is it valid to consider myself a selective mute?
i have a strange unusual sounding voice that catches people off guard the first time they hear it. they question it, they judge it, they insult it, and i’ve endured this for years. i’ve faced disrespect, humiliation and mockery to a point i was genuinely dehumanized. i was never taken seriously by adults. i’d ask a question, then they do answer but by mimicking my voice. i’ve learned and accepted that, me? talking? is just a joke. i can’t speak without people making my voice the spotlight of the conversation. it’s extremely uncomfortable and it makes me feel horrible hearing my own voice. its so bad that it triggers me to shut down mid conversation. until, i just stopped talking entirely and use my notes app to communicate with people in real life. i’m afraid that using my voice will trigger me to get overwhelmed and possibly go through a mental breakdown that i let people hear my voice. and i’m of course afraid of them judging it and insulting it and i just dont wanna go through that pain anymore. but i read somewhere that selective mutism isn’t apparently caused by trauma. so, am i really a selective mute or something else?