u/modpodgestuck

what program is the best, which would you recommend? i’m from out of state and and somewhat familiar with the colleges in chicago but not with every option out there.

it’s over $100 at gamestop! what’s up with that? i’ve been dying to play twilight princess with a handheld gamepad vs the wii remote. why’s it so expensive!?

does anyone actually think they’ll port twilight princess to the switch or should i just invest in my favorite game?

my grandma has been in hospice for a little over a week now. she was admitted to the hospital 17 days ago, and it was downhill from there. she went into the hospital her full, lively self, and is now basically comatose and unresponsive. she is a shell of the person she was. must have lost over half her body weight. she’s cold, taught and still. and i don’t know if i can go back. i’ve been to the hospital every single day since she was admitted, and it’s been deeply exhausting and emotionally grueling. i don’t think i can go back and look at her like that again. but i also feel guilty for not being there. i know there’s no right answer with hospice, but how do i navigate this? i feel like she’s going to pass any second, so am i wasting this time i have? is it even a waste if all we do is sit there and wait for her to take her last breath? i know my grandma knows i love her and i don’t think she would be upset with me, but i also feel like it would be wrong not to. i just don’t know if i can anymore.

lukewarm update: my mom is there at the hospital right now and told me that she’s worse and that she (my mom) is glad i’m not there to see it. i fully can’t wrap my head around how she is worse than yesterday, so i’m glad i didn’t go either. i love you grandma, from here to pluto and back again.

my grandma was admitted to the hospital last week, she thought she was having a heart attack but she was actually diagnosed with double pneumonia. she has some memory issues, so she was very confused and agitated in the beginning. we found out about a day or so later that she has AFIB. it quickly became less about the pneumonia and more about her heart and how weak it had become fighting infection. three of her ventricles are not working properly. a few days ago, palliative care was brought in and spoke with my family. we had assumed that my grandma was going to go to a rehab to gain back her strength, and then we would have her go to assisted living. unfortunately, the team let us know that my grandma’s heart does not have much longer, and that she does not have much time left. so we started comfort care, and the transition to hospice at an assisted living facility.

my grandma was my second mom growing up; she caught me when i was born, she babysat me every week, she brought me to every park in my city. we had a lot of ice cream growing up. she read me a lot of books. she was the most perfect grandma. never once yelled, i never saw her mad. when i came out, she wasn’t phased. she loved to knit, and sing. everybody in my family has at least 3 hats made by her. she would knit them in bulk and donate them to thrift stores, so i bet a lot of people have them, honestly. they were made with love. she was a social worker her whole life, and she saw the good in everyone. she loved people, she loved talking. she could strike up a conversation with anyone, anytime, anywhere. she has three kids, 4 grandchildren, one great grand child, and a bunch of ex-husbands. we talked today about what a strong woman she was to have been divorced in the 60’s, went back to school, and raised 3 kids. she was a badass.

yesterday she was very lucid. it was like talking to grandma before the memory issues. we were laughing and crying and it felt sort of hopeful, though we knew it was just a surge. today she has declined a lot, so much so that she was approved for in-hospital hospice care. we don’t think she will make it through the night. i said goodbye to her a couple hours ago, and i told her that i loved her. she woke up from her near comatose state to whisper that she loves me too. i think im okay if that’s the last time i ever see her, as much as a person can be okay with something like that.

all of this has happened so quickly. her birthday was 2 weeks ago and we went out to lunch. she had a glass of wine and said a raunchy dick joke. now she can barely open her eyes, she can barely breathe. sometimes when i’m in the room i disassociate the person from what’s going on, and then i get a good look at her and realize it’s MY grandma, and i freak out. i have to appreciate that this is probably the best way to go, comfortable and high and surrounded by love. we could all only be so lucky. but i wish i just had one more day before all this happened. one of the first days she was there she asked to braid my hair and i said no grandma, you rest. but i wish i would have let her.

thanks for reading.