am going to say goodbye to you. I am so over it.

I remain unseen. Loved ones, those who care about me, it doesn't matter. I don't know what I am. I don't know what's inside. Perhaps I've been pretending so long that I almost believed I'm not hollow and empty on the inside.

Pretending I'm finally happy, but it's not true. Cut me open, there is nothing inside. It's so convoluted and messed up, torn apart and eating itself.

If everyone has a vessel that stores energy, my vessel is corroded. Leaking. Unstable. I'm wise beyond my years, I've often been told. I'm wise, I listen, I understand.

I try not to anymore... But it hurts wanting to love and care and give my all for others, knowing it will never ever be reciprocated. I want to be thoughtful, but I hold back now.

I've been burnt out too much, corroded, from the thankless effort that goes unnoticed.

"You don't do kind things for a reward"

I know.

I swear I know. But my kindness goes completely unnoticed and taken for granted. It is so selfish being mentally ill...

And yet I always want to save someone when I should save myself first.

I'm always running away. The euphoria I get from being a good listener, a wise mentor, a good friend... Yet it doesn't matter because this euphoria is made of plastic. Fake, superficial.

What's the point in showing love when the inside is empty, and when the other is too filled with anguish to reciprocate?

"Thank you..."

But it's never enough. I'm still hollow. I can't love with all my heart to protect myself, I should restrain myself and not give my all out of sympathy... But I wish I can abandon it all and just be happy qnd content with putting in a thankless effort.

I wish I didn't need praise and affection from those who can't afford to give it to me.

I wish you cared about me. I wish you care about me more than your pain. I wish I was more important to you. I wish I was akin to a God to you like you were to me. I wish you worshipped me like I worshipped you. I wish you cared for what I thought like I cared for what you thought. I wish you didn't pursue me and made me fall in love with you.

Why did you have to drag me into loving you, adoring you, only to drag me down with you.

Why did you come into my life if you eventually don't wish to stay? If you don't wish to try and see me?

This dull pain is suddenly overwhelming. I am going to say goodbye to you. I am so over it.

I remain unseen. Loved ones, those who care about me, it doesn't matter.

I don't know what I am. I don't know what's inside. Perhaps I've been pretending so long that I almost believed I'm not hollow and empty on the inside.

Pretending I'm finally happy, but it's not true. Cut me open, there is nothing inside. It's so convoluted and messed up, torn apart and eating itself.

If everyone has a vessel that stores energy, my vessel is corroded. Leaking. Unstable.

I'm wise beyond my years, I've often been told. I'm wise, I listen, I understand.

I try not to anymore... But it hurts wanting to love and care and give my all for others, knowing it will never ever be reciprocated. I want to be thoughtful, but I hold back now. I've been burnt out too much, corroded, from the thankless effort that goes unnoticed.

"You don't do kind things for a reward"

I know.

I swear I know. But my kindness goes completely unnoticed and taken for granted. It is so selfish being mentally ill... And yet I always want to save someone when I should save myself first.

I'm always running away. The euphoria I get from being a good listener, a wise mentor, a good friend... Yet it doesn't matter because this euphoria is made of plastic. Fake, superficial.

What's the point in showing love when the inside is empty, and when the other is too filled with anguish to reciprocate?

"Thank you..."

But it's never enough. I'm still hollow. I can't love with all my heart to protect myself, I should restrain myself and not give my all out of sympathy... But I wish I can abandon it all and just be happy qnd content with putting in a thankless effort.

I wish I didn't need praise and affection from those who can't afford to give it to me.

I wish you cared about me. I wish you care about me more than your pain. I wish I was more important to you. I wish I was akin to a God to you like you were to me. I wish you worshipped me like I worshipped you. I wish you cared for what I thought like I cared for what you thought. I wish you didn't pursue me and made me fall in love with you.

Why did you have to drag me into loving you, adoring you, only to drag me down with you.

Why did you come into my life if you eventually don't wish to stay? If you don't wish to try and see me?

This dull pain is suddenly overwhelming.

I am going to say goodbye to you. I am so over it.

I just realized that seeing very thin idols or beautiful people is something I seem to view as thinspo.

I hate this. I know what will happen. I will try to restrict only to binge. And yet it feels sooo tempting... I did this before but it never developed into a fullblown anorexia even though I did lose weight... Which I regained all back and more.

