u/mystical_midnight

I love going all out for concert outfits and crafting my own, and I’ve been thinking of what to do for 5sos… I am barely on social media (aside from here lol) and I try to avoid concert videos so I don’t get “spoilers”, so I’m just wondering, what’s the general vibe for outfits for this tour? Like colours and everything. I think I’ve seen some red, maybe some pink? What’s the main colour scheme? I know stars are a big thing for this era, so I’ll definitely incorporate that. Thanks so much!!

Ok so the title is a bit too narrowed down so I want to explain my situation here and see if anyone has any advice. I want to provide proper context so bear with me until I get to my question.

I am in my mid 20s. I was diagnosed with autism a few years ago and it explained so many things about my life. I have struggled with friendships my entire life, and so far I cannot hold down a job without severely damaging my mental and physical health. I generally do not fit in with what society expects of people these days. I get overwhelmed and overloaded incredibly easily.

My older brother has always been way better socially than me, he has always had a friend group and has never been without friends (whereas I have been completely without human emotional support at multiple points in my life). Additionally, he gets along better with my parents as he has the same religion and worldview as they do, whereas I have branched out in my beliefs and values. I am a leftist (who is also queer) and they are conservatives. My point with this is that when I don't have friends, I am truly alone, whereas my brother would at least have a sense of community around my family if he lost all his friends.

He has been trying to get into med school for a few years. He isn't doing as well as he would like to. My mom said that he feels like he doesn't have a purpose in life and feels dejected, which is understandable. However, I find it very hard to have empathy for him when he talks to me about this topic. I cannot hold down any job at all--he has worked at the same place for like 9 years now. I cannot maintain friendships, he has had a massive friend group since high school. Barely anyone has shown romantic interest in me throughout my life, whereas he has consistently had people romantically interested in him since he was in high school. And trust me, I never stop hearing about how "handsome" my brother is from various family members and family friends.

I am too exhausted to pretend that I feel bad for him for not getting into med school. I know this might make me a bad person, but I don't know how to force myself to feel things I don't. It's not like he even did any extra work to get into med school, he didn't volunteer or anything, he just expects to get in because everything in his life has been handed to him on a silver platter. I wish that he could gain some perspective about how lucky he is in life, but I know that I can't say that to him because that would be mean in a time of stress and sadness. But I still feel that way. I feel angry at how many chances he has been given to do well in life but this one thing doesn't go perfectly and now he has "no purpose" in life. I want him to live one day in my life and see if he still feels that way. If he had to deal with the multiple mental illnesses I have on top of my autism, on TOP of the constant disagreements I have with my family, he would not be able to handle it.

How do I gain empathy for him in this situation? Is it even my place to do so? Maybe I just need tips on how to not take it so personally when he clearly can't see how privileged he is

Having a job destroys me. Every time I’ve tried, no matter how easy, even if it’s just part time, burns me out and makes me lose the will to live. I also don’t prioritize romance the way most people my age (23) seem to. I care about my pets and my hobbies more than anything. I can’t work but it’s hard to socialize and make friends when you don’t work and aren’t motivated to do so, it’s hard to even think about dating when you’re dependent on your parents in your mid 20s. I am very lucky that my parents are willing to financially support me, but it is not emotionally healthy for me to be in this environment. I am also more intelligent than my family members in a lot of ways (we all think this, it isn’t just me), which makes me feel insanely isolated and alone because they genuinely cannot fathom how intense my mind can be. I’ve been to therapy for years by the way.

I don’t know what to do. I’m not even looking for advice because I know that what I need is to live outside of this stifling system of competitive capitalistic heteronormative ideals, but there is nothing I can do right now to achieve that.

Before anyone says that life is hard for everyone right now in this system, I know that. And it doesn’t help when people say that. Because somehow my peers are still managing to work at least part time, and sometimes sustain romantic and platonic relationships, and then there’s me. So no, I truly don’t think that the average non-autistic person struggles with life as much as the average autistic person does. I don’t have any capacity left.

I am tired.