u/mollz1342

I'm 33. My brother (31)with BPD had a big, abusive episode on me around Christmas last year. My mom stopped talking to me for months because I wanted her to take accountability for the abuse she has allowed me to suffer my entire life while she turned a blind eye. That resulted in abandonment.

My husband and I are moving back to my homes state. We have to get a hotel instead of being able to stay with my family because I am not safe in my mom's house.

I have an older brother and we have a great relationship. I will miss out on spending time with him. (He has autism and still loves with them.)

Instead of facing the confronting my brother and standing up for me, she is allowing my relationship with her to suffer to keep my brother comfortable.

I know she is hurt that we are getting a hotel vs staying with her, but she enables his abusive behavior. She's constantly chosen my little brother's happiness and comfort over my brother and me no matter the cost.

If one of my children bullied my other two children and was physically abusive to them, I would handle it. I wouldn't neglect my kids and let it get this far.

Why do parents choose to enable the abuser and allow them to ruin the family dynamic?