u/memenaptime

I'm new here and just want to share my experience and find community. I moved in with my uncle to help out during/after some family trauma a few years ago. I was also in grad school at the time. My uncle works at a liquor store. He also drinks alcohol daily, starting around lunchtime on his days off through his nightcap. He shows his love and appreciation for me by bringing me home fun new drinks from work. When everything was happening in our family I was extremely stressed and just kind of fell into my uncle's drinking routine. I would have a glass of wine every night. Sometimes two. Sometimes a canned cocktail and then a glass of wine. Sometimes just the canned cocktail.

3:30 would hit and I would feel so antsy waiting for an acceptable time to have my first glass. I feel like I am rejecting my uncle's love by leaving the drinks he gets for me untouched. I know to him he probably doesn't feel this way, but I do. Anyway, I loved getting buzzed every night. Sometimes I would send DMs on Instagram as if I'm everybody's close friend and then I'd think the next morning, dang, it's probably obvious I had a glass of wine when I sent that message. I didn't like that feeling. Eventually, though, I didn't really feel buzzed with my usual beverage(s) of choice and while I wanted that feeling again, something about 3 drinks in one night felt wrong to me.

Then the body changes. I've always been physically fit and somewhat active, but during the family stress and since I moved in with my uncle I stopped moving my body. I also have a sedentary job. I gained almost 20lbs, which really bothered me. I knew a good chunk of my calories were coming from alcohol. I hated how I felt. For the first time in my life I hated how my body looked. Over the past few years I'd start and stop fitness programs. I would start off by logging my calories from alcohol, then I'd slowly stop logging, then it was just back to my usual habits.

I have had 2 alcoholic beverages since the beginning of the month. It was at one celebratory dinner. I didn't even feel a buzz. My head felt all pressurized and I knocked out when I got home and didn't even get to enjoy the rest of my evening. The drinks tasted good I won't lie. But it just didn't do it for me. The ultimate test was the next evening... would I have a glass of wine? I didn't crave one, so I didn't pour one. I have also been exercising again and my macros have been great. I'm hoping this isn't another fail. I won't let it be.

One thing that has helped me is using principles from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). I identified my values, as well as what the version of me would look like who lived according to those values. I identified specific behaviors that would bring me either toward or away that version of me. When I have a craving or consider drinking for the heck of it, that is my choice point. I can choose to enact the behaviors that are aligned with my values, or not. I find when I take that moment to envision the person I want to (and know I can) be, I feel motivated to make choices that bring me closer to that reality. And in doing so, I am the version of me that I want to be.

Have you always been a lip balm person? I ask because my mom recently reminded me of a story about when I went to visit my dad for the summer when I was about 10. While I was gone, my mom deep cleaned my room and found like 42 various lip products in every crack and crevice of my room. I also used to have a routine when I was a toddler where I'd ask my mom for "music, nightlight, chapstick" before bed. Always had to end with the chapstick. I'm not sure how it started either. I do remember my dad always offering me his Carmex as a kid. Either way, I still love lip products to this day. My absolute favorite lip balm is the Elf Holy Hydration Lip Mask. I slather it on every night.

I'd love to hear your stories about how your love of lip balm began!

My female Timneh is 8 months. She chit chats a lot during the day. It sounds like a baby babbling, like they could form words but they’re not. Is this a common stage before mimicking words, or is the babbling considered her talking?

I’m know every bird is different, just looking for others’ experiences.

Today my 8-month grey flew to me and landed on my arm for the first time. It may or may not have been for a grape. Rewarding nonetheless. I can’t wait to wake up in the morning and hang out with her again :)))

Background: My 7-month Timneh is doing awesome with target training when in her cage. She will go across the whole cage, touch the target, then enjoy her little walnut piece. She also steps up voluntarily now and will come to her cage door to step up for out-of-cage time.

Problem: Right now, we have two perches meant for the inside of her cage actually attached so they're coming off from the outside of the cage. We want to get her a playstand or tree-style perch eventually. My goal is to continue target training on these perches and encourage her to station. However, the second she gets out of the cage, she's staring at our (ALWAYS OFF) ceiling fan. She almost immediately flies up onto it. She will step onto a perch from the fan and come down, but then she flies up there again. I try my best to keep her engaged during short training sessions, but I feel like I can't even capture her attention outside her cage. I've tried walnuts (only during training) and blueberries as high-value rewards, but once she's out of the cage she doesn't care about treats.

Solution?: I called Parrot Stars where I got her and explained the situation. They advised that we continue target training while she's in her cage and they also advised that when we do out-of-cage training not to start with her inside the cage giving treats so that she's hungry and engaged at the start of the out-of-cage training. They also reinforced that training sessions should be short and end on a positive note.

Question: Have any of you encountered this? Any additional ideas or tips?

Hi all, I could use some community and support right now. Not sure exactly what I need. I have thought about getting a bird for about 6 years. Within the last several months, I decided I was interested in a Timneh. Well I did tons of research and my husband and I felt prepared, so we committed. At the same time, our beloved dog has bone cancer and we are navigating that.

I have also generally experienced a lot of death in the past 6 years, losing my stepfather, grandmother, two childhood pets, and most recently my father. So I'm really confused as to how I'm feeling about my dog. I love him more than anything, but also feel desensitized to death. At the same time we had planned to and then committed to taking care of our grey, Junie. We want to give Junie a great life and have committed to do so, but I would be lying if I said I'm not overwhelmed right now. Getting used to her noises, feeling like I am betraying my sweet dog by showing attention to another creature. Feeling like I fucked up in so many ways.

I'm so overwhelmed and panicking I have been physically ill. The conflicting emotions are tearing my heart apart. I want my dog to be ok. I want to build an amazing bond with our grey. I know we can do it. I just feel like I did when my dad died. Rotten from the inside out, no appetite, vomiting.

Sorry to be a downer. You're all such great grey owners and I want to be the same. I just feel very inadequate right now. I could use any positive words or thoughts.