u/naked_mole_rat_03

I (22 NB) am planning a short, one-night trip to a town just under 200 miles away and I brought this up to my mum. I mentioned that the trip would be kind of expensive for me as I'm currently unemployed (I could comfortably afford it but I don't feel comfortable spending a lot of money right now without any income). She suggested that she could come along and split expenses with me on the condition that I help her de-clutter our house.

Our house has a lot of clutter and it's been an ongoing issue for years that it needs sorting out. I will admit that I'm not particularly motivated to help out (it's one of my least favourite things to do), but if she asked me to I would, because I acknowledge our joint responsibility to do it.

My issue is that she pretty much only ever suggests we do de-cluttering when I suggest a trip like this. She says it's because she feels she needs to offer me motivation to do it, but I feel like I can't look forward to the trips because I then associate them with a chore.

I've offered that we can do the de-cluttering, but I want it to be un-coupled from the trip (i.e. not a condition for going). She's reluctant to agree to this. Therefore, I'm wondering AITD for standing my ground.

For added context, in the past she has threatened to cancel trips we had planned (but not yet booked) because we hadn't done enough de-cluttering, and has taken a lot of convincing to let the trips go ahead.

I think I remember one of the hosts mentioning that they'd designed a self-guided trivia tour. Can anyone let me know whether this is a thing, and if so, how I can find it?

I have plans to go to beach with my friend and one of her other friends. I'll refer to my friend as Amy and her friend as Heather.

Amy, Heather and I were all on the same course at collge and started hanging out in sophomore-year. However, both of them had to repeat sophomore-year, while I made it into junior-year. In the year since, I've only kept in touch with Amy and have only seen Heather once.

I have never really liked Heather. I find her selfish and uncompromising, and I don’t like how she treats Amy, but Amy is good friends with her. Last year we all went to the beach together and the two of them were originally thinking of going to one beach, but I suggested we go to a different one as it would be easier to get to, and we all agreed to go to that one. Heather then spent the whole day moping and complaining about how terrible the town was. She also made decisions about where we would visit without consulting anyone else.

This year we have plans to go back to that same beach and I'm somewhat dreading it. I don't want to miss out on going to the beach and spending the day with Amy, but I'm scared Heather is going to ruin it. How do I enjoy this day out without letting Heather get to me and without ending up picking fights with her?