Now I get the urges to just say "fuck it let's tey again" even though I KNOW this isn't ok. Even though I am supposed to heal my relationship with food in order to find equilibrium...

But god. I can't stand how fat I am... I can't stand how other people look so thin and... Disciplined.

To heal, I tell myself "just let go and fo your everyday life" but doing that, I ended up finally becoming obese...

I don't feel connected to this vessel. It's not mine... It's something.

I wonder sometimes if it's even worth it. The praise I got when I lost weight was intoxicating. And now a heavier friend of mine finally healed her relationship eith food and ended up losing some weight and looking healthier... I am so fucking jealous.

Everyone around me is thinner. I am eating myself to death... I am so tired of this weight I carry. Of eating my heart out.

Please, I am just so tired.

For those who loved the taste of animals and fish but went vegan for ethical reasons, how do you handle the fucking cravings???

I've been vegetarian for a bit less than a year and now transitioning to veganism. Haven't had cheese or dairy or eggs in a month, but things aren't getting better. I feel like a feral animal when I smell animal products (my cravings for meat still aren't completely over btw).

I hate this feeling. Even with the fake cheese, it's just not the same at all. I miss eating delicious pastries too. I tried to bake some but it never came out delicious.

Nothing is scratching the itch. I hate this feeling so bad.

Latest example is people calling a bunch of maids gossiping "bitches" and "npcs" and how they'd kill them.

FOR MERE GOSSIP LMAO. Nobles are privileged as fuck, peasants are allowed to gossip. That's their only reprieve.

These readers have no class consciousness frfr.

Age: 4 years

Race: tuxedo standard issue cat

Zone: France

My cat went to the emergency room few weeks ago because of a mix of heat and stress that caused an asthma attack and slight fever.

Bloodwork is perfect, but the ultrasound confirmed he was suffering from an asthma attack. He was given a shot to calm down his breathing, another shot of cortisol, and a puff of inhaler. He was also prescribed medication and inhaler and now he's back to normal now (playing, eating, pooping, pissing, sleeping, the whole jazz)

However, the vet akso told me that the ultrasound showed that he has a bigger-than-average heart? But that they didn't find any problems witj it. His followup appointment is next week but I am suddenly feeling very anxious.

Can I ask, is it sometimes normal for a cat to have a... Big heart? Or does this usually mean that my cat will likely develop heart disease? Please be as honest as possible based oj the cases you've seen or your experience.

The vet told me that this is probably just how his body is, but I just wanna know if you have worked with cats who had a normal lifespan despite having a big heart. Or if thar was never the case.

Thankyou.

Live in France. Vegetarian and I'm trying to transition into veganism but for my whole life, I ate dairy products and products that contain dairy (cheese, eggs, yogurt, milk).

I haven't drank milk in long and I haven't eaten eggs either, but yogurt and cheese are things I am so damn used to eating...

If you have a recipe for vegan cheese or yogurt than can genuinely scratch that itch then pls can you share?

Also a long shot but anyone in France, can you share vegan cheese and vegan ice cream products? Or any pantry staples that are accidentally vegan? I am struggling to find pasta and noodles that don't have eggs.

Was walking, saw blood splatters (a fight likely took place) and now I feel queasy, when before, those thingd didn't give me THAT much of an adverse reaction.

Like, anything relating to bodily functions aside from my own or my cat's are suddenly making me soooo fucking grossed out I get queasy.

Even remembering bad smells or gross scenes is giving me this adverse reaction. Wtf is going on???

I really don't care about any of that. I just find the noises awful and torturous.

Because even eating with closed mouth does NOT help. I STILL hear it, the micro chewing noise.

All people make some noise when eating whether it be when they open their mouth, or chomp on something with their mouth closed.

But god it's worse becauee I don't even have a moral superiority about it sigh...

Earplugs is the way to go. But I am tiredddd.

One of the posts that made me not like the vibe is how one girl talked about a fetish her bf had and despite the fetish being so damn tame, everyone was acting like it's the most gross thing ever.

Another post got deleted because OP talked about having a dream about a girl with a big dick but not specifically trans.

The mods deleted the thread and many people were acting grossed out by the horny OP.