little vent post
hey all, wanted to make a little post here because i can’t really talk to my family about this because it makes them depressed
i was born in israel and moved to new jersey about 10 years ago when i was 10 years old. this gave me the very unique privilege of getting to directly experience the changing views on israel with the times. from “oh i don’t know where that is” “yeah i didn’t expect you to haha it’s a small country”, to “ahh i think i heard about that? it’s in the middle east right?” to “oh so you’re jewish?” to much more disgusted and noticeable reactions
i mean generally speaking the hate of israel and israeli people is pretty much inescapable in any (non Jewish exclusive) fandom, group, or area, it is insanely normalised and you hear it every day in jokes around campus. i learned to grow thicker skin around it, but the issue is it’s starting to get me into shit. i have a pretty strict personal moral code against not lying unless it’s for someone else’s sake. so i used to just avoid the topic, and then when asked when im from id tell the truth.
after a particularly bad event though at a halloween party when my (ex)friend’s roommate immediately left the room upon me revealing where i was born and then going on about how israel doesn’t exist and everyone from there is bloodthirsty and brainwashed, i began just refusing to tell people where im from.
this brings me to yesterday. i was hooking up with this guy and getting high. when im intoxicated, it’s harder for me to keep up an american accent, and my natural accent pops out. he noticed this and asked me where im from— which prompted me to say that i unfortunately no longer share that information as it’s not particularly safe for me to do so but he’s free to guess if he wants.
this caused him to excitedly bounce around country names. he named countries from all over the world with excitement and amazement, many of them with terrible histories and having committed an innumerable amount of human atrocities. after continuously rejecting his guesses, he began getting frustrated, and said, “dude i have no clue where you could be from! i feel like i guessed everything” to which i answered light heartedly, getting comfortable, “i gave you the biggest hint at the start!” “which was?” “that it’s not safe for me to reveal where i’m from anymore because it ruins my relationships.” this comment immediately shifted his mood. “oh… i, i actually was gonna guess that at the start but didn’t because i thought it was unlikely…” then, he tensely added, “so you were born there?” “yeah, and lived there for 10 years” “why did you move here?” “because we didn’t like the government” “oh thank god!” he noted, relaxing a bit, “i was worried you were implying something when you mentioned you’re from israel. like i was worried you’re a zio- well ah sorry i don’t mean to upset you. it’s… it’s cool” i could tell he was getting nervous again at this point due to the lack of me laughing along. “it’s okay,” i think i responded, “i don’t care about the nitty gritty politics. i don’t care what your position or anyone else’s is. i have my own opinions on the situation, but i don’t think it’s relevant to my identity whatsoever. i didn’t choose to be born in israel. i don’t think anyone should be judged based on things they can’t control. i don’t think anyone should die. i always align myself with the position i think will secure peace and prosperity to as many people as possible. i don’t judge people based on their citizenship” he completely agreed with me and we laid the topic to rest, but it kinda stuck with me. he was chill, but this is a conversation i have had so many times at this point just for revealing a fact about myself. and as previously mentioned, it doesn’t always go so well. what stood out to me though was how it feels like the assumption of what israeli people are like keeps deteriorating. it keeps going further down the “guilty until proven innocent” path, if the view holder even gives israeli people that sort of benefit of the doubt.
i guess i just wonder if there’s something to be done about it. i used to put in effort to show people israeli people aren’t some heartless monsters but it proved pretty fruitless, because my words were forgotten as soon as a popular leftist figure comes along talking about how terrible israel is. (don’t get me started on the new york times.) when i saw i wasn’t getting anywhere, i encouraged my family to give up the fight too and just ride this hate wave out until people get bored. but it’s increasingly feeling like people aren’t getting bored. the news and demonisation just keeps on coming and getting more extreme. so yeah i guess im a tad lost on the matter