I just stumbled out of bed and made the last bit of coffee in the house. I added milk and it tasted funny. I sniffed the jug and it smelled fine, so I tried a little sip. It tastes distinctly like unsweetened yoghurt. I just want to drink my coffee.
Hi, I am Moosh. Am elegant tuxedo cat. Routine is important and I have lots of routine. One is every morning, sleep in mom's lap in the sun while she drink smelly coffee. Sometimes mom pets before I am sleepy and I must do a stapler chomp to arm, tell her stop. She should know better. But usually, is very peaceful, and one of the best naps.
Sometimes though, light greebles come attack! Mom says stop, is just light shining off phone, but I, elegant Moosh, am greebles expert. I know what I see, mom does not have cat knowledge. Greebles must be pounced right away, or bad thing happens. Is very important, more important than silly thing like scratch mom's leg while launching off. I do not *want* to scratch legs, but mom's legs is soft, and soft things need extra claw if moosh is going to catch greebles in time.
Anyway, I catch greebles and patrol room for a little bit, but they not come back because I caught first one in time. Mom says ITC because it isn't even greebles. Mom is wrong though, right?
I just put a ton of energy into writing advice in response to a question, and when I finally finished and went to post it, the dam thread was locked. I had an idea no one else suggested, I spent time on it, and now it just goes straight in the trash. God fucking dam it.