u/mingwraig

"You have lived a wicked life," the Devil says. "For your sins, you are condemned to spend eternity in torment."

He gestures toward three enormous doors.

"I'll show you what lies behind each one. Then you must choose which door you will spend eternity behind."

The Devil opens the first door. As far as the eye can see, countless damned souls are balanced upside down on their heads, pressed into a floor of sharp gravel. The air is filled with endless groans and cries of agony. The man winces.

The Devil closes the door and opens the second. Again, the horizon is filled with condemned souls standing on their heads. This time, however, the floor is smooth ceramic tile.

Tile has to be better than gravel, the man thinks. But eternity is a very long time.

"I'd like to see behind the third door."

The Devil smiles and pushes it open. Inside are thousands upon thousands of people standing around, ankle-deep in thin, watery shit. They're chatting casually, sipping coffee from mugs.

The man wrinkles his nose.

The smell would take some getting used to, he thinks. But I like coffee. And standing in sewage can't be nearly as bad as balancing on my head forever.

"I choose this one."

The Devil nods.

The man steps through the doorway. It slams shut behind him with a deafening crash. He picks up a mug from a nearby trolley, takes a satisfied sip, and thinks to himself:

This isn't so bad after all.

At that moment, a demon materialises in a cloud of smoke, cracks a whip, and bellows:

"Right, everyone! Coffee break's over... back on your heads!"