Am I overreacting for trust being damaged?
Hi there, for some context my gf (27) and I (26) have been together a year and a half. (wlw).
From the start, my boundaries were clear that I do not want porn in the relationship as I feel it’s damaging to a relationship and have been hurt with it in the past. She understood. I always found her a bit secretive with what she does online, but I trusted her. about a year ago, i brought up someone she follows ( from before we were together ) as they posted alot of suggestive stuff and she has an OF account, she said to me
“ Oh she’s someone I seen a picture of before years ago and I liked her vibe, she has the weirder animals “ such as tarantulas etc, and then was like to me “ oh are you jealous of her? awhhhh all jealous my baby “ and all, making it out i was insecure and jealous for absolutely nothing basically. She says she unfollow her but she never does, I moved past and forgot it because i was like well i trust her and i understood the liking the vibe as it is my gfs kinda thing. Last night then, I mentioned her again just as I noticed she still followed this person as I was searching for someone else that I know with a similar name but that persons page suggested to me, reminding me. She then blurts out , obviously forgetting what she had said before , “ oh yeah she’s from porn from yearrrrssss ago “ , i was like ???? that’s not what you told me ????? She even tried to flip it on me saying I remembered wrong, mixing that situation up with my ex..
I was super upset, not even about the following her still but the ease she had lying to me when i first asked about her, and she said that was because she didn’t want to upset me.. I was like no, you protected yourself in that instance, lied about why you followed her, continued to then follow her knowing you lied to me about it.
it’s made me question alot of things now because we have had weird situations. When we first started our relationship, she still had tinder a month into it, i accidentally seen that when she showed me something on her phone. I asked her to click into it and she was on someone’s profile, on the pictures. She said she was on tinder because an old friend was on it and they had chatted and she forgot to delete, but i was like ok, why on some random girls profile then? There was no texts from the month we were together but i still find that super weird. I also find that she can exaggerate things or add to stories, so now i just don’t trust her at all. I have been extremely hurt in my past, relationship wise, romantic & familial, so i find trusting super hard and feel i create a space that’s open to hearing someone’s truth in the moment but if they lie, then that’s it’s done. Am i overreacting?