Becoming a SAHM- spouse boundaries
I’m seriously planning to leave the workforce in 6 months. I’ve worked over 25 years for the same company, I’ll be giving up a good income, bonuses, benefits, pension, paid adult time, independence and identity outside of the home, but I’ve been contemplating this for a long time and we are both feeling good about this decision. My kids will be 15 & 8, so this is far from a maternity leave and more of a house manager, cook, uber driver position that I’m already currently juggling, but simply stretched too thin with the weight of my job.
As it stands I already manage most of the stuff. We are a little old fashion, grew up with SAHMs so naturally slipped into these roles but with me working as well. My spouse never cooks, he will order in if I can’t make dinner, I shop plan and make all the meals, I do the laundry, I clean the house between and with the help of a biweekly house cleaner, I do 100% of the driving and activities for our younger one, and 25-50% of the driving for our older one (she for the most part needs drop off and pick up but we don’t stay). I do the bed time routines, doctors, dentists etc. I clean the pool, garden, weed. My husband mows the lawn (it’s so small it takes 10 minutes including the edging). In the winter I shovel the snow, he may help with the foot of the driveway after the plow has gone through. I help with homework and generally spend more quality time with my kids.
It’s not that there a whole lot more that he can expect of me when I’m not working- I’d be happy to do the lawn, and look forward to going to the gym during the day when the kids are at school and not at 5am. I may increase involvement at the school and help a bit more with our ailing parents.
I still feel like it’s important to set some boundaries “rules” before I go into this.
There definitely needs to be something around finances- I still need to have discretion and decision. We’ve worked through our budget and his monthly income covers our monthly expenses but we have a lot of lumpy expenses ie. child’s annual golf memberships, hockey tuition, property taxes, vacation, that we will need to set money aside for each year. We do this now, but he dips into that savings account automatically and I think I’d feel better discussion transactions first.
I’d also like to know that at some point if I need a break or a “day off” I can get one. Is that fair/reasonable?